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Photo: One of the beautiful girls of Thailand What's On This Page? |
Thailand - Girls Page 1Last updated: 28th April 2009
A significant proportion of the population is poor; especially those living in the north and northeast (Isaan) regions. Some poor girls will actively seek relationships with foreign men because the man's money will give them and their families a better life. This kind of relationship may be satisfactory but the girl's primary reason for being with a foreigner is so that he can support her and her family. There are a small minority of Thai girls who seek out vulnerable foreign men who don't understand anything about Thais or Thailand in order to cheat them out of money. That's really all you need to know. If it's that easy, why do so many foreign men have problems with Thai girls? There are various reasons. Most foreign men who visit Thailand don't understand Thailand. They only visit tourist areas and what they see is not a real representation of the overall situation. Thai girls who are only interested in foreign men for money flock to those areas and so it seems that a high proportion of Thai women are interested in foreign men. That is not the case.
It is not a young Thai girl's dream to meet an old foreigner and go off to live in the West. Most Thai girls I know are attracted to young Asian men, whether they be Thai, Chinese, Korean or Japanese. Most Thais I know are also very happy living a Thai way of life in Thailand. The last thing they would want is to move to a foreign country to live a foreign way of life away from their families. Life for most Thais is just about perfect ... apart from one thing. Thais have an eye for beautiful things and enjoy the good things in life but there is never enough money. Because of the way Thai society is structured, poor Thais will never get an opportunity to make a decent amount of money. For that sector of society there is only one possible option for financial gain, and that is through a relationship with a foreigner.
Last updated: 28th April 2009
Their views are correct for the areas of Thailand they are familiar with but not for the country overall. For the reasons given above, those areas will attract certain types of girls who are not representative of the majority of Thai girls. I used to visit the tourist areas as a tourist so I know what goes on there. I have also lived permanently in Thailand away from the tourist areas since the end of 2003. Given my experience, I think I have quite an objective view. If you have only experienced places like Pattaya, Phuket and Koh Samui, that isn't experiencing Thailand.
Last updated: 28th April 2009
The circumstances in which a person is born pretty much dictate how they will live for the rest of their life. It's not fair and it's not nice but it's the reality of Thai society. A girl born into a small village community in a poor area of the country, regardless of how clever she is, doesn't have many options in life.
Working in the fields is back-breaking work and pays very little. The same applies to construction work which many Thai females do for a living. There are lots of menial jobs available throughout the country which also pay very little and involve a lot of hard work. Despite certain politicians' claims to be helping the poor, this is dubious. Real help would involve a huge investment in education and the setting up of businesses in rural Thailand in order to break the poverty trap. This isn't happening.
They make enormous sacrifices so they can earn money to take care of their families. They live a long way from where they come from, share squalid accommodation with other girls to keep their living expenses down, and many leave children in the care of their parents. There are powerful cultural reasons for doing this. People can't look to the state to support them in old age or if they don't work. Parents rely on their children to support them later in life and the cultural concept of bhun-khun reinforces this support. Bhun-khun is the debt of gratitude Thais owe their mothers for bringing them into the world and nurturing them and it can never be repaid. Repaying this debt continues for as long as the mother lives.
Last updated: 28th April 2009
Loneliness is a terrible feeling but it is a feeling many Western men experience. It can get to the point where a Western man will just leave his country of birth and move to a country where he believes he stands a better chance of meeting someone to end the loneliness. That's why many foreign men move to Thailand. Thai women, despite a lack of formal education for many, are very perceptive and very good at reading emotions.
Thai women instinctively know how to treat a man, and what strings to pull. Foreign men can get themselves into a real emotional mess when they get involved with Thai girls and, if the girl is the wrong type, they can lose a lot of money. It's extremely easy to get involved with a Thai girl and it's a good feeling for those feelings of loneliness to disappear, but if you are emotionally weak in Thailand it can be dangerous. I was emotionally weak when I came to Thailand but in order to survive I had to change.
The real danger with Thai girls Last updated: 14th November 2009
I could give countless first-hand examples, but I will give just one as an illustration. A couple of weeks ago (as I write) it was the Loy Gratong festival in Thailand. I went over to the local university so that I could watch hundreds of pretty Thai girls parading around wearing traditional costumes. Loy Gratong is the best day of the year for girl-watching in Thailand. I went alone but I met up with a large group of girls in their 20's. They all seemed genuinely interested in me, and one girl in particular never left my side. She acted as if I was the man she had been waiting for her whole life. Before I left to go home, she asked for my e-mail address. I wrote it down, along with my phone number. Two weeks later, and I have heard absolutely nothing from her. This type of thing has happened to me many, many times in Thailand. Whenever I meet a good-looking Thai girl, it doesn't matter how interested she may act, my expectations are never very high because 99 times out of a hundred nothing ever happens.
After returning home it is likely that I wouldn't be able to get her out of my head. All my thoughts would probably turn to Thailand, and I would try to devise a way to get back permanently in order to see this girl who was so crazy about me. This kind of thinking could lead a man to give up everything in order to return to Thailand. He might quit his job, sell his house, give up his life and burn all his bridges. But on his return to Thailand he would face immense disappointment, and by that time there might not be a way back to his old life. Why does this happen? It varies from girl to girl. Some girls like to play games with men as a way of boosting their self-esteem. Some do it to deceive men out of money.
If a girl shows a lot of kindness but you misinterpret that kindness, whose fault is it? I've asked myself this question many times. Was she misleading me, or was it just me reading something into a situation that didn't exist. The problem is cultural (as are most problems for foreigners in Thailand). Things that happen between two people in the West might mean one thing, but in Thailand the same things could mean something entirely different. Don't apply your own values to situations in Thailand, and don't misread signals. If you start to dabble with Thai girls, take your time. It takes a long time getting to know how Thais think and behave. If you are a fresh arrival and try to hurry things along, the chances are that everything will end in tears.
How much should I pay my Thai girlfriend each month? Last updated: 3rd June 2010 Nothing. Thai men don't pay their Thai girlfriends, and foreign men with foreign girlfriends don't pay their girlfriends. When foreign men living in Thailand hear foreign men living abroad asking this question, they know the man doesn't have a clue about Thailand. It isn't unusual to find Thai girls giving their Thai boyfriends money each month so the men can drink with their friends. The girls either work, or receive money transferred from stupid farangs abroad, which they then pass on to their unemployed, lazy boyfriends. By all means take care of the girl, and treat her, but there is no need to pay her a monthly salary. All that does is make her a live-in prostitute. What if you have a girlfriend who is working and you never see her because she works 15 hours a day, seven days a week, every day of the year in a beauty salon, or has another kind of low-paying job? This scenario isn't unusual. I've been there myself in the past. If you want her to quit working, and thus cut off her monthly salary, then it isn't unreasonable to provide some compensation. What you need to realise is that these girls earn very little each month. If she tells you that she normally earns Bt30,000 a month, and that is what she wants from you, then she is lying. And anyway, if you pay her to quit working she won't have to spend all her waking hours doing menial work. Why should you be expected to pay her the same amount for making her life a lot more relaxed and enjoyable? What if she makes a living selling her body and wants you to give her Bt60,000 or more to compensate for her loss in earnings as a prostitute. The answer to that one is that it is hardly a fair comparison. If she can see no difference between living an honest life and being a prostitute - apart from how much she earns each money - then I would not recommend being with such a girl. Thai girls talk to each other and they have all heard stories (maybe some are apocryphal) about how much foreign men give Thai girls to be their girlfriends. Some Thai girls seem to think they have won the lottery if a foreign man shows any interest in them and they get greedy. If you get involved with a Thai girl who starts making greedy demands for money each month, simply leave her and find another. As long as you are reasonably presentable and financially solvent - even if you aren't that rich - independent, self-supporting Thai girls are easy to find. If you meet the right Thai girl there won't be any demands for money. With the good girls there is almost a sense of pride in working and being able to take care of themselves. I know this from experience as well. Both Thai men and foreign men keep mia nois (mistresses) in Thailand. For example, there are lots of northern and northeastern girls living in southern Thailand who are kept by Malaysian and Singaporean men. The men pay for their accommodation, expenses, and give them an allowance. Some get motorbikes and some even get cars. All they need to do is make themselves available when the men are in town. However, this is completely different to having a girlfriend, and even this type of arrangement should be approached with lots of caution. I once heard of a girl who had four Malaysian and Singaporean men keeping her at the same time. She rented four apartments and owned four phones. She would live in the appropriate apartment and use the appropriate phone depending on which man was in town at the time. I also heard of a rich Singaporean guy who was keeping a very pretty young Thai girl. She kept making bigger and bigger demands, and he always gave her what he asked - a shop, a car, money, etc., etc. One time after he had given her a lot of money, she ran off with the Thai boyfriend who she had been seeing all the time she was being kept by her Singaporean sugar daddy. There's definitely a connection between demanding Thai girls and trust. The ones who demand the most are often the ones who can be trusted the least.
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