Thailand - Girls FAQ
- How much do you have to pay a girl to stop working as a prostitute?
When a Thai girl makes the decision to be a prostitute it is purely for financial reasons. The ones I've spoken to would be reluctant to accept less than they own earn, even if it means being able to lead a 'respectable' lifestyle. Respectability isn't important when you have a poor family in Isaan to take care of and need to put rice on the table. Figure on an amount that is about the same as they earn. If less, most will continue in the profession. If you aren't around and are paying them not to work expect them to continue working to boost their income. Most girls do. Also, it isn't unknown for Thai prostitutes to have several farang boyfriends at the same time, all of whom are sending money from abroad for her not to work while she continues working. Some of these girls must make more money per month than doctors.
The other way to answer this question is to say that if you are trying to make a wife or girlfriend out of a Thai prostitute you are a loser and you will probably end up losing the girl as well as a lot of money. Stay away from the bars, learn some Thai, and get to know some Thai nurses or teachers. You won't be able to have sex five minutes after meeting them but in the long run your chances of a successful relationship will be much higher.
- Why do old men visit Thailand?
Most men retain a healthy sex drive into old age - even if they need to use Viagra and the like. At the same time, they aren't attracted to women their own age but want young girls. In Western countries it would be impossible for the vast majority to get anywhere near a young, attractive girl. However, because there are so many people in Thailand living just above the poverty line there are young and attractive girls who are so desperate for money that having sex with an old man is something they will tolerate.
I need to stress that the only reason pretty young Thai girls have sex with old farangs is money. Despite their advanced years, intelligence, knowledge and experience many old foreign men completely delude themselves as soon as they get near to some young Thai flesh and then get themselves into all kinds of emotional and financial problems.
- Where do the most beautiful Thai girls live?
Stupid question. Every province has beautiful girls as well as ugly ones - just like anywhere else. On top of this there has been huge economic migration within the country with poor girls moving to other provinces to find work. The most beautiful girl I have ever met (in my eyes) came from Narathiwat. She was Buddhist but Narathiwat is mainly Muslim and it is one of the provinces that is almost completely neglected by farangs.
- Why are there so many Karaoke places in Thailand?
Thais do actually enjoy getting together and singing along Karaoke style but 'Karaoke' is also a popular euphemism for brothel.
You have to realise that there are two very different Thailands. Thais are very conscious of their image and want to portray a perfect image to the outside world. Thais will tell you that prostitution is illegal in Thailand and that brothels don't exist.
In 1993 Thailand banned Longman's Dictionary of English Language and Culture because it referred to Bangkok as 'a place where there are a lot of prostitutes'. Thais were furious.
The reality of course is very different. Prostitution is huge in Thailand and - in addition to the girls who actually work as prostitutes - lots of other people make a very good living from the trade. Money is everything to Thais and therefore anything that generates a lot of money will continue to flourish.
In order not to upset anyone's source of income while, at the same time, attempting to present a good image to the world, the prostitution industry uses lots of euphemistic terms to try to disguise what it actually is.
Huge buildings offering a hot bath and massage (aap op nuat) are quite conspicuous and they advertise their services to tourists because technically there is nothing illegal with these activities.
Everyone knows they are brothels but the only services being sold are legal. Anything else that happens is between two consenting adults and therefore not illegal.
When some Thai girls danced topless during the Songkran festival some Thais were outraged because it 'hurt the image of Thailand and distorted Songkran culture'.
There is nothing illegal about Karaoke shops but many 'Karaoke' shops don't have any Karaoke equipment. They are simply places where prostitutes wait for clients. They could be called anything but for some reason Thais have decided to use the euphemism Karaoke.
- Why do most Thai girls have sex for money?
'Most' Thai girls don't. This is a typical question from the type of farang who has only ever set foot in Pattaya or Patong and assumes that these places are representative of the whole country. They aren't. In fact, they are nothing like mainstream Thailand at all.
'Most' Thai girls are very respectable. A small percentage overall sell their bodies but these girls tend to go to where there are lots of paying customers. They're not stupid. In somewhere such as Pattaya it might seem like 'most' Thai girls sell their bodies but this certainly isn't the case.
Thai girls who do sell their bodies do so for one reason and one reason alone. Money. It starts off for many as the only way out of abject poverty for themselves and their families. The majority of Thai prostitutes originally come from poor areas in the north and northeast of the country. They have very little education and absolutely no career prospects.
For some it then turns into a lifestyle choice. After six months or so in the career they realise that it's actually quite easy and they can make far more money selling sex than they could doing anything else.
They don't have to wake up until midday; they spend the afternoons eating, shopping and making themselves look pretty; and in the evenings newly arrived farangs arrive who take the girls out for dinner, buy them things and then give them money.
All the girls need to do is have sex. Some have found that naive foreigners fall in love with them and even send money after they have gone home. Some girls realise that they can string along several foreigners at the same time, thereby increasing their income significantly. And these men are so stupid that the girls can get away with it for a long time.
So, no. It's not 'most' Thai girls and the ones who do it do it only for money.
- How much for a prostitute in Thailand?
I have had absolutely no interest in Thai girls who sell their bodies for many, many years. When you start to understand Thailand and Thai people you realise that the only girls worth getting involved with are definitely not those who sell sex.
However, I'm observant of my surroundings, I like talking to Thais, and I like asking questions.
There used to be a tatty old building close to where I live, adjacent to the local fresh market. It's been demolished now to make way for something a little more attractive.
In the evenings this derelict old place used to be home to a number of prostitutes who worked the lower end of the commercial sex trade. One offered me sex for Bt400 and because I am a farang she had probably doubled the regular price.
Also close by are a number of aap op nuat (bath and massage) places. Some of the girls are very attractive and can probably charge up to Bt3,000 for a session at the plusher places.
This is known as short-time. Once the man has finished his time is up.
There are also lots of girls who work long-time. They stay with their customer from when they meet until the next morning. I've been quoted prices ranging from Bt2,000 to Bt4,000.
There are many variables. More attractive girls charge more. Higher charges apply in places where there are a lot of foreign tourists, and also prices are subject to the market forces of supply and demand.
Many men take the approach of renting a prostitute who will act as a girlfriend for the duration of their vacation - the same type of arrangement as a rental car. You will need to pay for all her expenses, in addition to giving her a daily cash 'salary'. The daily payment is negotiable although the girls will already have a figure in mind.
If you meet a girl working in a bar and want to take her back to your hotel you will need to pay the bar a 'bar fine' to release her. I don't know how much this is these days but several years ago it used to be about Bt500. I'm sure there are plenty of other web sites where you can get all this information in great detail.
What you then pay her is negotiated between you and the girl.
I find myself writing this stuff but at the same time questioning myself why. My intention was never to turn this into just another 'sex in Thailand' web site.
My intention was to give foreign men with no experience of Thailand or Thai girls advice on how to meet decent Thai girls, not hookers. If you start dabbling with girls who sell their bodies you are virtually guaranteed to have problems.
- What's the truth about Thai girls?
I've tried to explain this over several pages but here it is in a nutshell.
Around 99% of Thai girls make wonderful girlfriends, wives and mothers. They're well brought up, polite, easy-going, trustworthy, loyal and honest.
So what's the problem and why are there so many stories from farang men about bad Thai girls?
Because 99% of farang men looking for a Thai girl get off the plane and head straight for the 1% of Thai girls they should stay away from.
Every single man claims the bargirl he has found is different to every other bargirl in Thailand (they never are); the men are too lazy and too impatient to do what it takes to meet good Thai girls; and they think they are cleverer than the people who try to give them advice.
- Can you find girls anywhere in Thailand?
Of course you can, you idiot. What? Did you think they were banned in some provinces? I have a serious warning here. If you are stupid enough to ask such questions don't even think about visiting Thailand because the girls who make a living preying on stupid foreign men will eat people like you for breakfast.
Note: When I read this again after writing it I realised some people could think I was being nasty. I'm really not. Year after year, basically good men go to Thailand to try to find good wives and partners. Their intentions are good but they get it hopelessly wrong. All I'm trying to do is to prevent a few more flies going into the spider's trap.
When this guy asked about finding 'girls' I think he meant Thai girls who sell their bodies and not all Thai girls. If that was the case, that is the first and biggest mistake. If that's the route you take when you go looking for a Thai girl you are asking for trouble and you will find trouble.
- Are Thai girls only interested in money?
The ones working as bargirls in the tourist resorts preying on gullible foreigners: yes. (Why do you think they are there?) The majority: no.
The wealth gap in Thailand is huge, with a small minority of the population extremely rich (even by international standards) but the vast majority struggling to make ends meet. Thailand has no social welfare system, as such, and life for the poor can be very difficult.
It would be understandable if all the girls were greedy for money but they aren't. For example, there are thousands of nurses and teachers who work hard - after studying hard - for a salary of less than Bt10,000 a month.
They perform a critical role in society and - earning the meagre salaries they do - you couldn't exactly describe them as being greedy, or only interested in money.
My advice to foreign men who go to Thailand looking to meet Thai girls is firstly not to look. Study and observe the language and cultural behaviour. After you understand a little, meet some nurses and teachers. It's not difficult, but it may take a little time at first.
Once you've met one, you will meet others who are the girl's friends. You will soon start to see that there are lots of available Thai girls who are trustworthy and who would make perfect wives and partners. They appreciate the additional security and comfort that money brings but they're certainly not only interested in money and they're not looking for a foreign man to financially support their entire extended family.
But this isn't what most foreign men do. They think they are being clever by taking the short route, and they impatiently make a beeline straight to one of the tourist resorts. They always believe the bargirl they meet is the one bargirl in Thailand who is different to every other bargirl in Thailand. I've heard this many times.
A mixture of arrogance and ignorance causes them to ignore all advice and they only start to see the error of their ways when everything goes horribly wrong.
It's up to you. These days I have no sympathy whatsoever with foreign men who get scammed and fleeced by bad Thai girls. As far as I'm concerned, in most cases foreign men end up getting exactly what they deserve.
- How much is a Thai girlfriend per month?
I once spoke to a Laotian girl living in Thailand who was being kept as a mia noi by a Thai man. She received Bt20,000 per month in addition to a place to live and other bits and pieces. I've heard similar figures from farang and Malaysian men who rent Thai girls.
Do it if you just need a short-term sex toy but if you are looking for a genuine, rewarding relationship with a Thai girl who you can trust and who doesn't see you solely as an ATM, I would advise going down a very different route.
If you run into problems later on what did you expect if you treat a human being the same way as you regard a rental car?
- Should I hire a private detective to keep tabs on my Thai girlfriend?
The most important thing in a relationship is trust. If you have to even think about hiring a private detective it means that you don't trust the girl so you have already lost. If you have no trust in her, finish the relationship immediately and find another girl who you can trust.
If you pay someone to spy on her the news probably won't be good and all you will be doing is paying another farang to drink in bars and associate with bargirls.
These private detective agencies are for losers.
- Can old men have sex in Thailand?
Some of these questions are great. They keep me amused for hours.
As I teach my students, 'Can' questions have different meanings. Are you asking for permission? If so, I don't believe there are any laws in Thailand to stop old men having sex. And even if there were, when was the last time a law stopped anyone doing anything in Thailand?
Is it an ability question? If so, you should know yourself whether you are able to have sex or not.
Maybe this old man really meant to ask whether old foreign men can pay money to have sex with prostitutes in Thailand. Yes, they can. No problem at all.
The only thing the girls selling their bodies are interested in is money. They don't care how old you are, how ugly you are, how bad you smell, or how frail your health might be.
There have been a few occasions in the past when unhealthy farangs existing on cocktails of heart drugs, blood pressure drugs, Viagra and alcohol end up taking their final breath while performing press ups on top of a Thai prostitute one-third their age.
It's not a bad way to go but the experience doesn't do the Thai girl involved much good.
- Why do men cheat with prostitutes in Thailand?
Prostitutes are everywhere. It's easy, cheap, and - unless you're very stupid - there isn't much chance of getting caught.
Whether or not your conscience will allow you to live with yourself (as well as living with your wife and family) while cheating with a prostitute depends entirely on your own set of moral values.
- Would a Thai university girl offer sex if you paid for her study?
Some farangs seem to think that every single Thai female has her price, and that if you offer a Thai girl (any Thai girl) enough money she will drop her knickers for you.
This is absolutely ridiculous.
The wealth gap in Thailand is huge. Many Thais are very poor and most girls offering sex for money come from the poorest sector of society. It's the only option in life the girls have to escape abject poverty and to take care of their families.
These girls usually have a limited education which doesn't extend to university. The majority of university students come from families that can afford to pay for their education. Offering the average Thai university student money for sex would be just as much an insult as it would be to offer a Western girl money for sex.
I worked at a large Thai university for about four years and met many female students. If a farang were to offer them money in exchange for sex they would be horrified.
I've heard stories of men who target university students in Bangkok and no doubt there will always be a few girls willing to sell their bodies to supplement their incomes, but this is far from normal.
There are lots of prostitutes in Thailand. If you want sex in exchange for money they aren't difficult to find. The big mistake is to assume that all Thai girls are the same. They aren't.
- Are Thai girls easy to get?
The bad ones, yes. Extremely easy. Just walk into any beer bar in any tourist area. The good ones, no. Nothing worthwhile having in life comes easily. Unless you are very lucky, meeting a good Thai girl who is reasonably attractive and still single takes a considerable amount of effort, time and patience.
Thai men aren't stupid and snap up the good girls very quickly. The majority of girls making themselves easily available to farangs tend to be problematic and interested in farangs for one reason, and one reason alone. By the way, it's not your film star looks or your magnetic personality.
- How do I meet a tart in Bangkok?
Some of the questions people bang into Google are almost beyond belief. Meetings tarts in Bangkok has never been a pastime I've actively pursued but I would imagine that the area around Nana Plaza would be a good place for this genius to begin.
Failing that, there seem to be plenty of specialist websites for people with the same interest.
- Why do single men go to Thailand?
Many men - especially those of a certain age - have physical and emotional needs that cannot be satisfied in their own countries. There are many reasons for this, but if you are a foreign man thinking about going to Thailand you won't need anyone to explain what they are.
Due to economic difficulties, there are many young and attractive girls in Thailand who would consider a relationship with a foreign man because of the financial support he can provide to them and their families.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing because all relationships are based on mutual benefit. However, if you are past your prime never believe that the relationship is about anything other than money. The girls may tell you other things but if you don't provide money the relationship won't last very long.
- Do Thai girls take to life when they come to live in the UK?
I know Thai girls living in the UK who absolutely love it and never want to return to Thailand. They are full of vitality and make the most of life.
On the other hand, I know Thai girls in Thailand who simply wouldn't survive outside of Thailand. It depends very much on the individual girl.
- Can Thai girls be trusted?
Yes, if you get involved with the right ones. No, if you don't. Read and follow the warnings and advice of those who have more experience than you do.
- Where do I find poor Thai girls?
This is an easy one. "Where do I find rich Thai girls?" would have been a much more difficult question to answer. Rich Thai girls aren't generally interested in farangs unless you are under 25, rich, and you bear a resemblance to their favourite Western pop singer or actor.
In most cases the only attraction to farangs is money and this is because the girl comes from a family living just above the poverty line. You need to be exceptionally lucky to win a real lottery but in reality the closest a poor Thai girl can get to winning the lottery is to meet a farang man who will take care of her and her extended family for the rest of their days.
The bottom line is that you don't have to worry about meeting poor Thai girls because they will make a point of meeting you.
- How do Thai men put up with Thai women?
This is one of the best questions I've seen. Thai girls can give Western men so much grief (if you meet the wrong ones) that men may rightly ask how Thai men put up with them.
For a start, Thai men know exactly which girls will be a headache and which ones won't. They nab the good girls for themselves while the girls are still very young and then won't let them leave.
There is also a lot of fear and intimidation. If you have ever taught in Thailand you will know that Thai students are afraid of Thai teachers but have no fear of farang teachers.
It's the same with Thai girls and Thai men. The girls wouldn't play up with Thai men the same way some do with Western men, basically because of fear. We all tend to be more afraid of our own kind.
Western men don't generally knock girls around but I've spoken to several Thai girls who have taken beatings at the hands of Thai men. I've also seen the bruises.
I don't advocate for one moment that you should follow suit but after living in the country for several years and hearing lots of stories I've seen that there is a big difference with the way Thai and foreign men treat girls.
The fear of Thai men that Thai girls have is fully justified. There was a recent murder very close to where I live. The victim was a young female art teacher. Apparently she had been messing around with several men but one of them thought he was her exclusive boyfriend. He found out what she had been up to and planned his revenge.
They went to one of the small love hotels that are euphemistically known in Thailand as 'resorts'. These places can be rented by the hour. The two of them had sex and then he slit her throat.
The girl who I really wanted to marry had been in an unsatisfactory relationship for several years. She saw little of her boyfriend because of his job, they fought and argued frequently, and he had also been unfaithful.
After a year of doing my best to convince her to marry me I eventually realised that she would never leave her boyfriend and that I was wasting my time. She wanted to leave him but she was terrified of what he might do if she told him she wanted to end the relationship. Fear is a powerful emotion.
One day I will write more about Thai men.
- How much does a Thai girl make in a month?
With any generalised question there is never one answer and there are always lots of exceptions.
Girls working in rice fields or doing menial jobs (maids, restaurant serving staff) probably only earn about Bt4,000 per month. Qualified teachers and nurses, etc, don't make much more - less than Bt10,000 a month but this can be supplemented by working extra hours or doing another job.
Jobs in places like Bangkok and Phuket tend to pay better with salaries of around Bt18,000 to Bt20,000.
The income of prostitutes varies. Girls catering to the local market - sexually frustrated teenagers and lowpaid Thai workers, etc - don't earn much. On the other hand, better looking girls catering to foreigners and Hi-So Thais can demand Bt4,000 a time or more.
If they keep Bt2,000 for themselves and service several men a day they can earn a significant income. The girls working at the aap op nuat places (bath and massage with sex) might work 12-16 hour shifts and they can get through a lot of men in that time. Their salaries make the average foreign English teacher in Thailand look very poor.
Many girls also receive money from naive foreign men abroad (sometimes from several men at the same time), in addition to their regular income.
Girls working as prostitutes get addicted to the money. If you want them to stop, they will want an equivalent income from you and that could be a lot of money. The moral - and there are many reasons for this - is not to get involved with prostitutes, but many foreign men continue to do so.
- Why are so many Thai girls single?
They're not. And neither are there far more females in Thailand than males.
These are two very common misconceptions among tourists visiting Thailand, and I used to think exactly the same until I started living in Thailand.
It's because tourists spend their time in tourist resorts and these places aren't representative of Thailand. They are entirely artificial.
It would be the same as someone spending a couple of weeks at Disneyworld and then asking why so many Americans walk around dressed as cartoon characters. They don't.
A large part of the population in Thailand live just above the poverty line and these people don't have any opportunities in life to better themselves. The way that Thai society works is very unfair. Well, actually there is one opportunity but it's only open to girls.
If a young girl from a poor family is attractive and willing to sell her body, she can make good money in the tourist resorts. She can take care of her family and this is a very honourable thing to do in Thailand, no matter how she makes the money.
For this reason thousands of poor young girls flock to the main farang tourist resorts every year where the neon is bright and the streets are paved with gold.
Consequently, if tourists only spend their time in these places they see lots more Thai females than males. And of course, all the girls are single. To say otherwise wouldn't be good for business.
Most have boyfriends, although some have separated from their Thai boyfriends. After talking to many poor Isaan girls I have heard the same story from so many.
The girl gets pregnant by her Thai boyfriend in her teens or early 20's. The man then does a runner, leaving the girl alone with the baby. She then goes off to Pattaya or somewhere to earn money while her parents look after the baby and she sends money back each month.
Regardless of how young the girl is, how innocent she seems, and what she tells you, she will have a Thai boyfriend in the background and/or a lot of history.
When you get outside the tourist resorts you will find that any girl worth being with will already have a Thai boyfriend. The ones that are genuinely single are normally single because Thai men aren't interested, and if Thai men aren't interested then farang men are unlikely to be interested either.
On the surface Thailand looks like the perfect bachelor paradise. There are pretty girls everywhere who pay you a lot of attention and none of them have boyfriends (according to the girls).
After you get to know Thailand you realise that absolutely nothing is how it appears on the surface and the story with the girls is no exception. This is why so many foreign men fall into the trap so easily and so quickly and then have lots of problems later.
- If you get a Thai girl pregnant can they do anything legally?
I'm no legal expert but I don't think so, especially if the man returns to his home country. The Thai men who run off when their girlfriends get pregnant certainly don't provide any form of childcare allowance.
Thailand is so completely different to the West. There is no sense of responsibility or liability. The litigation that exists (and that has reached extreme levels) in other countries just doesn't exist in Thailand.
It's not right, but neither is what happens in Western countries right either. Somewhere in the middle would be preferable.
Buddhist doctrine tells us that whatever happens to us in life is a consequence of our own previous actions. Basically, it's your own fault. In other countries there is a strong blame culture where people try to blame anything that happens to them on other people.
These two ways of looking at things are completely polarised.
Thai culture related to motherhood makes Thai girls want to have children very much. Many are also very keen to have children fathered by farangs.
By having a child with a farang it is more likely the foreign man will stick around to give her the financial support she needs. Also, many actors, actresses and Thai celebrities are look kreung (half-child or mixed race).
When Thai and Western genes get mixed together some very nice things start to happen. Mixed race children are normally fair-skinned and very attractive. These qualities give anyone in Thailand a big advantage because fair skin and good looks are highly prized in the Thai value system.
However, I digress. I could be wrong but I am not aware of any Child Support Agency or equivalent in Thailand.
If you do get a Thai girl pregnant, then what you decide to do depends on the circumstances and what your conscience will allow you to do.
It has happened to me twice. The first girl got pregnant without consulting with me because she wanted me to marry her. It wasn't a good thing for her to do but I would have married her and taken care of the baby. However, she lost the baby during pregnancy and our relationship subsequently ended, due mainly to a lack of trust on my part.
The next girl who became pregnant is now my wife, but the circumstances were completely different and I knew full well what we were getting into. We now have a gorgeous daughter as a result.
- How much can I make selling my wife into Thai prostitution?
I kid you not. A gentleman from the United States living in Greenville, North Carolina really did plug this question into the Google search engine. I haven't a clue, but if I decide to sell my wife I'll let you know. I know the economy in the United States is suffering at the moment but I didn't realise it was quite that bad.
- Do Thai girls have sex?
Really. I'm not making this stuff up.
Over the years I've exchanged e-mails with some very intelligent people about Thai girls, including at least one doctor. Even clever people get caught out occasionally.
If your level of intelligence is such that you have to ask questions like this, my best suggestion is not to even board the plane. As soon as you come into contact with a mercenary Thai bargirl she's going to take you for all you've got ... and probably a bit more.
Of course Thai girls have sex. The difference between the girls is what motivates them to have sex. This is the difference between meeting a girl who you can have a great relationship with, or just being another stupid farang who gets ripped off by a greedy golddigger.
- I'm 16, can I get a prostitute in Thailand?
Once a Thai girl has decided she will sell her body, then money becomes her overriding obsession. I have seen pretty Thai bargirls with the most hideous fat farang slobs imaginable.
My answer to this teenager from the United States with the raging hormones is that it doesn't matter if you are 9 or 90, or even if you resemble the Elephant Man's ugly brother, the only requirement for a Thai prostitute is a couple of thousand Baht - maybe not even that if you aren't fussy either.
- Why does my Thai girlfriend always lie?
Where did you meet her and what was her motivation for entering into a relationship with you? At a guess I would think she is from a poor background and only entered into a relationship with a farang to support her family.
That is an honourable thing for her to do and if she has to lie to you - a mere insignificant foreigner - in order to be successful it is of no consequence. In her mind, and in accordance with Thai society, she is making a lot of merit by supporting her family. So, she lied to a rich farang. What does that matter?
If you want a Thai girlfriend who doesn't lie, find one whose motivation for entering into the relationship isn't purely money.
- Do Thai girls live alone when they have a foreign boyfriend?
This is yet another one of those questions that is impossible to answer for every girl in Thailand. Every case is different.
If a Thai girl has a foreign boyfriend then I assume she is single. Good Thai girls who are single will often live with their parents, or maybe with one or more female friends.
If she's not a good girl she might live with her Thai boyfriend, Thai husband or foreign boyfriend. What's your gut feeling?
If you met her in a bar and she does things that make you suspect her, and/or you are thinking about hiring a private detective to track her, just forget about her and find a girl you can trust. You'll save yourself a lot of problems in the future.
- How do I meet rich Thai girls?
Be a good person in this life and hope that in the next one you come back as a good looking, white-skinned male born into a wealthy Thai-Chinese family.
- In Thailand do most girls speak English?
Most Thais speak and read English, some a lot better than others. English ability and usage can tell you a lot about the girl.
For Thai girls who sell sex and make a living preying on naive foreigners, speaking English is a necessity because the vast majority of foreign tourists speak absolutely no Thai.
They can communicate well - in many cases better than Thai PhD students - because they talk with foreigners all the time. However, what they speak is 'Bargirl English'. It's not very pleasant to the ears and they use vocabulary that only bargirls use.
For example, a man who chases lots of girls would normally be described as 'jao choo' or called a 'girl tiger' (seua pooying). Bargirls would say, "He butterfly," which I have never heard outside of the bars.
It's unfortunate that the girls you should be avoiding are the ones that are normally the easiest to communicate with.
If a good Thai girl has spent time abroad she will normally speak very good English. However, if a Thai girl comes from a family that can afford to send her abroad she isn't going to be the kind of Thai girl who is interested in farangs.
Poor girls who haven't had much of an education and who haven't worked in bars may not know any English at all.
The Thai education system is poor and many students who have 'studied' English for 12 years or more finish their education unable to speak any English. My wife is a good example.
If you have lived in Thailand for a while and met different girls from different backgrounds, the way theu speak English and what they say can tell you a lot.
- Why do poor girls sleep with men for money?
The poor in Thailand are desperately poor and they need to eat just as you and I do. The way that Thai society is structured means that some people have absolutely no opportunities in life to earn a liveable wage, and there is no state welfare system.
The only way many poor girls can earn decent money with which to feed themselves and their families is to sleep with men.
It starts off as a result of the need to survive. Unfortunately, after about six months the girls get hardened and greedy. They realise how soft and naive foreign men are, and they realise how easy it is to make a lot of money without doing any work.
When they reach this level, greed takes over and this is when they become dangerous. Money is their obsession and they don't care what they have to do in order to get it.
They will lie, deceive and even ruin some men's lives. They don't care. They are very good at their craft and a lot of foreign men will be taken in with the lies and deceits. This is why foreign men who go to Thailand to meet girls should be very careful and should avoid bargirls at all costs.
- How do I get to know real Thai girls?
They're all real of course, but I think I understand the question. I maybe would have said normal Thai girls, in the sense they do normal work rather than selling sex. Of course, Thai girls who sell sex are still normal.
Here's what not to do. Don't get off the plane, check in to your hotel, and then go to find the nearest bar with bar girls. Give yourself plenty of time and stay away from the tourist resorts.
If you want to find a life partner, you aren't going to be very successful if you opt for a two week vacation in Pattaya. That course will lead to disaster.
Take a leave of absence from work and plan to spend several months in Thailand - maybe a year.
Enrol in a Thai language course and start to learn the language. Read lots about Thailand. Act naturally, be yourself, and don't act like a sex tourist. Realise that everything you do will be observed by someone.
Most importantly, don't look for girls. That reeks of desperation and will put girls off. Plenty of Thai girls will seek you out. If a girl is interested in you but you aren't interested in her, just be a friend.
Make it clear by your actions that you aren't interested in a relationship but be her friend. She will have lots of friends and you will meet then through her.
Since I've been married and out of the market I have met some great girls in the most unlikely places. Our daughter had to spend a lot of time at the hospital after being born and I highly recommend Thai nurses.
They can be difficult to meet because they're always working but once you meet one, you then meet others.
There can't be many places in the world where it is so easy to meet so many great girls. I will never understand why so many foreign men make an immediate beeline for the ones that cause the most problems.
- How do you get a Thai girl pregnant?
Yes, really. Someone from Israel asked Google this question. This is another 'please don't get on the plane' candidate. You'll really be safer if you stay at home.
- Are Bangkok girls really girls?
The vast majority, yes. However, I don't think there is another country in the world with as many transsexuals as Thailand. There are men walking around dressed as girls absolutely everywhere. There are also qite a few girls walking around who look like men. They are known as 'Toms' in Thailand, as in 'Tomboys'.
The men dressed as girls are known as ga-tur-ee in Thailand (often spelt 'katoey' in English). Many farangs just say 'ladyboy'.
Some are small-framed and just about pass themselves off as girls. Others are huge and don't fool anyone. They are known as ga-tur-ee kwai in Thai, which translates to 'buffalo ladyboys', but don't let them hear you say this or they will probably beat you up.
The only ladyboys I have seen who I think are girls are the ones on TV in the 'Miss Tiffany' contests. The ones I see in real life are obviously men and I would never be fooled.
You need to be a little careful, but my view is that if you find a ladyboy attractive it can't say much for your taste in women.
- How do I know if my Thai girlfriend has a husband or boyfriend?
This isn't always easy. I didn't find out that my first Thai girlfriend had been married until 10 months after meeting her. A farang I met years ago told me he had been living with a Thai girl for a long time when one day her husband knocked on the door and asked for his wife back. He had always thought that she was single but obviously that wasn't the case.
Lots of poorer girls get into relationships in their teens. Later on they need money and many go to work in places with lots of farangs. The girls always maintain that they are single but many aren't.
Even if they want to leave their boyfriend, many Thai men won't accept this and hang on to the girls as if they own them. It can be a big problem.
This is one of the reasons why there are so many people (often expat farangs) acting as private detectives in Thailand. You can go down this route but it will be expensive and you could find out other ways.
Friends of the girl will often tell you things that the girl won't. My first girlfriend got a passport so that we could travel outside the country and her passport said 'Mrs'. However, checking documentation doesn't guarantee the truth.
My wife still uses the title naang saaw (Miss) even though she is married. She decided to do this and keep her maiden surname instead of going through the hassle of changing everything to my name.
With problems such as this you really need to listen to your gut feelings and act on them. If you are getting serious about a girl, you will be spending a lot of time with her. If you are spending a lot of time with her and she is already in a relationship it will be very difficult for her to carry on without making you suspicious.
If you are getting serious about her from a distance without spending time together, you need to think very carefully about what you are doing and be careful. Always take your time and never rush into anything with a Thai girl. The risks are enormous.
- Do Thai girls like Singaporean men?
Instead of Singaporean, insert any country or any other adjective such as fat, ugly, old, etc. The answer will be yes. The only exception will probably be 'poor'.
The culture of looking after, and being looked after, is very strong in Thailand. The Thai phrase is doo lair and many relationships in Thailand are built on a system of patronage where there are mutual benefits for both clients and patrons.
Many poor Thais will actively seek out a patron in life who will take care of them. For many poor Thai girls, there is nothing more important.
Apart from spoiled rich girls in Bangkok, most Thai girls care little about a man's age, appearance, or where he comes from. The only matter of any importance is whether he will be prepared to take care of her. With most Isaan girls, this taking care of aspect will also be extended to their families.
Taking care, of course, means taking care financially. It thus follows that if you have the money and are prepared to take care of a poor girl and her family it doesn't matter where you come from, what you look like, or anything else.
- Do Thai girls just sleep with you?
Thais use the English word 'free' because there is no Thai word to describe the concept of giving away something for nothing. To do so would be a very strange concept in Thailand.
Do Thai girls enjoy sex? Yes, most do ... very much. Will they engage in sex purely for the physical pleasure it brings them? I've never met one.
If a Thai girl has made the decision to sell her body, engaging in sex is simply what she does for money. Thai prostitutes can go through the motions of having sex with virtually no physical, mental or spiritual attachment.
If the girl isn't a prostitute and engages in sex with you, it is likely that she will want a lot more than money. This gesture is probably because she wants to marry you and have you look after her for the rest of her life.
I'm married now but in all my years as a single man in Thailand I never once experienced 'no strings attached' sex. On the few occasions when I thought I did, I was then hounded because the girl wanted a relationship.
Many poor Thai girls are so desperate to have a relationship with a foreigner so that they have a patron who will look after them and their families, that they will go to great lengths to snare a foreign man. Getting pregnant is a favourite technique. It happened to me once but I had a lucky escape.
If you do get a Thai girl pregnant there is no obligation to stick around, but men with a conscience would normally find it very difficult just to leave the girl and the baby.
The bottom line is that Thai girls don't just sleep with you. Nothing in life comes free; especially in Thailand. If you simply want sex and no commitment, stick with the prostitutes. They can be found everywhere in Thailand and the sex is simply a financial transaction. After it is finished you both get showered, dressed, and go your own way.
If you start having sex with a Thai girl who isn't a prostitute but you have no plans to make any serious commitment to her, expect some big problems sooner or later. She is only having sex with you because she expects commitment and a serious relationship.
- Are Thai hookers actually good looking?
As a tourist to Thailand many years ago, I thought that many of them were good looking. Everything in life is relative and compared to the British girls I was used to, the slim and pretty Thai girls looked very attractive.
After I came to live in Thailand my standards gradually went up. Whenever I visit places now with lots of Thai prostitutes (BTW, everyone knows who they are and what do) I see very few that I would consider attractive.
Nothing worthwhile having in life comes easily, and the Thai girls that are easy to get don't rate very highly in my opinion.
But, as I said, it depends who you compare them with. If you've just arrived from a country where there are lots of fat, unattractive girls they probably will seem attractive. If you've been living in Thailand for a while and understand what a truly beautiful Thai girl is like, you probably won't find them attractive.
- Why do you have to pay for a girl to leave her bar in Thailand?
It's not her bar. She is a prostitute and to earn a living she must meet and sleep with customers. Most foreign tourists looking for Thai prostitutes go to find them in beer bars. It is therefore in her interest to be in a bar because this is where she is most likely to get customers.
However, there is a two-way thing going on with her and the bar owner. There are many beer bars in the tourist resorts and the bar owner makes a profit selling beer, which he buys cheaply, to tourists for much higher prices.
The men buying beers are attracted to bars with lots of prostitutes and therefore it is in the bar owner's interest to have lots of girls in his bar to attract men.
As each girl leaves the bar with a customer, the bar becomes slightly less attractive to foreign tourists. This is where the 'bar fine' comes into play. It's compensation for the bar owner losing one of his assets. Years ago, during my time spent in Thailand as a tourist, it used to be Bt500. I really don't have a clue how much it is these days.
- Can Pattaya bargirls be trusted?
- Is it easy to sleep with girls in Phuket?
If, when you say 'girls', you are referring to bargirls (prostitutes), and if you have a couple of thousand Baht in your pocket, yes. It's extremely easy.
- Would you sleep with your boyfriend if he had been to Thailand?
This was an interesting question, and it obviously came from a farang girl. Why did your boyfriend go to Thailand without you? Did he tell you it was to play golf? Perhaps he wanted to learn more about Thai culture, or he wanted to 'find himself' by retreating to a forest monastery for a few weeks?
You know your boyfriend better than anyone else so you are in a better position to answer the question than anyone else.
However, if you are suspicious enough to be Googling this kind of question then he probably wasn't playing golf, learning Thai, or meditating. Don't be naive.
- Do Thai girls know they are beautiful?
This was an interesting question. There are the girls who think they are beautiful. They spend all their time running their fingers through their own hair, beautifying themselves, and looking at their own reflections in mirrors. Most girls who act like this aren't beautiful, they just think they are.
On the other hand, many Thai girls have a serious lack of self-confidence and quite often the genuinely pretty girls don't see any beauty in themselves. They just see lots of beauty in other people.
I've had quite a few problems with Thai girls who think they are beautiful. They think they are nature's gift to men and that the world should revolve around them. In my opinion, these girls are best avoided.
The best Thai girls are the ones who don't think they are beautiful. They are very often the most beautiful of all.
- Is it good if your Thai girlfriend wants you to meet her parents?
Not necessarily, and you won't need to know a Thai girl for very long before you get invited to meet the parents. This normally means a trip to rural Isaan. I've done it myself.
It could be a genuine gesture that she is serious about marriage. On the other hand, quite a few poor Thai girls and their families only have one thing in mind, and that is to get as much money as they can out of farang men.
The 'con' in con-artist is short for confidence. The most effective way to cheat people is to get their confidence first.
Taking a farang man back to meet the parents is a very effective way of gaining the man's confidence.
Something I've heard from other men is that the purpose of the trip home to meet the parents is for the parents to give the man their list of demands, should he wish to marry the girl.
This happened to one man who wrote to me. He couldn't afford what the parents were demanding and was as good as thrown out of the house.
Thai girls are experts at gaining your confidence and getting money out of you. Don't think you can outdo them. I've been contacted by highly intelligent doctors who have been scammed by poor, uneducated, rural Thai girls.
Take things slowly and don't take anything at face value. Don't be overly cynical but remain wary and be on your guard. These girls are good at what they do. Very good.
- Why do Thai girls live far away from their families?
Not all do, but it may seem like this to many foreign men for good reasons. Most girls who live far from their families are from Isaan, and the girls that most foreign men get involved with also come from Isaan.
The Isaan region is the poorest in Thailand but it contains about one-third of the entire population.
The soil in Isaan isn't good for agriculture and there are no beautiful seas, beaches or islands to attract tourists as there are in the south. The region is landlocked.
There is little state welfare in Thailand and people can't survive without earning money. Many Isaan natives have been forced to move to other parts of Thailand to find work.
Before I was married I used to go for lots of massages. Most of the massage girls were from Isaan. Most of the bargirls in the tourist resorts who make themselves available to foreign men are from Isaan. Many construction workers and low-paid factory workers are from Isaan. Many Bangkok taxi drivers are from Isaan.
People from Isaan aren't afraid of hard work and don't grumble. My first Thai girlfriend worked in a salon and said the people from Isaan doing foot massage were very good workers. In contrast, she said that southern Thais were often lazy or thought that certain work was above them.
When I was having lots of massages I made a point of speaking with the girls to find out about their lives. Every one I spoke to seemed to have the same story.
The girl had had a Thai boyfriend when she was in her teens and then got pregnant. Her boyfriend run off as soon as he heard the good news. With a baby to feed and no income, she was forced to go to a tourist area at the other end of the country to earn money.
You find with most of these girls that they have children who are being looked after by their parents or siblings back home. The girls work and send money home to support their families.
It's a difficult life. No woman wants to be separated from her children but many poor Thai girls have no choice. They keep in touch using their mobile phones and their phones also have photos of their children.
Thai bar girls and massage girls don't usually advertise the fact that they have children at home, but if you ask whether they have children you will often be told yes.
If you speak to Thai girls living far from home you will normally find they are from Isaan. It is the opposite for many southern Thai girls. They like to stay close to their families and because the economy is better in the south they have more choice about where they live.
- How do I find a job for my Thai prostitute girlfriend in Singapore?
I would think that Orchard Towers or Geylang are your best bets. Remember not to be completely honest when you fill out the bit about occupation on her immigration form. The staff at Singapore immigration aren't always the most understanding of people.
- How much does a Thai girl need to live in her village?
It never ceases to amaze me how little money Thais can live on. There are many Thais who would regard Bt10,000 a month as a good salary. Rice workers might earn Bt100 a day, yet they can live on such paltry amounts. I'm not saying they can live luxuriously, but they can survive.
The amount needed to live is tiny. However, there is a big difference between how much is needed to live and how much is needed to live how she would like to live.
If the girl can find a farang willing to support her by sending money, she will be thinking about the latter. If you divide the amount she tells you by 10, you will be getting close to what is actually needed to live.
- Are there more women than men in Thailand?
At birth, no, more males are born in Thailand than females. After the age of 15, yes there are more females than males, but not that many more. Thai men are highly adept at killing themselves and other people in road accidents and this skill affects the gender balance of the population. See: A lot more females than males?
- How do I meet village girls from Isaan?
Book yourself a vacation to Pattaya.
- Are Thai girls slags?
This question must have come from the UK. How I miss British colloquialisms. According to the Urban Dictionary, the definition of slag is: "An individual who cares not for relationships beyond the realm of the sexual, these people sleep with many partners not caring about anything save for the moment of climax."
In that case, Thai girls are not slags. The vast majority are highly conservative and do not enter into intimate relationships lightly. The prostitutes (of which there are many in the country) have sex for money, not for sexual pleasure. Neither of these cases fit the dictionary definition of 'slag'.
- Why do so many Thai girls have sex with foreigners?
- Can a Thai bar girl mess with a man's head?
Not just the bar girls. All Thai girls seem to have this ability. It's one of the things that makes them so dangerous. Even the poorest, lowest educated rural rice farm girls can mess with the heads of seemingly wealthy, intelligent and streetwise foreign men.
- Should I stay away from Thai girls?
Should you stay away from fast cars? If you're careful and know what you're doing they can be a lot of fun. If you don't know what you're doing and you're not careful they can be very dangerous.
It's the same with Thai girls.
The problem is that all men believe they are the greatest drivers in the world and all foreign men who come to Thailand believe they can handle the girls.
The male ego is probably more dangerous to foreign men in Thailand than the girls themselves.
- Where are the most whores in Thailand?
I have no statistics to answer this highly intelligent, sensitive and considered question, but if I had to guess I would hazard a guess that Pattaya is probably the most likely location.
- How do I attract Thai girls?
It depends on the type of girl. With the girls worth knowing all you need to do is behave like a mature adult, and not like the average Thai male.
To attract the girls who you should really be avoiding, simply take on the appearance of a naive farang who has just arrived in the country and grin a lot. Wai at everyone, including the bar girls. Conspicuous displays of wealth and flashing around large amounts of cash will do the trick. Aftershave resembling the smell of freshly printed bank notes will also help.
- How are women treated in Thailand?
A farang I know living in Thailand estimates that Thai society is about 50 years behind the Western world. How were Western women treated 50 years ago? There has been no big women's movement, and political correctness never made it to Thailand.
Thailand is still very much a man's world and men hold all the important positions in business and government. Please don't write to tell me that Thailand has a female prime minister. If you don't understand why Thailand has a female prime minister and you don't know who really runs the country, you don't understand Thailand.
Despite all this, the country is light years ahead of places such as India and China, where rape and female infanticide are major problems. Rape is a problem in Thailand as well, but not to the same extent as India.
It also seems to depend on social class. Educated Thai women, especially doctors and dentists, get a lot of respect. Unfortunately, the low class women don't get quite the same respect from their low class partners.
From an early age it is obvious in Thailand that males are given special privileges. The reasons are cultural and related to the Thai belief system. Making merit is of the utmost importance to Thais and the way Thais do this is through monks, who of course are male. Thus males have a very important place in Thai society.
Thai women are determined and headstrong. Some do get knocked around by their Thai boyfriends and husbands, but generally they won't accept being abused or treated badly.
Thailand is a man's world, but the women do an awful lot of hard work. The men are fully aware of this and do give women respect, otherwise they know that a lot of things wouldn't get done. I have also heard that because Thai men are so irresponsible with money, many Thai women manage the household finances.
Thai women themselves regard men who they don't know as being very dangerous, and for good reason. There are a lot of rogue males in the country and women travelling around on their own should be very careful. Thai males may respect women they know personally, but there are those who think nothing of abusing girls they don't know.
If you are a foreign man and get involved with a Thai girl, don't expect a smiling, subservient, demure little creature who will attend to all of your needs and allow you to do whatever you want.
They expect to be treated in the same way as you would treat a Western woman.
- Are there a lot of girls in Thailand?
Contrary to the opinion of some people, about half the population of Thailand is female. That is currently around 35 million. Some of these females will be old ladies and some will be young children, but yes, that leaves quite a few girls.
It should also be noted that there is a great deal of gender confusion in Thailand with quite a few boys wanting to be girls and vice-versa.
- How do you get Thai girls without paying?
You don't. Nothing is free in Thailand, especially sex. For quite a few Thai girls, selling sex is a career and they're certainly not going to have sex for free. Would you do your job without receiving a salary? For the majority of girls who don't sell their bodies, sex isn't simply given away even if they enjoy it. Attitudes are very different compared to Western countries and sex isn't a sport engaged in purely for the enjoyment derived from it. Sex is a valuable commodity.
The majority of Thai girls who aren't prostitutes will only have sex with someone who they expect to marry. If you start having 'free' sex with a Thai girl who isn't a prostitute, it's about the same as putting an engagement ring on her finger. If you aren't serious about her and just decide to call off the relationship when you get bored, expect some fireworks. That sex wasn't free. She had sex with you because she expected a lot more and your actions leading up to the sex must have made her think that you were committed.
I met a Thai girl years ago who was absolutely heartbroken and couldn't stop crying for weeks. Eddie, a seedy Danish guy she had met, had developed a strategy for having free sex in Thailand. He met decent Thai girls and made out he loved and wanted to marry them. He promised them the world.
The girls, of whom she was one, were taken in with his lies and willingly slept with him. He then simply deserted them. He supposedly loved her, but when he visited Thailand he went to Isaan instead of Songkhla where she lived. Why did he do this if he loved her so much? She went to Isaan to find out what he was up to and found him with another girl.
Apparently, he had girls all over the country who he had promised to marry and was having lots of free sex. What a scumbag.
Another possible way is by cheating the working girls. There is an element of trust involved when doing business with Thai prostitutes and many don't demand money up front. I've read stories a few times about foreign men in Pattaya and Patong who have sex with prostitutes and then disappear without paying.
This is probably as low as it gets. Be aware that more CCTV cameras are appearing in Thailand all the time and any farang who attempts this dirty trick will hopefully be caught and punished appropriately. If you can't afford to pay with the prostitutes, don't play, and don't deceive the good girls, as Eddie the Dane did. There are lots of very decent girls in Thailand and they deserve a lot better than this. They get enough trouble from Thai men, without having problems with farangs too.
- Do Thai girls dislike fat men?
Most Thai girls have preferences and dislikes for the opposite sex in the same way that we all have preferences and dislikes for the opposite sex (the same sex in the case of gay people). However, with respectable Thai girls there isn't usually the same obsession with youth and good looks as there is with Western girls. If you're a genuinely good man and show that you will take care of the girl you stand a good chance regardless of your age or looks (provided, of course, that she doesn't already have a Thai boyfriend). It doesn't matter if you are old, ugly or fat.
Finding someone who will take care of them (doo lair in Thai) is extremely important to most Thai girls and with many girls this quality in a man outweighs youth and age. The spoilt, rich Asian princess types from rich families in Bangkok may think differently, but these girls are not usually the ones that get involved with farangs.
A few years ago, a Thai female friend of mine asked me to take some photos at her sister's wedding. She is quite attractive, as is her sister. I was gobsmacked when I saw the bridegroom. He looked like a hippo. No doubt, she was marrying him because he was a good man. It certainly wasn't for his looks.
When farang tourists refer to 'Thai girls' it is often the case that what they are really referring to is 'Thai prostitutes'. With the working girls the only thing that matters to them is that you have some money in your pocket. If you have a few thousand Baht and want to mess around with Thai prostitutes it doesn't matter if you look like the Elephant Man.
- Are there normal women in Thailand?
With many of these Google searches I have to try to interpret what the asker of the question actually means. What does he (I assume it was a man who asked) mean by normal? If his definition of normal is not working as a pole dancer in a Pattaya Go-Go bar, not sleeping with foreign tourists, and not trying to extort as much money out of foreign males as possible, then the answer is yes, there are lots of normal girls in Thailand.
When you visit places such as Pattaya, Patong or certain areas of Bangkok, the Thai girls working as prostitutes that you will encounter are not exactly representative (or normal) of Thai girls. I assume this is what he meant. To meet 'normal' girls, just stay away from those places and don't act like a tourist.
- How do you catch a girl in Thailand?
I've always found large butterfly nets to be quite effective.
Recommend this on Google