Living In Thailand Blog
Thursday 12th April 2007
I must make more of an effort in future not to be such a miserable old git.
Today I attended a pre-Songkran event at work and it was a very enjoyable experience. In attendance were five monks - even numbers aren't considered auspicious and, whereas nine is ideal (nine being a very lucky number), five is acceptable.
After various blessings were performed by the monks and we'd all had a chance to bathe a Buddha image, we sat down for lunch. Proceedings after lunch began to get a little wetter. However, everything was done in a very gentle, polite and respectful fashion.
Some people simply chose to bathe the hands of other people. A few got wet shoulders and there was a certain amount of pouring water down the inside of shirts. I poured water on hands only, figuring it wouldn't be a good career move to start pouring water down the tops of the people I work with, especially as they are 98% female.
Interestingly though, when it came to women pouring water on other women; down the inside of their shirts and blouses seemed to be the preferred target.
Thailand is a very happy place at the moment in anticipation of the biggest holiday of the year. I came away thinking just what a wonderful race of people the Thais are. I also wondered how it was possible for any foreigner in Thailand NOT to enjoy Songkran and I thought about the comments I made a few days ago.
I have decided now not to stay indoors and I plan to buy a suitably loud and garish Songkran shirt this evening in readiness for the festivities tomorrow. In my defence, there are a few differences between what I experienced today and what will take place tomorrow.
My colleagues at work are professional, educated and sober people. Tomorrow, out on the streets, it will be necessary to run the gamut of Thai society and many young lads will be drunk.
Being approached respectfully first with some polite words and a polite request to sprinkle a few drops of water is a little different to being hit unexpectedly with buckets full of icy-cold water from passing pickup trucks.
With regard to getting wet, there is a chance it could be naturally wet anyway. Storm clouds have been gathering over the last couple of days and, with threatening black skies, there is a good chance of some heavy downpours.
It's easy to predict things after the event but I had a feeling that Oliver Jufer would probably get a royal pardon sooner or later. The only thing that has surprised me is how quickly it has happened. Had I been forced to guess, I would probably have said December 5th.
Jufer may be free from jail but he is now persona non grata in Thailand and will be deported. Apparently he has a Thai wife, and, after living in Thailand for 10 years, he will fully understand how good the living is in Thailand; something he will not experience again. I expect he is kicking himself for his insensitive act of drunken stupidity.
The Songkran road carnage has already started. Yesterday, 11th April, 41 people were killed on the roads of Thailand and 514 injured. Most accidents involved motorbikes and one third were due to drunk-driving. Considering that Songkran hasn't even started yet, expect the figures to rise considerable over the next few days.
Wednesday 11th April 2007
Seven more people are dead (including one 60 year-old foreigner) and 31 injured as a bus travelling from Nong Khai to Rayong lost control while speeding down a mountain road. Surviving passengers confirmed the bus was travelling at speed, which is quite normal.
Reading this story reminded me of some of the terrifying bus rides I've taken on mountain roads in Thailand in the past.
On downhill sections they build up tremendous speed and just overtake any vehicles in their path to avoid having to slow down. Right of way in Thailand is dictated by the size of the vehicle. If you see a bus coming towards you on your side of the road you are the one who is expected to get out of the way.
This accident, just like all the others, will not affect the way the buses are driven one little bit and whatever calls there are for the situation to improve, nothing is likely to change. The Nation can publish editorials demanding, 'Terror on the buses must end,' but it won't. This is probably the most worrying thing of all.
The report I've linked to above mentions another bus crash on Monday night that killed another seven people. It happened in Nakhon Sri Thammarat province as the bus travelled from Bangkok to Hat Yai.
Next week, over the Songkran festival, the carnage on Thailand's roads will only get worse. And you were worried about visiting Thailand because of Bird Flu or insurgency?
I realise that using the word 'tits' in a blog about Thailand could bring in some interesting traffic. However, so as not to mislead anyone, if you arrived here from Google after using 'tits' as one of your key words, this blog entry refers to the feathered variety.
I am planning to write some entries about the other type some time in the future but only after I have completed several years of research. Please be patient as my research is of a sensitive nature and can't be hurried.
Back in England I used to put food out for wild birds (as many British people do). As a result, I started to develop an interest in the birds that arrived at the feeder. At first came familiar species - sparrows, Robins, Great Tits, Blue Tits (oh no, what kind of traffic are search engines going to bring in using these terms on a web site about Thailand?), Chaffinches, Greenfinches, but after a while some more unusual birds started to appear.
I saw Long-tailed Tits, Coal Tits, Nuthatches, Eurasian Jays and - most notably - a Greater Spotted Woodpecker.
After moving to Thailand I wanted to do the same thing. In Buddhist terms it's a good way to make merit (tum-boon) but I was also interested, living in a tropical country, to see what colourful and exotic birds might appear.
The problem was that I couldn't find bird feeders for sale in Thailand. Feeding wild birds may be a passion in Britain but not in Thailand. The Thais release birds into the open (after first catching them!) to make merit.
They feed stray cats and dogs; and at a few famous temples I've been to with pigeon populations, food for the pigeons is sold. I've also seen fish food for sale at big ponds and lakes but feeding wild birds just for the sake of it doesn't seem to be done.
When my parents visited recently, one of the more eccentric items on my list of things to bring (along with jars of mustard pickle) was a bird feeder. Filling it up was quite cheap - or at least I thought so until I realised how quickly the food disappears.
The results have been disappointing so far (although hopefully I have made a little merit to put in my personal Karma bank).
So much for all the colourful and exotic bird species I thought might arrive. The list of different species can be summed up in a single word. Sparrows. Thousands of them. There have been reports in Britain in recent years of a decline in the sparrow population but Thailand has no such problem. In fact, if the UK sparrow population is really under threat, Thailand could start exporting them.
They arrive at the feeder in great numbers and feed constantly from sunrise to sunset. In England I might only have had to refill the feeder once a week but here it has to be done almost every day. The little buggers are ravenous with such an easy source of food available.
I'm not sure how long I will continue. Last night I spent more on bird food than I did my own meal. Perhaps if I move to another part of Thailand I might start seeing some more exotic species but at the moment it is sparrows, sparrows and more sparrows.
Tuesday 10th April 2007
Where are you come from?
I'm not one who likes to admit defeat but that's about the point I'm at right now with teaching in Thailand. I come from an analytical and problem solving background and I know that the first thing you need to do when trying to solve a problem is to understand exactly what the problem is.
Anyone trying to teach English in Thailand will quickly realise that most Thais speak English using only one tense - the present. If you also omit a few prepositions you start to get typical expressions such as, "Yesterday, I go Bangkok," and "Tomorrow, I go Bangkok."
The meaning is understood most of the time but it is poor English. All that's happening, if you understand any Thai, is that they are translating word-by-word from Thai to English except that in Thai they would probably also omit pronouns.
When I had an opportunity to teach a group of students on a fairly long term basis I believed that fixing this particular problem would be the best thing I could do to improve their overall command of the language. I also knew that I would have to simplify my teaching as much as possible.
My plan was to teach future tense using a few different expressions depending on the degree of certainty that something would happen. "I am going to ....," for something that is 100% certain, "I might ....," 50% and, "I will probably ....," about 80%. These expressions aren't exact but they are easy to learn and adequate most of the time to convey the correct meaning.
With past actions I just wanted them to learn past simple for completed actions, "I was busy," or, "She went shopping," and present perfect to indicate actions in the past that haven't finished yet, "I have been busy" (I still am, or I was up until very recently) or, "She has gone shopping," (she hasn't returned yet).
It didn't seem like rocket science and by using timelines and lots of examples I was confident I could teach what I set out to teach in a way that could be easily understood. That was a year ago, or so, and the faces are just as blank today as they ever were.
Sometimes I feel as if I have made a little headway but the old habits won't go away. What I sometimes hear now, for example, is, "Yesterday, I went go to Bangkok."
The question came up today, "How long you live in Thailand?" This type of poor English will sound familiar to any foreigner in Thailand. In normal circumstances I would assume the question was meant to be in the present perfect tense, "How long have you lived (been living) in Thailand? However, I knew that the person who asked the question was actually asking about the future, "How long do you think you will live in Thailand?"
Trying to explain this, and also the difference between the present perfect and the past simple version, "How long did you live in Thailand?" seems to be about impossible though.
With one hour a week to teach I can only do so much. I can't perform miracles and I can't fix 12 years of poor education. For the life of me, I can't figure out why Thai students are forced to memorise pages upon pages of English verb conjugations during their basic schooling but are not taught how to use them.
Ask them for the past tense of any English verb (chong sawng) or the past participle (chong saam) and they will most likely know but they only ever use the present tense (chong neung) when speaking.
Probably the most effective long-term solution would be for foreign teachers (the ones who actually know what they are talking about) to start educating Thai teachers instead of Thai students. Many Thai teachers teaching English have a poor grasp of the language and pass on bad habits to their students which then become deeply ingrained.
The problem though is that they finish their education with a long list of qualifications and develop an over-inflated opinion of their own abilities. And for as long as they only teach Thai students, there will never be anyone around to teach them the error of their ways or correct their mistakes. Unfortunately, unless there's a big shake up in the education system, this problem will never get fixed.
As a teacher with a responsible attitude, I will continue to do my best but there are limits as to what I can achieve. Some of my students told me a Thai proverb the other week that went something along the lines of, "You can't teach a crocodile how to climb trees and pick coconuts." How true.
With hindsight, I think the biggest mistake I made was to actually mention terms such as 'present', 'past' and 'present perfect'. Anything related to grammar is the best way to lose Thai students. The very mention of anything grammatical sets alarm bells ringing and red flags waving. It brings back terrible memories of those boring hours at school memorising 'go went gone', 'swim swam swum', 'eat ate eaten'.
It is of course impossible to learn a language without knowing anything grammar, just as it is impossible to learn mathematics without knowing anything about arithmetic, but it is possible when teaching English to avoid using the dreaded word.
It's proving a struggle to keep hydrated in this continuing spell of very hot weather. My daily regime is to pour at least three glasses of water down my throat every morning as soon as I wake up, plus one glass of electrolyte, and then throughout the day to keep taking water on board regularly.
Sachets of orange-flavoured electrolyte powder can be bought at every pharmacy in Thailand for Bt5 each. Just add the powder to a glass of drinking water to replace the salts and minerals that are lost through sweating.
With the skin being the largest organ in the body (sorry to disappoint, boys) and the exit point for sweat, the amount of fluid we can lose in hot conditions through sweating can be significant.
It is only really since I started living in Thailand that I have started to recognise the symptoms of dehydration. With hindsight, I realise now that I suffered a lot in the past when I went on vacation to hot countries because I wasn't drinking enough water.
I remember quite clearly occasions when I was on vacation in Thailand and the Philippines and wasted whole days because I didn't feel good. At the time I put it down to the heat - which was only half the story - not realising I was dehydrated and that by drinking a lot more water I could have improved matters.
I used to have a habit of only drinking when I was thirsty but you can be quite dehydrated and not feel at all thirsty. Obvious signs are small amounts of very dark urine and long periods of time in between feeling the need to urinate.
Low level headaches are another sign - not thumping, painful headaches - but enough to make you feel very lethargic. Also, sleeping a lot. With advancing age we can experience dizzy spells when bending down and getting back up again, but this is made worse through dehydration.
The body only needs to lose 2% of its normal fluid volume for these symptoms to start to become noticeable. Losing 15% or more can be fatal.
Despite all this advice, I managed to get myself dehydrated again last week. I had drunk a lot of water in the early part of the day but lapsed after lunchtime for a few hours. When I eventually went to the toilet the telltale signs were there and by the time I got home I felt pretty awful. The problem had been made worse by an upset stomach and diarrhoea, which meant losing even more fluid than usual.
I had a bad headache, my whole body ached, I felt tired and I fell asleep. When I woke up I didn't feel particularly thirsty but just kept pouring water down my throat until it started coming out of the other end. I started to feel a lot better soon afterwards.
Drinking coffee and alcohol makes things even worse. These substances, being diuretics, just increase the rate of loss of fluid from the body so if you drink either you should increase the amount of water you drink further.
I thought tea was also a diuretic but a report I read recently about green tea contradicted this. I have read so many good reports over the last couple of years about the positive effects of green tea that I now make sure I drink a cup or two each day. I am virtually teetotal these days but can't shake off my coffee habit - especially in the mornings.
Dehydration is a serious condition. At best it can make you feel quite lousy and at worst it can lead to death. However, with a little awareness it is something that can be avoided fairly easily.
Monday 9th April 2007
I wrote a few pieces last month about the Jatukham Rammathep amulet craze that has been sweeping across Thailand. I've just seen a report on The Nation web site about a woman being trampled to death in Nakhon Sri Thammarat today as people forced their way to buy coupons for a special edition of the famous amulet.
She was left dead with footprints all over her body. Police were unable to control the crowds, which also caused large traffic jams. As The Nation has pointed out, this kind of amulet worship has nothing to do with Buddhism but it would appear that the ancient animist beliefs of the Thais are still very much alive and well.
It's almost that time of year again in Thailand and already I've been questioned several times about my plans for Songkran. Like Christmas in the UK and Thanksgiving in the US, it is a time for family get-togethers in Thailand.
One question I keep getting asked is whether I am going back to England for Songkran. It's an absolutely ridiculous notion which is somewhat baffling to me but the Thais seem equally baffled when I laugh and tell them no. Perhaps I should start asking them at Christmas whether they have plans to visit their families?
To be honest, I just don't know at the moment. As you can tell from this blog, I am cynical and quite moody. What happens on Songkran day will depend very much on the kind of mood I wake up in. I might join in but I will make sure I have enough food in my fridge to stay indoors all day if that is what I feel like doing.
I joined in the first two years I was here but couldn't be bothered last year. For those who have never experienced the Thai water festival, let me explain what happens. There are different formats in different parts of Thailand and I can only speak about what happens in the fairly deep south.
Up in Chiang Mai the holiday lasts for a week or more. Down here the holiday is only for a few days with water splashing just on one day. In tourist areas it tends to get quite boisterous, I believe.
Originally, I am told that it was a very gentle affair. In addition to bathing Buddha images, young people would respectfully bathe the hands of older people. At some stage though, everything degenerated and it turned into a nationwide water fight (one account I read mentioned this happened during the time when there were a lot of US service personnel in Thailand).
If I go out on Songkran day, no matter which way I turn, within 100 yards I will come across a bunch of kids with water pistols. After seeing me, they will approach furtively, trying to gauge my reaction. When they realise I am not going to get angry or aggressive, one will start squirting water at me and the others will quickly follow.
I will say thank you and everyone will laugh. Ha ha ha. As I continue walking, more kids will do the same. While walking along the road some pickup trucks will drive past with barrels of iced water and loads of kids on the back. I will get hit with gallons of icy water, which I don't like.
A few people will want to smear white paste on my cheeks - some of them might even be cute girls. As I continue wandering around I will get more paste and more dousings.
That, in a nutshell, is it. It's basically one joke that is made to last all day. Young, testosterone-laden Thai lads ride their motorbikes around, drinking large quantities of beer, while trying to impress the girls. Songkran is always a good excuse to get fresh with unknown girls and this fact is not lost of some farangs in Thailand.
The roads, as you can imagine, get very slippery with all the water and the number of road accidents always soars over Songkran - aided by alcohol.
In defence of the Thais, they generally behave themselves and don't overstep the line of what is acceptable and what isn't. I've heard stories of girls being groped but I've never seen anything bad myself. I'd like to claim I have been groped by Thai girls during Songkran but sadly it isn't true.
It's one of those things that if you get into the spirit of the occasion it can be good fun but these days I have a problem getting into the spirit. For me, at my advanced age, one joke that lasts all day is just a little boring. We shall see.
Click here for some photos I took and an account of Songkran day from two years ago. They're not the greatest of photos. I had to use my old Sony P&S with the underwater housing that I normally use for scuba diving. Do not take anything out on Songkran day that can be damaged by water.
Sunday 8th April 2007
For the second time this season, the glorious Hammers beat Arsenal in a game totally dominated by one side (Arsenal!) and I can't watch any of Robert Green's heroics on YouTube. It was compensation of sorts watching Arsene Wenger being interviewed on the BBC but it is a pain not being able to access YouTube.
Apparently, YouTube is now showing the Thai authorities how to block individual items so that the whole site needn't be blocked. Common sense should prevail eventually - I hope - as I'm looking forward to YouTube clips showing West Ham's rout of Sheffield United next week to ease out of the relegation zone (provided, of course, Reading beat Charlton on Monday night).
Continuing yesterday's theme about subjects Thais can't understand, it is impossible for most Asians - not just Thais - to understand why someone should support a team that isn't Manchester United or Liverpool.
The truth is they will never understand what it is like to grow up within walking distance of a club (as I did as a kid in East Ham), or to realise what impact that club has on the local community, including family and friends.
These days I am what is known as a 'plastic' fan by the real fans who devote 100% of their lives to the team they support. As a kid I went to Upton Park and later in life - late 80's, early 90's - I returned to watch West Ham bounce up and down between the top two divisions, mostly standing in the North Bank.
For three seasons in the early mid-90's I sat in seat E17 of the Lower East stand as a season ticket holder which was a great experience. The first season cost me the bargain price of £180. It doubled the next season and for the third season there was another 50% increase.
After chopping in my season ticket I think I only went back for one game but occasional games watching from different viewpoints are never the same as going every week, sitting in the same seat, and building a rapport with the other fans around you.
The camaraderie among supporters at away games is also something that is very special although I never experienced the pleasure as an innocent supporter of being beaten by baton-wielding European police thugs or having my buttocks slashed by Italian hooligans who then flee on scooters.
Thailand is a great place and has a lot to offer but it can never offer the same thrill and excitement as going to an English football game. In life - wherever you are - you can have anything but you can't have everything. I miss West Ham games but I definitely have no ideas about returning to England just for that!
Saturday 7th April 2007
It's easy to complain about getting ripped off and being charged too much for things in Thailand but what about getting charged too little? For the past few days I've had an upset stomach and - in conjunction with the very hot weather - I've not wanted to go very far for lunch.
There's a small restaurant nearby that I've known about for a long time but had never eaten at previously so I decided to give it a try. It's very typical of local-style restaurants in Thailand.
This one is spotlessly clean and despite the menu being fairly limited, the food is good. They've actually prepared a couple of meals for me that aren't on the menu. Everything is cooked fresh and with a cup of hot lemon tea to wash it down I have paid Bt35, Bt35 and Bt45 the three times I've been there.
Three women work there (who presumably want some wages), they have to buy the raw ingredients, rent the shop, pay for gas, water and electricity, etc. I don't know how they manage to stay in business but many such small restaurant businesses do.
Most Thais are a little reserved at first but after they meet you for the third or fourth time they start to open up. On today's visit I got a few questions now that they feel more comfortable about me. I'm not sure that my answers were really understood though.
I think I puzzle the Thais as much as I puzzle my family. Why do I choose to live in a shitty little provincial town in southern Thailand and not somewhere like Phuket? It's a question I can answer quite easily but if people need to ask the question it is very unlikely they will understand my answer.
The girl was also puzzled as to why I've never been back to England since I left and why I don't miss it. She mentioned the hot weather in Thailand and indeed, it is pretty miserable at the moment but the winter months in England are equally miserable. Nowhere is perfect but I prefer imperfect Thailand to imperfect England.
I also got a Thai lesson on today's visit. I asked about their sweet and sour fish but wasn't sure if she was talking about a particular type of fish (possibly a snapper) or about a can of fish. By getting the waitress to write out both versions I was able to see what is different even though I couldn't hear the difference in normal speech.
The fish type is ปลากระพง (bplaa gra-pong) but a can of fish is ปลากระป๋อง (bplaa gra-bpong).
The difference is in the last syllable between an aspirated 'p' and the sound that falls in between 'b' and 'p' that remains unaspirated - 'bp'. Now that I am aware of the difference I hope I will be able to detect it in future.
The blocking of YouTube in Thailand has thrown the whole issue of censorship into question. What subjects are appropriate to be censored and what gives certain people the right to decide what other people can see and what they can't? Am I not capable of deciding for myself what is acceptable for my personal viewing and what isn't?
It's a difficult and emotive subject so please don't get upset with my personal views. What concerns me most of all is that certain groups of people seem to be going out of their way to offend other people and I certainly don't want to add fuel to the fire. From where I sit in southern Thailand, there is enough conflict going on around me already without wanting to see more.
It turns out that Google - who own YouTube - happily comply with Chinese censorship regulations but not Thai ones; the reason being that China is an important commercial market. So that's the answer, is it then? Money.
The Thai Ministry of Culture has been carrying out an ongoing moral crusade; in the words of The Nation, "attempting to eradicate media unsuitable for youngsters."
Next week there will be the annual condemnation of young Thai girls enjoying themselves in the Songkran festivities who are deemed to be wearing inappropriate clothing, such as the notorious 'spaghetti-strap' tops.
Thai TV censorship is ridiculous with cigarettes and alcoholic drinks fuzzed out. "Ah, that man just raised something to his mouth and puffed out some smoke. I wonder what he could possibly be holding?"
This type of censorship has no effect. Thai males from low socio-economic groups will drink and smoke regardless of what anyone says. It's a rite of passage for them and a law of nature.
By the same token, many Thai males and all Thai females from the educated middle classes are very unlikely to take up drinking or smoking regardless of whether they see actors drinking and smoking on TV or not.
In the story at the link above one paragraph states:
"The Culture Ministry and Information and Communications Technology Ministry are trying to block an overseas website allegedly showing live lewd acts by webcam users that are being widely accessed in Thailand."
Like it or not, the censors can't do anything about basic human nature. You can't remove an interest in sex from healthy human beings. Also, in my opinion, trying to do so can be quite dangerous.
Pornography has never interested me (for some strange reason I have always found real girls to be more sexually exciting than my laptop or magazines) but it serves as an outlet for many people to relieve their sexual tension.
In overly polite societies where these natural desires are repressed, such as Japan, they sometimes surface in unnatural and unhealthy ways. The Thai government can't block every pornographic image on the Internet and neither should they try to do so.
The areas in which some form of censorship should be exercised - I believe - are those which are proven to alter behaviour in a negative way. Every day now I read about fatal stabbings or shootings in London and can't help but wonder if the culture of violence has anything to do with the perpetrators being brought up on a diet of violent movies and computer games.
Thai kids have an obsession with on-line games such as Ragnarok and when I have observed them it is normal for the character they control to walk around with a gun shooting everything that comes into their path. At what point does the line start to blur between their real and virtual worlds?
There is also evidence to support the theory that people who play computer racing games take more risks on the road when they drive real cars.
We also need to be sensitive regarding other cultures and that is another justification (in my humble opinion) for censorship. Isn't there enough conflict in the world as it is without deliberating inflaming people by doing something we know is guaranteed to cause offence? And is it really necessary to cause conflict just to exercise our right to freedom of speech?
Freedom of speech is a wonderful thing but we fully understand that if we publish inappropriate Islamic cartoons in Danish newspapers it will offend Muslims, if we publish inappropriate images of Jesus it will offend Christians, and if we publish inappropriate images of the Thai King it will offend Thais.
Or is that why people do it - to cause offence, hatred and conflict? If that is the case then there isn't much chance for peace in this world of ours.
What is particularly saddening about the YouTube incident is that it is Thailand being picked on. Why Thailand when the Thais are probably the most inoffensive and tolerant people on the planet? Anyone who has ever visited Thailand will tell you just how friendly and welcoming the Thais are.
Just down the road in Malaysia you are not allowed to enter the country if you are Jewish. There is no such bigotry, narrow-mindedness and religious intolerance in Thailand. No one here cares where you come from, what colour your skin is, or what faith you follow. All (legal) visitors are treated equally.
King Mongkut (Rama IV) opened up the country in a way that had never happened before and invited in American missionaries. He was never convinced with what they had to say, famously saying, "What you teach us to do is admirable, but what you teach us to believe is foolish," but he respected their beliefs, gave them land on which to build churches, and allowed them to preach openly to the Thai people.
One of the strengths of Buddhism is that it respects all other faiths and it is this kind of tolerance that pervades Thai society. For foreigners now to show the disrespect they have shown towards Thailand, it is totally unwarranted and just plain nasty.
Friday 6th April 2007
Once again, I am getting a little tired of the hypocrisy, double standards and ignorance of foreigners and foreign media when it comes to anything to do with Thailand. I am referring to the continued YouTube ban.
Once again, foreigners just don't get it. A YouTube spokesperson has tried to explain that there are video clips mocking George Bush on YouTube; therefore this somehow makes it OK to have video clips insulting the Thai King.
No, no, no. Wrong.
Most Americans are NOT culturally sensitive about George Bush or other politicians. If they were, Letterman and Leno wouldn't get away with what they get away with on their nightly TV shows. Neither are the British. Neither are most British sensitive about the British monarchy.
A TV show called Spitting Image which ran on UK television for many years openly lampooned politicians and the British monarchy - sometimes quite savagely. Spitting Image was only able to get away with what it did because of the lack of cultural sensitivity in the UK regarding the subject matter. Such a programme could NEVER do the same thing in Thailand. UK tabloid newspapers also openly mock the British royal family when it suits them.
Just because one country lacks cultural sensitivity about its monarchy (or doesn't have a monarchy) doesn't mean that all other countries are the same.
The YouTube spokesperson's argument is not comparing eggs with eggs. Let's use a better example. Christian fundamentalist Americans are culturally sensitive to God and Jesus and if anyone insults their religion they get upset. If Madonna uses Christian imagery in a music video or on stage at a concert, or if someone makes a chocolate sculpture of Jesus, the Christians get very, very upset.
But when the Thais get upset over something that is culturally sensitive to them, everyone acts surprised. Double standards, or what? It seems to be symptomatic of American cultural imperialism that values held high in America are the only ones that are important and other people's values just don't count.
I have spent a fair amount of time in the United States. The insularity that exists there and the general lack of knowledge and awareness of anything that happens in the world outside of the United States is quite frightening.
PS. Of the GWB video clips I have watched on YouTube, the only person making a fool of George Bush is George Bush himself as he stumbles over his words and speaks complete gibberish. Poor Dubbya doesn't need anyone's assistance when it comes to making a fool of himself.
The BBC is really starting to annoy me now for the same reasons I discussed previously. On the first version of their update to this story today they invited readers' comments. I responded to their request.
I was not rude but wrote along similar lines to the blog entry above, attempting to present a case to show that cultural sensitivity varies between countries and explaining why the Thais are very culturally sensitive about this particular subject.
I thought that what I wrote presented a balanced view. However, as I pointed out before, the BBC does not want balanced arguments or rational logic. What the BBC wants is sensationalism. Wow, Thailand puts people in jail and blocks web sites for insulting the King. How sensational is that?
My comments were ignored (yet again) and now they have removed the option for readers to make comments. Perhaps I wasn't the only one to respond supporting a case for the actions taken by Thailand? The BBC is not impartial. Everything they write has a strong editorial bias and any feedback they get that they don't like, they just ignore.
If only they had treated the chocolate Jesus story the same way. Apparently though (because of the double standards employed), it is acceptable for Christians to get upset about perceived insults to Jesus but not for the Thais to get upset about insults to their beloved King.
I am really pleased the Thais have done what they have done. Good for them.
Thursday 5th April 2007
Whatever political progress may actually be being made in Thailand, government censorship is still very much alive and well.
A month or two ago The Nation, in one of its reports, mentioned a web site set up by the former PM called Hi-Thaksin.com. I can't stand the man and I have never believed a word he has said but I was interested to see what the web site had to say. I couldn't access it though. It's banned in Thailand.
Also regarding The Nation, a photo I submitted to the newspaper a few years ago was published and I won a prize. The prize was the book 'Bangkok Inside Out'. I found out recently it too has been banned in Thailand (some time last year I think).
I don't have a TV but occasionally I like to watch rare TV clips (Yetis, UFOs, West Ham goals, etc.) so I surf over to YouTube. I discovered this morning that YouTube has now been blocked in Thailand.
Hopefully, common sense will prevail and YouTube will remove the offending item as the Thai authorities had already kindly asked them to do before they blocked the site.
There are a number of Thai YouTube users, a few of whom have uploaded music videos of the gorgeous and talented, Lanna Cummins. It's bad enough not being able to watch Carlos Tevez stroking in goals to the delight of the Upton Park faithful but also denying me the pleasure of watching and listening to the delightful Lanna is almost too painful to contemplate.
The insensitivity of a couple of people - the person who uploaded the offending clip and the person at YouTube who refused to remove it - has now affected the enjoyment of a lot of people in Thailand. How many ways does it need spelling out that there is one subject in Thailand that is completely taboo?
I am very aware that I've done the subject of road accidents in Thailand to death but such a senseless waste of life, when so many deaths could be avoided, distresses me. I think it's also important for visitors to realise that statistically the number one danger they face in Thailand is travelling by road.
Despite the serious bus accident in Saraburi province last month that claimed 29 innocent lives, the carnage continues. There was a big pile up in Bangkok yesterday morning involving another bus. Driving at high speed (surprise surprise), the bus driver has been charged with manslaughter. It is uncertain at the moment whether the accident was a result of reckless driving or brake failure - or maybe a combination of both.
The situation in Bangkok is far worse than anywhere else in the country and travelling by road there terrifies me at times. Considering how much traffic there is, I just cannot believe how fast people drive. It's crazy.
Last year I was almost killed after getting into a taxi being driven by an unlicensed (and brain-dead) driver. He didn't have a clue where anything was in Bangkok and got completely lost trying to get me back to my hotel, finally ending up on the expressway to Don Muang.
He decided to try to do a U-turn so moved across to the right-hand lane but of course U-turns aren't possible on expressways. Realising his mistake, he stopped in the fast lane with the intention of then cutting across six or seven lanes of very fast-moving traffic to exit left.
Yes, he just coasted to a halt with cars and trucks travelling at 140kph or faster screaming up behind us. I honestly thought I was experiencing my last few seconds on earth.
I screamed at him to keep going but the twat just smiled and told me, "Mai bpen rai." My life was saved by a Bangkok traffic cop who had witnessed everything and somehow managed to prevent a major accident.
He arrested the driver and flagged down a proper taxi which got me back to my hotel in one piece. I could have kissed him. The rogue driver's final action before being carted off to the cells was to ask me for the fare.
Also in Bangkok last year, I saw a pickup truck change lanes without looking directly in front of the taxi I was travelling in. It hit a small Toyota saloon square-on (the car we were travelling behind) and flipped the Toyota on to its side, sending it sliding across the road towards the oncoming traffic.
Five seconds later and it could have been my taxi that the pickup truck hit. It was one of those surreal moments that passed in an instant. I remember watching the Toyota ahead of us driving normally, then being flipped 90 degrees and sliding across the road, and then we were on our way again leaving the scene of the accident behind.
Out in the provinces, a popular way to transport lots of people around is in the back of a pickup truck. I often see 20 or more people travelling this way. It has often crossed my mind that if a truck was in a bad accident, the people in the back wouldn't stand much of a chance.
Well, that's exactly what has just happened. An overloaded pickup truck with 25 people in the back blew a tyre; it overturned, killing seven people and injuring the rest.
Lovely people, the Thais, but they do seem to enjoy killing themselves on the roads and with Songkran coming up next week the death toll from road traffic accidents will increase dramatically over the holiday. It always does.
Wednesday 4th April 2007
Can we believe anything we read in the media? I used to have a lot of faith in the BBC but it could only have been blind faith based on reputation. Since I moved to Thailand I have been generally disappointed with the BBC's reporting about events in Thailand.
Like all media organisations nowadays, they exist in a competitive market and fight to get readers and/or viewers. It would appear that the most effective way to achieve this is by the use of sensationalism.
The BBC may not be quite as blatant as The Sun with their tactics but it operates basically in the same way. In the last couple of years, bird flu has been a favourite sensationalist topic of the BBC's. The disease has killed a handful of people. The number of deaths from bird flu per year is completely insignificant compared to the amount of deaths caused by cancer, heart disease, malaria, road accidents, etc.
However, every single, solitary bird flu death has made front page news on the BBC web site. I wrote to them about this and received a feeble reply as to why they thought their coverage was justified.
In 1975 - to increase its audience - the BBC made a TV series called Survivors which was about life in Britain after a deadly virus had wiped out most of the earth's population. It was a sensationalist plot that attracted a lot of viewers.
When bird flu surfaced and someone predicted the virus could mutate, thus causing a pandemic, it must have been all of the BBC news editor's wildest dreams come true. Here was not a TV series but a real-life version of Survivors. Great for viewing figures and page hits.
Another sensationalist topic is prostitution in developing countries, especially if it involves men from developed countries. It's a complex subject but unfortunately a heavily-cliched, easy-to-understand, version has been established in western countries which gets trotted out fairly regularly when there's a lull in other news stories.
I couldn't believe it recently when the BBC correspondent in Thailand wrote an article on the subject using the very same weary cliches. I wrote about this on 23rd February.
More recently, there has been the case of Oliver Jufer, a Swiss man jailed in Thailand on lèse majesté charges. Once again, the BBC completely sensationalised the story.
They did not give a single piece of relevant background information as to why the crime he committed was treated so harshly by the Thais. Instead, they published an article with a prominent picture of Henry VIII, implying that there are countries in the world today (ie., Thailand) which have laws that 'developed' countries used in the middle-ages.
The word again is sensationalism. This particular article invited feedback from readers so I gave the BBC some background to put into context Oliver Jufer's sentence. What my explanation did though was to lessen the degree of sensationalism so the BBC just ignored what I had to say. Why spoil a good story with the truth?
The BBC wrote a sensationalist article a few weeks ago about the bank I use. The bank had changed the way customers access Internet banking in order to improve security. The sensationalist theme of the story was that people had been locked out of their bank accounts.
I changed my details and it was very straightforward. Apparently a few not-too-bright people changed their details and then couldn't remember what they had changed them to so, of course, they couldn't access their accounts. That's right, if you don't know your security details you can't get into your account. That's how security works.
The BBC's story was all about a few idiots who had done something stupid when hundreds of thousands of other customers didn't have any problems. I wrote to them about this too but - once again - my words didn't fit in with the sensationalist nature of the story so they ignored me again.
Sorry BBC but you suck and I can't believe anything you tell me anymore.
On the other hand, during my time in Thailand I have thoroughly enjoyed reading The Nation, one of Thailand's English-language publications. The Nation played a significant part in the downfall of Thaksin Shinawatra and they never gave up telling the truth, even though - at the height of Thaksin's popularity and with his appalling human rights record - it was not a wise thing to do to criticise him.
Some people accused the newspaper of perhaps being a little overzealous in its hatred of Thaksin but with the evidence that is now finally beginning to appear, we can see that they weren't wrong. The journalists there have a knack of being able to summarise complex issues into clear and concise articles and their editorials speak a lot of sense.
There were several good pieces today. One was about the state of democracy in Thailand. I liked the bit about some people thinking military coups were like reset buttons on computers.
The other article I liked managed to summarise - in a humorous style - one of the biggest corruption scandals Thailand has ever known into a few short paragraphs. It's a very good example of how Thaksin and his wife used their very astute business brains to steal from their fellow countrymen and women.
The only thing that continues to puzzle me is that when all this stuff was going on, people knew what was happening. Throughout Thaksin's time in office, publications such as The Nation were telling the world what was going on. It was as if no one was listening though.
Just over a year ago - when Thaksin was voted in again convincingly for a second term - was one of the lowest points of my time in Thailand. I knew exactly why and how it had happened but that was of little consolation.
Anyway, come September, someone pressed the big reset button on the computer that runs Thailand, the tanks rolled into Bangkok, and democracy got off to yet another fresh start.
But will the situation ever really change? There are actually a few signs appearing that it might. One thing Thailand really needed to do was to silence Thaksin who has fought like a dog since the coup and refuses to lie down. Well, the closing chapter may be coming very soon.
Tuesday 3rd April 2007
I manage to avoid most minor annoyances in Thailand these days but a notable exception is when I use any form of public transport. The modes of travel that don't cause many issues - with some minor exceptions - are planes, sawng-thaews and big buses.
Air Asia cancels and delays flights all the time but it was a case of 'once bitten, twice shy' with them. After a seven hour delay from Bangkok, arriving home at 3am when I had to be up at 7am to go to work, I now fly on any airline but Air Asia.
Bus operators will happily sell more tickets than they have seats (which isn't much fun if you have to take a 12 hour journey standing up) so I try to avoid getting on buses mid-route. It's much better to board where the bus leaves from.
Sawng-thaews are generally hassle-free (apart from when the driver just stops and waits at the side of the road for 10 minutes because he hasn't got enough passengers) but you need to know the routes to use them. This is no big deal though.
Minivans, as I've stated many times, just treat people like cargo. They keep you waiting around for ages because they won't leave until the vans are full and often they carry far too many people. If they do leave without a full quota of passengers they drive round and round looking for passengers.
In addition to people, they act like courier services carrying parcels and packages. Many is the time I've been on magical mystery tours as the driver goes miles out of the way to deliver stuff.
I've been having lots of problems with motorbike taxis in the last few months. They are regulated by the local municipality and need to wear a vest to show they are officially licensed. However, despite the fact they are on two wheels they are just like any other taxi service.
Somewhere - although I've never seen any hard evidence - there will be an official fare chart which gives details of exactly how much they should charge. There will be a fixed charge for the initial distance and a set amount for every kilometre, or part thereof, after.
That's how it should work but - being Thailand - it doesn't, of course. As with tuk-tuk drivers, they basically charge what they can get away with and, naturally, farangs are fair game for big fare hikes.
About three years ago, most motorbike taxi journeys where I live were Bt10 and journeys to areas outside the central 80% of town were Bt20. After the price of oil shot up and the government removed its oil subsidy, prices went up to Bt20 and Bt30 respectively.
That was quite understandable in light of the rise in oil prices and the fact that the previous price was probably a bit low anyway. However, in recent months I have found that many of the guys don't want to take me anywhere for less than Bt30. Anywhere. This is because I am a farang.
I know this to be true because it's not all drivers. Some have obviously not been told by their colleagues to charge farangs more and just charge me the regular price (or maybe a slightly marked up price). I think that on occasions I am being overcharged even at Bt20 because frequently I see Thais handing over a Bt20 note and getting change.
One occasion really annoyed me. There were two drivers and I asked one the price which should have been Bt20. He was hovering on telling me Bt20 but his mate constantly egged him on to charge me Bt30. This is a favourite strategy in Thailand - to form a cartel system - and this is what you will find in Phuket.
When I have been to Phuket it has been my experience that none of the tuk-tuk drivers will go anywhere for less than Bt100 which is absolutely ridiculous for Thailand. The strategy is that by enforcing the cartel, people then have no choice.
This works in Phuket where there are many foreigners, many of whom don't have a clue about things in Thailand. There's no way that Thais would put up with this nonsense.
Depending how quickly I want to get somewhere, I will sometimes just keep flagging down drivers until I get the right fare. Some will back down immediately if they give me an inflated fare and I tell them no thanks but some will flatly refuse to take me for the standard Thai fare.
Occasionally it's laughable. A few days ago I was told Bt50 for a Bt20 fare and the week before a tuk-tuk driver wanted Bt100 for a Bt30 fare. The best one ever, two or three years ago, was a guy who wanted Bt150 when it should have been Bt15.
The motorbikes they use (and even tuk-tuks, which run on LPG) drink miserly amounts of fuel and the drivers' time isn't exactly expensive. They congregate at little roadside shelters much of the time where they sleep, chat and doss around.
If they're not doing that they are just cruising around looking for fares which means using fuel while not earning any money.
I don't think I'm stingy and, frankly, whether I pay Bt20 or Bt30 is pretty much insignificant to my financial situation but, as with all forms of dual-pricing in Thailand, I just don't like being taken advantage of because of the colour of my skin or the belief that all foreigners are richer than all Thais so they can therefore pay more for everything.
Where I live I know how much fares should be. If I'm somewhere in Thailand I'm not familiar with I make a point of asking a local first. I can then figure out if a driver is trying to take advantage or not.
I wish that more foreigners in Thailand would take a stance but it's not going to happen. First of all, temporary tourists in Thailand don't know how much things should be and secondly, even if they get ripped off they still think it's cheap because it's cheaper than where they come from.
I have tried before to take a stance in Phuket but one stubborn farang means nothing when there are thousands of others who will just cough up. It's just another reason why I do my utmost best in Thailand to stay away from anywhere with lots of tourists.
Monday 2nd April 2007
What is it about farangs exactly that stray and pet dogs in Thailand object to? Can they visually detect differences in physical appearance? Their sense of smell is highly developed apparently so do we smell different?
Why do they completely ignore Thais but go nuts whenever a farang walks past? I've seen it happen with lots of other farangs so I know it's not only me. Sometimes it can be quite unnerving if there are a lot of dogs and it's late at night in a deserted area.
The local market where the illegal software is sold also sells a fine assortment of illegal weapons (well, they would be illegal in most parts of the world). Perhaps I should invest in a high-voltage stun gun or a telescopic nightstick to ward off unwelcome hounds? It's a thought.
Sunday 1st April 2007
I am going through quite an unsettled stage in Thailand at the moment. It has happened before and the feeling has passed but this time it seems a little different.
It would be easy at the moment to blame everything on the heat - it's no fun living in an oven - but there's more to it than that.
Ever since my first visit to Thailand 20 years ago I have loved the mysteriousness and exoticness of being in a country that is so different to the one I was born in. Travelling to other countries is probably the closest we can get to recovering our childhoods inasmuch as we start learning again and experiencing new things.
For many years there was nothing I enjoyed more than just wandering the streets of Thailand observing the normal Thai way of life. It was fascinating to me and I couldn't get enough. However, just recently it has all started to seem very familiar. Instead of being fascinating, it seems monotonous - even tedious at times.
On Friday I forced myself to go on a day trip to somewhere I hadn't been to before and ended up in Pak Bara which is the gateway to the islands in Satun province. The journey was quite interesting in parts but after a quick look around I was ready to go home.
I could probably fix this problem by exploring deeper into provincial and rural Thailand. One of the reasons I found Pak Bara so depressing was because of the hordes of bandana-wearing farang backpackers there being herded like sheep from minivan to ferry to guesthouse and back again in an ever recurring cycle.
It is their arrogance and contrived 'coolness' that bugs me. I don't like the way they stare and try to give the impression they are worldly-wise travellers completely in control of the situation (because they have a copy of the Lonely Planet guide to Thailand) when, in reality, they are deaf, mute, illiterate and lacking lots of knowledge in Thailand.
The trouble now is that my free time is limited due to work and - since the new immigration regulations came into force last year - my job has taken on increased significance. Without work I can't keep my work permit; without my work permit I won't be able to get another non-B visa; and if that happens it becomes difficult to remain permanently in Thailand. It's not impossible but there is a certain amount of hassle involved.
When I left the UK in September 2003 my plan was to travel fairly extensively before settling in Thailand but it didn't happen apart from a few fairly brief stops in Singapore, Perth, Bali and then travelling up the west coast of Malaysia. I knew beforehand where I wanted to be and that location happened to be my first stop in Thailand. I got comfortable very quickly and grew roots.
Recently, I have been quite concerned about my job contract not being extended again this year but perhaps it will be a good thing if it isn't? I'm not ready to leave Thailand permanently and I also know myself well enough to know that I require some kind of a base.
I could never be an itinerant traveller going from place to place carrying all of my possessions with me and not having a place that felt like home.
The new immigration regulations allow foreigners to stay in Thailand for 90 days in any six month period without a visa. I could keep hold of my room as a permanent base but travel around for the rest of the year. There are still lots of great places in the world I haven't been to yet.
My friend, Aor, the Thai massage therapist who works in a very upmarket spa is just about to start a one year contract in Lijiang, China. China - especially the east coast with its overcrowded, polluted cities - has never really appealed to me but Lijiang looks like a fantastic place.
It's the China I always wanted to experience but which I didn't think existed any more. Well, it does apparently. This site has some excellent photos. And Lijiang is just one example.
A few weeks ago I started running around fairly frantically looking for other jobs just in case my current one finishes. As a result, this month is going to be busy because I now have more work than I need or want.
However, what I have decided to do now is just let fate take its course. As one of my e-mail correspondents said recently, "As one door closes, another opens." He's right and by preventing the door from closing in Thailand, I am preventing other doors from opening.
An understanding of the Buddhist idea of impermanence has also helped me. By accepting that nothing in this world (people, places, health, material things, ideas, states of mind, experiences, etc.) is permanent, it helps to come to terms with life a little better. Make the most of what you have now because nothing stays the same forever.
And anyway, if I'm doing exactly the same thing next year as I'm doing now and get asked about this blog entry I can just say, look at the date.
As I came back from a late lunch today on the back of a motorcycle taxi I noticed a big traffic jam on the other side of the road. The cause of the jam was a public bus (the type without A/C) sideways across the road blocking all three lanes with its front wheels down a ditch.
I actually had my camera with me and I've been kicking myself all day for not asking the guy to stop so I could take a photo. It would have been a good follow-up photo after recent comments about driving standards in Thailand.
Some photographic evidence is always good to back up what I say just in case anyone thinks I make this stuff up. On the other hand, anyone with any experience of Thailand will know that the comments regarding driving standards are not made up.