Living In Thailand Blog
Thursday 15th August 2013
I am making slow progress with my book 'A History of Thailand' due to having a Thai wife, a young daughter, and a never ending list of things to do, but it continues to offer fascinating insights about Thai behaviour and how Thais see themselves. Many of these things still apply today.
A constant theme is greed and unfairness, with various different individuals and groups wanting a big piece of the pie while being quite unconcerned about other people having nothing. The book mentions how the army (sponsored by the US government) and police (sponsored by the CIA) were in competition to take advantage of lucrative monopolies and business patronage. An inequitable society, rivalries between various factions, and greedy politicians are still big problems in Thailand.
Another theme that keeps coming up is that of the Thai being a martial race - a race of warriors suitable for war - and that Thai history is defined by a series of wars. This aggression still exists, but is now concealed just below the surface.
To tourists and other occasional visitors it is unlikely to be seen, but it's there and doesn't take too much to come to the surface. All you have to do is talk to a Thai girl who has a jealous boyfriend in the background or retaliate at aggressive Thai drivers and you will see it. Simply by telling a minivan driver not to overload his van with passengers, or to slow down, will cause the red mist to descend. I speak from personal experience.
I've also heard comments over the years along the lines of Thais considering themselves to be a part of a superior race and that as a farang in Thailand you are looked down upon. Foreigners bring money into the country and thus there is a veneer or politeness and respect to protect the golden egg, but true feelings are different.
During the 1930's when National Socialism was growing in Germany, similar things were happening in Thailand under the dictatorship of Plaek Phibunsongkhram (Phibun), who assumed the role of Prime Minister in 1938. Phibun had based himself on Mussolini, who he considered to be one of history's great men, rather than Hitler.
His propaganda minister, Luang Wichit Wathakan, headed up a newly created Fine Arts Department and wrote poems to glorify the Thai nation.
Phibun's nickname, that I would transliterate as Bplairk, means 'strange' in Thai. This was because of his appearance, but his character was also strange. He wanted his portrait hung in every Thai home and I remember reading somewhere that he want the standard 'sawatdee' greeting to be changed to include his name.
He sent one of his people, who was half-German, to Germany to study the Nazi party and also set up a militarised youth movement that was based on the Hitler Youth.
There had previously been a strong sense of nationalism in the country with the Thai-Chinese singled out as scapegoats and labelled as 'The Jews of the East'. In July 1938, Wichit Wathakan gave a speech reviving this comparison between the Siamese Chinese and the European Jews.
Phibun's 'Thai Cultural Mandates' provide details of his thinking, how he perceived Thais, and how he perceived foreigners. Baker and Phongpaichit, the authors of the book, suggest that 'State Edicts' is a better translation than 'Cultural Mandates'.
Whatever the translation, this degree of nationalism and state control over the population is quite sinister.
Back to Wichit, and he described the Thai national character as constructive, detailed, aesthetical, and martial. I would suspect that foreigners living in Thailand might select a slightly different list of adjectives to describe the Thai national character. However, Thais don't see themselves as others see them.
From the book (according to Wichit):
Through this martial prowess, the Thai had become the dominant power in Suwannaphum, the golden peninsula. As a result of its advanced civilisation, 'Siam has become the heart of the Golden Peninsula, like Athens was the heart of Greece' and thus other races had 'come to settle ... within the boundaries of Siam'.
Even today, Thai school kids joke that their friends come from Laos or Burma, the humour deriving from the fact that Thais consider these to be inferior countries. Beneath the modest and unassuming exterior there really is an air of superiority.
There were also plans for nation building, based on the idea that all small nations would eventually be swallowed up by big ones and that it was better to swallow up than to be swallowed up. The government published maps that showed 'imagined boundaries of Thai kingdoms' and wanted to reclaim these 'lost' territories.
A few hundred years ago there were no borders and Southeast Asia wasn't divided into countries. There were 'centres of power' that changed over time. Angkor in present-day Cambodia was a power centre, and Sukothai, Ayuthaya and Bangkok have been power centres in Thailand at various times. There were others, of course, and the areas under the control of power centres sometimes overlapped.
During the colonial era, European colonial rulers divided the region into countries but the borders were disputed and problems have existed ever since. Thailand and Cambodia are still squabbling over border issues, especially where the ownership of temples near the border region is disputed.
During WW2 Thailand allied itself with Japan when Japan was doing well in the war, allowing Japanese troops to land in Thailand to gain access into British Malaya and Burma. As a reward, the Japanese allowed Thailand to 'reclaim' land from neighbouring countries, but after the war this land was returned. Thailand also switched sides when it realised that the side it had chosen originally was going to lose.
The border with Malaysia has been particularly fluid and this has been a big contributing factor to the ongoing problems in the deep south of Thailand.
Of all the countries I have spent time in, not one country conceals its true nature more than Thailand. The true nature of Thailand isn't particularly complex or sophisticated; it is just very well concealed and takes a lot of time and effort to uncover.
I think this is the main reason why so many foreign men run into problems with Thai females. I can't think of another country where foreign men have so many difficulties with local girls.
They arrive for a short vacation in a land that under the surface is immensely different to their own, but on the surface looks quite familiar. Straight away they get involved with females, who are normally the worst type of Thai females to get involved with, and by the time they have realised how different Thailand is to their country of origin they have normally lost a lot of money.
I had wanted this book for a long time because it is written by my favourite authors on Thailand. I couldn't find a copy for a long time, but after I did - eventually - it hasn't disappointed. If you have a genuine interest in Thailand and really want to understand how the the country ticks and what goes on below the surface, this is one of the books that I recommend highly.
Anything about Thailand written by Chris Baker and/or Pasuk Phongpaichit is well worth reading and in a few pages you will learn far more than you will endlessly reading Internet forums.
Wednesday 14th August 2013
The Pattaya Daily News is never short of a juicy story or too. The following links are all from this publication.
My brother has a house in Phuket and spends his weekends there. He likes a certain pub there that is run by a farang. The farang owner had a Thai wife, but she died recently. She was driving a motorbike when she hit a parked vehicle. This is another type of accident that occurs quite a lot in Thailand.
A farang tourist in Pattaya just did the same thing and eyewitnesses think he was drunk because the bike was swerving in the road. He was driving at high speed and probably wasn't wearing a crash helmet or any protective clothing. One foot was completely severed and Thai doctors are currently attempting to reattach it to his leg.
Tourist Severely Injured After Crashing Into A Boat Trailer
Running away after an accident is also common in Thailand. Newspaper reports about road (and also boat) accidents often contain the words, 'the driver fled the scene'. It happened again in this fatal car accident.
Car Crash Fatally Kills Teenage Girl
The driver of the car is from a wealthy family, apparently, so he won't be spending much time behind bars.
It doesn't take farangs long to pick up Thai driving habits. While riding his motorbike, this Russian - who looks quite aggressive in the photo - hit a pickup truck, assaulted the driver, and then fled the scene.
A Russian's Motorbike Collides With Pick - Up Car And Flees In Pattaya
When he was arrested he then started throwing insults at the police. Thailand really needs farangs like this in the country.
My wife told me that police had arrested the guy who shot his wife and girlfriend, as seen on Youtube. On Thai news it said that the girl had been playing Facebook and her boyfriend had got into a jealous rage because she had made contact with another man. So he shot her and her mum.
Another Thai man has just stabbed his girlfriend to death for the same reason. He became jealous and angry when she spoke to other men on her smartphone.
Taxi Driver Kills Girlfriend Out Of Jealousy In Nakhon Pathom
Thai men like this don't have much going for them. They aren't too bright, aren't accepted in society, have lousy jobs, and earn a pittance. This makes them very insecure. The only way they can prevent girls from leaving them is by bullying and intimidating the girls.
In many cases this works and even if the girl wants to get out of the relationship she won't because she is scared. I speak from personal experience after getting involved with a girl a few years ago with such a boyfriend. I wanted to be with her, she wanted to be with me, her mother didn't want her to be with her bullying boyfriend, but she didn't have the guts to leave him.
If bullying and intimidation don't work, some will resort to guns and knives.
Tuesday 13th August 2013
Lots of fairs are held in Thailand, but they tend to get a bit boring after a while. They have different names - and supposedly different purposes - but at each fair you see the same mediocre food and products being sold.
The best local fair we have is the annual Agricultural Fair, which is held at the Prince of Songkla University's Hat Yai campus. It is quite large and there are many things that are worth buying. A lot of the furniture and handicrafts for sale come from Chiang Mai. For some reason, craftwork from the Chiang Mai region seems so much better than from anywhere else in Thailand and some very attractive goods are produced in northern Thailand. These things aren't normally available locally and so the fair represents a limited opportunity to buy some attractive items for the house and garden.
The fair is currently running and I went last night. My wife selected a couple of floor-standing wooden vases made from the wood of mango trees and today filled them with artificial flowers. Thailand has a big artificial flower industry and some of the flowers are so realistic that you have to look hard to see if they are real or not.
The mango wood has a distinctive smell. It isn't as pleasing to my nostrils as teak or sandalwood, but it is earthy and pleasant in its own way. The vases weren't that expensive. She also picked out some jasmine plants and pomegranate trees for the garden. My attempt at growing tomatoes was a failure and now the tomato plants have been replaced with fruit. We have mango, guava (farang), papaya, and now pomegranate. The trees are all quite young and haven't borne fruit yet, but hopefully there should be some fruit in a year or two.
The fair, as its name suggests, has an agricultural bias, but there is a lot more. Farmers can buy tractors and fertiliser, and owners of para rubber plantations can buy mangles. However, there are lots of plants and trees, pets, furniture, artwork, handicrafts, food, and many of the local car and motorbike dealers have stands.
Apart from the huge crowds and parking being difficult, it's very worthwhile attending. We plan to go again tomorrow during the daytime when there should be less people. I hate traffic jams and big crowds. It wasn't much fun, either, carrying everything back to the car, which was parked about half a kilometre away.
Most of the many road accident scenes I have witnessed in Thailand haven't been fatal. A few have, and there was another last night as we went to the fair. It was quite upsetting and I still can't get it out of my head.
To get to the fair requires driving on a couple of open roads where many Thai drivers drive at crazy speeds. It really is frightening how fast and aggressively they drive, and how close they drive to the vehicle in front.
There was a traffic jam where there is normally never a traffic jam and so we knew that something had happened. The police and rescue recovery services had already arrived. The traffic was single file where the accident had taken place and in the middle of the road was a stationary Mitsubushi Pajero, a large SUV based on a pickup truck chassis.
As we went past we saw the victim lying in the road in front of the Mitsubishi covered completely with a white sheet. We couldn't ascertain the age or gender of the victim. They only do this with fatalities. With injured people they administer first aid and then drive the victims to a local hospital.
The front of the SUV had suffered some serious collision damage, which tells me that the accident took place at high speed and that it was an intense collision.
Many Thai motorcyclists don't bother with crash helmets, even on dangerous roads, but in a collison like this the best safety helmet in the world wouldn't have made any difference. I just hope that there wasn't also a young child on the bike, as there often is in Thailand.
My wife got upset and covered her eyes with her hands. It's one thing reading dry statistics about road deaths, but another thing seeing a corpse lying in the road just a few feet away and to think that half an hour earlier this person was alive and well.
Being Mothers' Day I also thought about the victim's mother. Nothing in life can be worse than the loss of a child.
I apologise for going on about this so much, but why is this there so much senseless loss of life on Thai roads? With a population just a little larger than the UK population, why do Thais find it perfectly acceptable to have a road death fatality rate seven times as high as the UK?
Thai drivers see what I see and every Thai has a close relative or relative that was killed in a road accident. Why then do they continue to drive like lunatics, and from a wider perspective why does Thai society at large not do anything to reduce the carnage?
Why? Why? Why? Ever since I arrived to live in Thailand I have never had much success getting answers to 'Why?' questions.
I wasn't really able to deduce how the accident had happened or whose fault it was, but the majority of road accidents in Thailand are the result of excessive speed and stupidity. I don't suppose that this one was any different.
The motorbike shouldn't have been in the lane where the crash occurred. He, or she, may have been trying to get across the road and the SUV was probably going too fast. Lots of Thai drivers completely ignore traffic laws, and motorcyclists act as if traffic laws don't even apply to them.
My wife was telling me that in the event of a fatal accident in Thailand the person who survives the accident must give money to the victim's family to help pay for the funeral costs. Even if it wasn't the fault of the SUV driver, and even if he has fully comprehensive insurance, he must still pay.
This doesn't seem fair to me, but this - apparently - is how it is in Thailand. She told me that one of her brothers was involved in a motorbike accident when he was a teenager. It wasn't his fault, but the other kid was killed and he had to pay up.
I have often remarked that Thais live on the edge of chaos, and they really seem to relish this. Perhaps it brings some excitement into otherwise boring lives? Driving back from the fair last night was about as chaotic as it gets in this part of Thailand.
It was the last day of a long weekend and there were a number of things happening. For starters, the Agricultural Fair draws tens of thousands of people. It is held opposite a large, busy branch of Tesco Lotus, and just along the road are the night market and a fairly large second-hand market. At the end of this year a huge Central Festival will open and the crowds will get even larger.
There were thousands of motorbikes, with anything between one and five people on each bike. So many people riding motorbikes weren't wearing crash helmets that you would be forgiven for thinking it is optional in Thailand. It's actually mandatory by law, but that means nothing in Thailand. You see many things on Thai roads when it is chaotic like this, but the one thing you don't see is anyone enforcing traffic laws.
As I was approaching some traffic lights, a guy wobbling all over the place on a motorbike fell against my near-side front wing taking another chunk of paint with him. I don't know if he was drunk, on drugs, or just incompetent. I got out to look at the damage, but it was dark, and I didn't see the ding until this morning.
It was a huge relief to get home. It was never a relief to get home when we lived in a rented townhouse. The house was located in a decidedly lo-so area and the chaos never stopped. Even when we were home there were still neighbours screaming at each other or playing music at high volume, and motorbikes and pickup trucks roaring past just a few feet from the front of the house.
Our new house is a world away from the madness outside and an oasis of peace and calm. As soon as we turn into the development it is liking driving into another world. We have few neighbours, and the neighbours we have are very quiet and considerate. I think this house has prevented me from going insane.
I have always preferred a quieter life and perhaps I have become more sensitive as I've got older. I can't tolerate the way that many Thais carry on, especially from the lower socioeconomic classes. They may thrive on loud music and the constant roar of high speed motorbikes and trucks racing around the streets, but I'm sure that if I had to endure this every day I would eventually suffer from some kind of a nervous breakdown.
Monday 12th August 2013
18-wheeled truck crash blocks traffic from Kamala to Patong
2 Teenagers Beat Up Tourist Couple in Phuket
Saturday 10th August 2013
Every country in the world has good and bad points. Some characteristics of countries are well known, whereas others aren't.
The English news channel that I watch in Thailand is Channel News Asia. It has a bias towards Singapore because it is based in Singapore, but it also covers global and regional issues. There is quite a lot of focus on India.
Recently, there was a feature on Devi Shetty, the Indian heart surgeon. He is doing for heart surgery what Henry Ford did for car production - turning it into a production line. This is a good thing for a number of reasons.
When surgeons are doing the same procedure repeatedly, they get quicker as well as doing a better job. With a hospital performing lots of operations they are able to take advantage of economies of scale, and can negotiate good prices for the equipment that is needed.
The price now is about US$1,800 for heart surgery, but Dr Shetty believes he can get it down to US$1,000 or even US$800. With heart problems being such a big cause of death, this is great news for a lot of people.
Years ago I read about an American who needed heart surgery, but he had no insurance. He couldn't afford to get the surgery done in the States and would have died. He went to have it done in Thailand and the cost was about US$10,000. Thailand's health system saved his life.
There are good things about India, but also many problems. In the last year there have been some high profile rape cases involving Indian and foreign women and it has highlighted the problems with sexual violence against women in the country.
Today Channel News Asia ran a story about the problem with acid attacks in India. This is a huge problem in India, and to a lesser extent in Pakistan. Acid is thrown in the faces of victims and it disfigures - and possibly disables - them for life.
There was also an article about the filthy beaches in Mumbai (Bombay).
Thailand too has good and bad points and there is nothing I enjoy more than highlighting the good points. I also highlight the bad points. I don't do this to make Thailand look bad. Not at all. It is my reaction against the travel industry that has its own agenda and sterilises everything about the country.
They are only concerned with short-term tourism and their only objective is to make money. Before I came to live in Thailand I knew nothing about the country, despite having visited as a tourist several times, and there was very little good information available about living in Thailand.
The Internet has changed all that and since around the late 90's a lot of information has appeared on-line. This can only be a good thing.
My intention has never been to make Thailand look bad, but I was sick to the back teeth with the 'Land of Smiles' nonsense and two-week tourists banging on about how 'nice' Thais are, based on the staff in their hotel. There are indeed lots of very pleasant, morally good Thais, but there are also quite a few bad ones.
It was quite disturbing to read that Vietnam has banned bloggers from sharing new items and talking about current events. Any attempts by governments to control freedom of speech and freedom of expression are always concerning.
28 Russian tourists injured in Thai bus accident
If crime in Thailand concerns you, the best way to mitigate the risk is to go to places where is less criminal activity.
The book 'Corruption and Democracy in Thailand' states that in terms of crime statistics the three worst provinces in Thailand are Chonburi, Nakhon Sri Thammarat and Petchburi.
The problems in Petchburi are because of its location. Its fishing port is used for smuggling, there are tracks through the forest to Burma, and it is close to Bangkok. The book also says, 'Petchburi is notorious as the gunman capital of Thailand'.
Nakhon Sri Thammarat doesn't attract too many tourists, but it has always had a wild reputation. I've been there on a number of occasions and have never had a problem, but some stories I have heard from friends who come from Nakhon would seem to confirm the reputation. Nakhon is where my wife was born and I don't argue with her.
Chonburi, like Petchburi, is on the coast and near Bangkok. This is where the insane gunman shot his girlfriend and her mother. It is also where Pattaya is located. Pattaya attracts both criminal Thais and criminal foreigners.
A lot of what goes on in Pattaya doesn't get reported in the national news. However, the Pattaya Daily News website is full of stories about criminal activity in Pattaya.
An Australian beaten in Pattaya
Another place that has a reputation is Samui Island. Phuket is technically an island, but it is so close to the mainland that you hardly notice the strip of sea between it and the mainland. Conversely, Samui is quite a long way from the mainland and it tends to be a bit of a law unto itself.
Phuket attracts wealthy foreigners and is the wealthiest province in Thailand. It therefore attracts bad people, both Thai and foreign. The Phuket Gazette is the website to visit to see what is going on in Phuket. I also get the impression that Phuket has one of the worst road accidents rates in Thailand, although I haven't seen any statistics.
As with anywhere in the world, other parts of Thailand are certainly not crime-free, but the criminality in certain parts of the country is a lot worse than in others.
Friday 9th August 2013
I was working outside today and noticed a few stripy mosquitoes trying to land on and bite me. These are the ones that carry dengue fever and they are active during the daytime, whereas normal mosquitoes are normally only active from dusk to dawn.
The stripy ones are more aggressive than regular mosquitoes and because of their fast, undulating flight they are quite tricky to swat. By the time I had grabbed my can of insect spray, they had gone.
The Nation says that 87,533 Thais were infected by dengue fever from January to July this year. That's quite a lot. Out of that total, 83 people died from the infection, most of whom already had an underlying chronic disease.
The fatality rate of 0.09% isn't particularly high, but by all accounts it isn't a pleasant disease to contract. It causes intense joint and muscle pain, and used to be referred to as 'breakbone fever'. Those most at risk are young children, fat kids, pregnant women and old people. Our daughter is a young child, my wife is pregnant, and I'm old, so it worries me a little.
The Nation highlighted ten provinces where there is an increasing rate of infection: Chiang Mai, Chiang Rai, Si Saket, Bangkok, Surin, Tak, Buri Ram, Roi Et, Chon Buri and Khon Kaen.
Dengue fever claims 83 fatalities
Watch out for those stripy mosquitoes.
Here is something else that professional travel writers never tell you about in their flowery, rose-tinted prose.
Guide books can serve a purpose, but the publishers' only concern is selling guide books. The best way to do this is first to create romanticised versions of countries and once they have sold the dream, people will then buy their books. All the bad stuff gets left out because it doesn't sell books.
There are a lot of unlicensed guns in Thailand and, unfortunately, lots of people with low intellects who are stupid enough to use them. After gunning down his fiancee and future mother-in-law in cold blood, this guy did a little dance as he left the scene of the crime.
This is the reason why I only drive when it is essential these days, and the reason why I have had to force myself not to react when Thai drivers cut me up and force their way into traffic queues, etc. As I have been told many times by Thais, you never know who has a gun in Thailand and those people with guns aren't afraid to use them.
The majority of Thais are fine, but you are more likely to meet bad Thais and get into altercations on Thailand's roads than anywhere else. Most madness in Thailand happens on the roads.
Thais use similar expressions to Westerners, except that they normally replace 'head or mind' with 'heart'. Whereas Westerners would describe some people as being 'hot-headed', the Thai expression is 'jai rawn' (hot heart) and many Thai males, especially those driving pickup trucks, are 'jai rawn'.
I have even seen signs placed on bridges above roads that tell drivers not to be 'jai rawn' while driving. Signs, of course, are completely ineffective because the bad people simply ignore them. What is really needed is some strict law enforcement, but this will never happen in Thailand.
Welcome to the Wild East.
Thai man shooting his fiancee and her mother (Youtube clip)
Here's how the Bangkok Post reported the story.
Man kills lover and her mother
Thursday 8th August 2013
When writing stuff like this I am most productive between 7am and 9am. If I am left alone for a couple of hours in the morning I can get a lot done.
The problem is that I am never left alone. This time should be free because I don't have to prepare to go to work, but my wife always makes sure that I have things to do. This morning she wanted me to go with her while taking our daughter to nursery. I don't know why, but in order to maintain a quiet life I went. She also wanted to go to one of the local fresh markets.
There are lots of big supermarkets and small minimarts in Thailand, but Thais still like to shop at the traditional markets. They are plentiful and can be found all over Thailand. Western tourists also seem to like them, probably because they are different to anything at home and because they provide a taste of traditional Thailand.
I enjoyed them at first, but after you have been hundreds of times the novelty starts to wear off. I had my camera with me and while my wife went food shopping I wandered around to take a few photos. This resulted in lots of, "Farang ty roop," comments (the Westerner is taking a photo).
Every single Thai in Thailand can tell that I am a Westerner and every single Thai in Thailand can tell that I am taking a photo if I hold my camera up, but nonetheless they still feel an irrestible urge to tell people. I don't know why this is.
In addition, they never expect foreigners to be able to understand what they are saying and they never expect foreigners to answer back in Thai.
The fresh fruit and vegetables, herbs and spices at these markets always look pretty good. Even the fish, if there aren't a million flies on it, looks OK and the poultry doesn't look too bad.
One thing I have always had a problem with is pork ... and Thais love pork. Every part of the pig is displayed and many parts don't look at all attractive. It's about the coolest time of the year now, but when it's hot there is a distinct odour that comes from dead pigs and this also attracts a lot of flies.
I never had a problem eating pork before I came to Thailand - and even now I eat hygienic bacon and ham from supermarkets - but I don't like eating pork that has come from fresh markets. Many small restaurants in Thailand but their ingredients from the local fresh markets to keep costs down.
This brings me on to one of the things that irritates me in Thailand. It irritates me to varying degrees depending on the kind of mood I am in when it happens. It happened again last night.
We went to a restaurant last night and I chose Spaghetti Bolognese. The type of meat wasn't specified on the menu and I had doubts about it being beef because beef is quite rare in Thailand. I asked the waitress in Thai. She told me it was pork.
I replied that I didn't want pork. She asked a colleague and was told they could change it to chicken. Great, so I went ahead with my order. She went off to the kitchen to tell the cook, however, the cook had a question.
And now comes the part that always irritates me.
Bear in my mind that the previous conversation between myself and the waitress had taken place entirely in Thai. She came back to our table and started speaking softly in my wife's ear. I leaned forward so that I could hear what she was saying and it was about my order.
WTF did this have to do with my wife? I ordered the food. Speak to me. I told her in Thai to speak to me. This happens all the time and it is what I refer to as a triangular conversation.
I speak to a Thai, in Thai, and ask a question. They understand perfectly, but refuse to direct their answer back to me. Instead, they tell the Thai I am with (usually my wife) and she then tells me in Thai. It's absolute ridiculous.
Sometimes I check in a mirror to make sure that I haven't suddenly turned invisible because this is what it feels like. It's as if they can hear me, but can't see me.
I find this kind of behaviour extreme rude and get angry. My wife can't see the problem and if I start to get angry she just calls me kee grote (person with a proclivity to become angry).
Had I demonstrated that I couldn't speak and didn't understand Thai, this would be acceptable, but we were just speaking Thai a few minutes previously. Why wouldn't she speak to me?
The majority of Thais have very little self-confidence, especially when dealing with foreigners and especially if they need to speak English (mai glaa poot). One of the most difficult things when teaching English in Thailand is getting your students to actually say something.
Even though she didn't need to speak English, I guess the fact that I was a foreigner was enough to destroy her confidence. They are strange people at times.
And the query from the cook? She usually makes the sauce with pork and ham. When changing it to chicken, did I want chicken and sausage or just chicken? Easy. It was an easy question to understand and answer.
On a few other occasions when eating in restaurants by myself, I haven't even got to this stage. After sitting down at a table the waitresses won't talk to me, won't give me a menu, and won't even come near me ... simply because I am a foreigner and they don't have the confidence to deal with foreigners.
Following my own thoughts about visiting and living in Bangkok, the BBC published the following article. It's written in the style of a typical 'travel article' and there is not a mention of any of the crap that goes on in Thailand every single day.
Maybe I am too negative in my outlook, but at least I try to be honest. If you just read articles like this and look at pretty pictures of Thailand in glossy coffee table books you won't have a clue about what it is really like to live in the country permanently.
I also received the following feedback from a British expat who has lived in Bangkok for five years. He is a real resident and not a paid travel writer. See if you can spot any differences.
On Bangkok: yes, it's a great place to visit if you are here only for a few days, but to live here, work here, and walk to work every day (as I do) is often incredibly annoying and exasperating.
Bangkok (apart from the superb modernised central areas with the wonderful shopping malls) is a dump (literally): unbelievable sewage smells waft up to one's nostrils on a frequent basis; rats and cockroaches (the giant kind) run around everywhere; pavements are essentially no-go areas (although I do my best!), due to all the mad motorbike riders zooming along them, and the cars (increasingly), as well as the ubiquitous food stalls proffering a shrivelled up orange and a couple of shrunken bananas (I don't know why they bother).
Above all, you have the peasant attitude of the people as you walk along and get cold-stared at, as though they had never seen a Westerner before (BKK is nominally a world capital, but its attitudes are decidedly provincial, abounding as it does with so many peasants everywhere).
On the plus side - yes, there are magnificent shops and shopping malls (which I love), and good restaurants too; the taxis are amazingly cheap, as you say, and the BTS is reasonably good for getting you around the main areas of BKK at a very cheap price (although these days the BTS is permanently crowded, as they have added extra stations, without adding sufficient additional rolling stock - usual Thai 'planning').
I only live in BKK because this is where the money is and I do genuinely like my place of work (I get on well with my colleagues and my students). But believe me, I can't wait to live in provincial Thailand and then visit BKK occasionally: then it is fun - I agree with you.
Wednesday 7th August 2013
Since starting this site several years ago, quite a few foreign men have written to me about Thai girls. There have been a few success stories, but the failures far outweigh the successes.
Most men, I'm afraid to say, don't have a clue. They come to Thailand for a few weeks, meet girls (normally the wrong kind of girls), and think they know everything. Most are of a certain age and have a lot of life experience in the countries where they come from. They seem to think that they can transfer this knowledge across to Thailand, but it doesn't work like that. After you arrive to live in Thailand, you then start learning all over again and it takes several years to learn even a little.
I always take these e-mails seriously, but normally there comes a part where my eyes start to roll. He is 65, she is 19, she's from Isaan, he met her in a bar in Phuket/Pattaya/Samui, she genuinely loves him and isn't like all the other girls, she hates what she does for a living but it is the only way she can support her family, all she wants to do is marry him and live happily ever after.
These relationships normally end quite quickly after he has been taken back to Isaan to meet the parents and to arrange the wedding. He receives a long list of the family's financial requirements and after he tells them that he doesn't have the money he gets thrown out while she goes back to the bar to try to find a richer farang. Sorry, what was all that about true love?
Some men are a lot smarter. They get drawn in quite a long way before realising that they are being set up for a big scam and decide to get out before they've lost too much money.
With the men I know who have successful relationships with Thai girls, I don't know any who met their partners in bars in tourist resorts. They are (or were) all English teachers who met their wives through work. In England I wouldn't seek out prostitutes if I was looking for a wife, but this is what often happens with foreign men in Thailand.
It's strange, but then again it isn't. The girls working as prostitutes in Thailand are very different to prostitutes elsewhere and they deceive men who don't understand Thailand. The bottom line, which should never be forgotten, is that they are still prostitutes and by choosing (yes, it was a choice) to go into that line of work they have implicitly stated that nothing is more important to them in life than money. Buyer beware.
Some men have written with advice based on their experiences with Thai women. Some of the advice has been quite valid, while other advice has been cynical based on bad experiences. One guy wrote to tell me that marriages between farang men and Thai girls never last more than four years.
I know foreign men who have been happily married to Thai women for a lot longer than that and next week will be my third wedding anniversary. (August is a very popular month for weddings in Thailand.) My marriage is stronger than it has ever been at the moment and I hope this continues.
It wasn't easy at first, and my relationships with other Thai girls before I was married were never easy at first. Money is usually the biggest problem and there is a general misconception among many Thais that foreigners have access to unlimited funds - a bottomless pit of money.
To some, marrying a farang is like buying a winning lottery ticket and they can finally say goodbye to poverty. This lust for your money can really wear you down.
Foreign men, generally, marry poor Thai girls. Rich Thai girls don't usually have any interest in, and don't usually marry farangs because their families already have money. They marry Thai or Thai/Chinese men from similarly wealthy families. There are exceptions, of course, but I am talking generally.
My wife was a teacher from a poor rural family whose parents worked the land growing fruit, para rubber, and oil palm. Her four older brothers were all sent to Bangkok to do vocational training learning how to fix cars and they now all have car related businesses.
One older sister is a seamstress and sits at home all day working her sewing machines. Another sister is quite bright and works for an insurance company. She was desperate to go to university, but the family couldn't afford to send her. She started work and when she had some money saved she studied for a degree at the weekends.
It must have been really tough and I admire her for doing it. She still has a tough life. Her husband works in Phuket and only comes home rarely. She works full time while bringing up two young children on her own. This is no easy task.
The other sister has more of a charmed life, but she still has problems. She married an older guy who runs a business delivering large truckloads of soil to people. With all the flooding problems in Thailand lots of land is raised by a metre or two by adding huge amounts of soil before buildings are built. He owns big trucks and his business is quite successful.
The problem my sister-in-law has had is with his infidelity. He has quite a history of being unfaithful and has fathered children with quite a few different women.
My wife is the youngest of eight (her parents didn't have a TV and got bored at night) and she is the only person in the family who went to university full-time. This has been both good and bad for me. She's 21 years younger than me, but because of her many older siblings she feels more comfortable around older people.
The problem is that she has always been the spoilt baby of the family. She has never had to do anything herself because there was always an older brother or sister to do it for her. She has never really got out of this habit and still expects me to do a lot of things that really she should do herself.
Having a child made her grow up, and the problems with our daughter's feet that we have tackled together have helped the relationship to bond. There's nothing like a bit of adversity to bring people closer together.
All marriages need a lot of work, but because of this thing referred to as 'culture gap' mixed marriages require even more work. When you first meet a Thai girl she will treat you so well that it seems perfect. This phase only lasts until she has got what she wants and then things change. That's the time when it takes a lot of effort to keep things together.
The girls can be very frustrating. With my wife, I know for an absolute fact that the life she has now is inordinately better than the life she would have had if she hadn't met me. However, there are times when nothing is enough and she is never satisfied.
I talk a lot about belief and value systems in this blog because I think these are more accurate terms to describe the differences in the way people think and behave than simply using 'culture gap'. Her belief and value systems are very different to mine and these things can cause issues.
With beliefs, some things are trivial. For example, when we moved into our house there were many important things that needed doing (some things still need doing). In her mind, the most important thing when we moved in was to install a spirit shelf on the landing. Even though spirit shelves have no part to play in my own personal belief system, this was easy to do, it made her happy, and it didn't bother me.
Some other things are slightly more annoying. Thai women gossip incessantly and there are endless superstitious urban legends and old wives' tales running around.
If we take our daughter outside at night, my wife insists that she must wear a hat otherwise she will be struck down by some kind of deadly disease. In southern Thailand the temperature doesn't go down much at night and sometimes I can see that the poor kid is really hot, but I'm not allowed to remove her hat.
After our daughter was born I had genuine concerns for my two poor cats. Every Thai woman that came to the house told my wife that having cats in the same house as a baby meant instant death to the child.
This is another old wives' tale that does the rounds in Thailand and my wife accepts most things she is told without stopping to think. I imagined she would insist that the cats had to go, but after a while when she realised that the cats weren't causing any harm and she let it go.
Even now I occasionally hear Thai women telling her the same thing and I can feel the little volcano inside my body starting to erupt.
They hear something, accept it as fact without thinking or checking, and then pass on the rumour. Before you know it. some stupid old wives' tale is then written in stone as absolute fact. It annoys me.
We don't have too many problems with our different value systems, apart from one quite big issue. She has a good moral compass and a very good sense of what is wrong and what is right. This, I like.
We have enough in common not to have major issues. For both of us, our daughter is the most important thing in our lives and her needs come before our own.
We are both in bed asleep before some Thai girls are even thinking about going out for the night. I made sure of some basic things before we married and had no interest in marrying a party girl who wanted to drink all night and sleep all day.
The biggest problem is with her family. When she uses the term 'my family' that doesn't include me or our daughter. Her 'family' is her parents and siblings.
Westerners start new families after they marry and have children. Thai girls don't and remain tied to their mothers' apron strings. This goes beyond just visiting occasionally.
Her father is still in hospital and she has spent a lot of time at the hospital recently. She says that two people need to be there all the time, just in case he wants to move. This has been her top priority and more important than any of my needs or doing things around the house, etc.
The state old age pension in Thailand is Bt500 per month and most Thais don't have any kind of an occupational pension. Salaries are so low that many don't (indeed, can't) save any money for their retirements.
They work for as long as they can, and when they can no longer work the only support they get is from their children. Thais are therefore indoctrinated from a very young age with the belief that their most important duty is to take care of their parents for life. It's understandable to some extent, but for Western men married to Thai women the constant attachment to their families can be quite frustrating.
With many Thai girls they also expect their foreign husbands to support their families financially. If a relative has a serious health problem and receives a big hospital bill, guess who is expected to pay?
I don't have this problem, but it doesn't mean that some of the money I give my wife for herself and to run the house doesn't get siphoned off to her parents.
Maybe I'm being harsh, or just too Western, but considering that I support my wife completely I don't like being relegated to second or third place whenever her relatives are around.
The very first time that her mother came to stay with us, my wife told me that she would be sleeping with her mother instead of me! This is just how Thai girls are and it is something that you have to learn to live with.
When I first thought about buying a house I wanted to move to Chiang Rai. I like it up there and property and land is a lot cheaper, thus your money goes a lot further. She wanted to stay close to her family, so we didn't move to another region.
Sometimes I wish I had put my foot down and insisted on moving. Admittedly, it is useful sometimes having her family around because they do help, but I just wish that she would back off a little and put more focus on her new family.
Overall, I am quite content and my life now is far more satisfying and rewarding than when I was single. I get frustrated at times when I don't have any time to myself, but overall family life suits me better personally than being single. It's a personal thing and we are all different.
The other thing is that as a foreigner in Thailand you are restricted by law from doing certain things, such as buying houses. Through my marriage I have been able to do a lot more and without my wife I couldn't have the house I live in now that gives me so much pleasure.
I read years ago that a good marriage is better than being single, but a bad marriage is worse than being single. That applies especially in Thailand where there is a lot more at stake if you have a bad marriage.
It's unfortunate that so many foreign men get it hopelessly wrong when looking for Thai girls. Many foreign men actually seem to be attracted to the girls adorned with tattoos and bargirl clothes, and you can see that for most of them it's all going to end in tears eventually.
Tuesday 6th August 2013
What a great place Thailand is. I don't know why foreigners living in the country complain so much :)
Yesterday, our local motorbike mechanic fixed the electric start on my wife's motorbike for Bt30. I felt quite embarrassed handing over such a paltry amount. The Honda dealership where she got her car serviced today were super efficient, professional, and did a good job ... although the cost was slightly more than Bt30.
Recently, a very helpful man working for Ford in Bangkok helped me to locate the part number for a replacement switch to open my sunroof. The old one had been faulty for ages, but originally I was told that the whole console unit had to be replaced at a cost of Bt9,000. At this price I chose not to get the work done and couldn't work out why everything had to be replaced instead of just the faulty switch.
He tracked down the part number, called me back as he had promised, and also contacted my local dealership to arrange for the part to be sent. He spoke good English and was very customer focused. It was a good experience. Being able to buy the switch by itself meant I could get the work done a lot cheaper and now I can use my sunroof.
A spring in our mop bucket that spins the mop around to get rid of excess water broke. I couldn't find the receipt, but took it back to Thai Wasadu on Sunday to see if they would do anything. They fixed it on site in a couple of hours without even asking for the receipt. More great service.
HomePro is a great store and I spend about half my income there. They have some excellent products and the service is generally very good. I put some shelves up recently, but had a few problems with parts. They replaced them straight away. I then bought another pump for my fishpond, along with some PVC pipe and other bits and pieces. The staff were very helpful with my queries and in helping me to select the parts that I needed.
I like the small restaurant inside HomePro and we eat there fairly often. After about our third visit the staff started to treat us like VIPs. My daughter (strange kid) loves raw tomatoes and the restaurant staff picked up on this. Now, whenever we order our meals we also get a free bowl of sliced tomatoes on the side. A lot of kindness is shown in Thailand and - if you ignore driving - there are lot of thoughtful, kind people in the country.
I installed my new fishpond pump yesterday and much to my surprise all my plumbing worked without any problems or leaks. In fact, it all works far better than I had anticipated. I needed another power socket and the electrician who works on site within our housing development turned up very quickly and did the work for me.
I talked to some other contractors today about some other things I want done to the fishpond and they are ready and eager to help as soon as my wife has made up my mind.
It's easy to complain about the things that go wrong, but there are times in Thailand - just as there are everywhere else - where everything seems to go very well and the people that you deal with are great.
It feels good. I am back to full health and that also feels good. I am a very active person and the worst thing about being ill is not being able to do anything. When I had breathing difficulties recently it was a real effort to do even the simplest things, such as walking upstairs.
As I said previously, the dentist finished work on my tooth last week and everything is fine. The crown feels like an original tooth. No food is getting stuck and there is no pain. I feel even more enthusiastic about Thai dentists than I did before, and my enthusiasm for Thai dentists was already high.
The weather has also started to change. There was a huge storm yesterday with thunder, lightning and torrential rain just as I was putting the fishpond back together.
Now that we live in a house that isn't prone to flooding - as the last one was - being indoors during a big storm is quite enjoyable. (It certainly isn't enjoyable if there is a real possibility that your house will flood.)
The cooler weather that has arrived is very welcome and I can feel my energy levels increasing with every cool breeze that blows. The long hot season in southern Thailand gets a bit much at times.
As I said recently, I only drive now when it is essential. Driving in Thailand causes me all sorts of anguish and the less I drive on Thai roads the better. I have also changed my attitude because foreigners can't change anything here and it isn't worth getting high blood pressure, or worse, over things that are outside your sphere of control.
What I think about Thai drivers, and what I say to myself, hasn't changed but I resist the urge to confront them now. Karma will catch up with them sooner or later.
I need to thank a reader from Malaysia who contacted me when I mentioned before that I had an algae problem with my pond. He is quite an expert with fishponds and gave me some good pointers.
The basic house design included a fishpond and we simply went ahead with the basic design without deleting the pond, as some other people did. I have never maintained a fishpond before and was forced on to a rapid learning curve. Initially, the water was turning green in about four days and this wasn't acceptable as the pond is a feature at the front of the house.
It has been frustrating at times and a lot of work. However, it has also been fun gaining experience and at times very satisfying when something goes right.
Life in Thailand is very good at the moment. It's also useful to remind myself what life would be like if I were still in the UK. I have never been back to the since I left in 2003.
I keep reading about how millions of Brits are 'struggling with money' and 'living on the edge'. With the economy in such a mess, the demands of the welfare system, and the price of everything in the UK so expensive it isn't really surprising. I certainly have no intention of going back.
I also received an e-mail from an old friend about driving in the UK these days. He's an ex-copper who then went on to head up the security department for a multinational car company.
I will make no further comment on the driving in Thailand, similarly, driving standards have deteriorated considerably in the UK since you left. This is at odds with the high cost of insurance for younger drivers. Traffic volumes have increased noticeably as has the number of young (30-ish) female drivers who now all seem to drive large 4 x 4's or fast saloons and sit right on your tail, they don't seem to understand braking distances or potential hazards, their minds appear to be elsewhere.
There are not even a quarter of the number of Traffic Officers on the road compared to 10 years ago, (Police numbers cut by Government) so there is no deterrent there, this all adds up to low level warfare on the roads and people driving like idiots, there is simply no courtesy nowadays.
What can I say? There is a tendency when you have been away from your home country for a long time to focus on the bad things in your adopted country, and to remember things in your home country more positively than they actually are.
Feeling very positive about my life in Thailand right now.
Monday 5th August 2013
In status conscious Thailand the biggest status symbol for Thais, by far, is owning a car. I have seen expensive cars parked outside houses that are little more than corrugated slums. For many Thais, having a car is a lot more important than living in decent accommodation. For me it is exactly the opposite, but my values are very different to those of most Thais.
When I used to work at the local university there were staff earning around Bt10,000 a month who used to pay around Bt8,000 a month in car payments. They had to do as much overtime as they could, they had to live with their parents, and they had very little money left over each month. But they had a car and that was all that mattered.
Thailand has quite a big population, about 70 million people, and it is quite a large country with a land area approximately equivalent to that of France. If the population was distributed evenly across the country it would be a comfortable living environment. But it isn't.
There are vast tracts of agricultural and other land, which are uninhabited, and there are a number of densely populated urban areas. Bangkok is the worst example, but even in provincial towns and cities most of the population is packed into a small central area with almost nothing just a few kilometres out.
During rush hour Hat Yai becomes a smaller version of Bangkok with every road gridlocked, but if you drive out of the city for a few minutes in any direction all the traffic disappears.
In developed countries governments look at ways of reducing traffic in order to improve the environment and get a better quality of living. In Thailand governments look at ways of getting votes and populist policies are good vote-getters.
In a country where people are obsessed with owning a car, making it Bt100,000 cheaper to buy a car would be a very popular policy and this is what happened. To the government's credit, this didn't apply to all cars but only to cars categorised as eco-cars. These cars are limited to an engine size of 1.2 litres and there are requirements for fuel consumption.
The deal also only applied to first-time car buyers and I think it finished at the beginning of this year. I think the campaign was quite successful and it put a lot more cars on Thailand's already overcrowded roads.
At the school where I used to work there weren't too many cars and most of the teachers arrived at work by motorbike. I was told that many of them now have cars and that parking is a real problem at the school.
The government offer may have ended, but there is still a huge demand for cars and many people can't really afford to buy them. As a result, the car manufacturers and finance companies have now stepped in.
TV adverts are appearing offering new eco-cars, such as the Honda Brio, for a monthly payment of Bt3,300. Thinking that the maximum loan term would be 84 months, I did some quick mental arithmetic and worked out that quite a big deposit would be required. This amount would be beyond the means of many Thais.
My sister-in-law came over on Saturday and we were talking about this subject. She said that Thais can now get car loans over 10 years. Finance is a huge industry in Thailand and Thais who can't afford things seem to have no concerns about taking out big loans.
This is good business for the finance companies who make a lot in interest. There are also lots of used car dealerships with quite a few almost new cars for sale and I would imagine that many of these are cars that were repossessed because the owners couldn't keep up with the repayments.
A lot of Thais don't stop at just buying a car. They feel it is necessary to decorate their cars and have very fixed ideas about what is needed. Apart from the off female who feels a need to adorn her car with Hello Kitty merchandise, women aren't too bad in this respect.
Many young Thai males believe they are racing drivers and spend more on decorating their cars with useless go-fast accessories than the car is worth. They fit mag wheels with low profile tyres, big exhaust tail pipes, spoilers and body kits, and lots of other useless junk.
After about five years, new cars start to require quite a lot of maintenance. With this in mind I find it quite concerning that someone would take out a ten year loan to buy a car. However, such is the desire to have a car now that Thais don't think ten years ahead.
There were local elections yesterday and one candidate was trying to push the idea of a monorail system. Whenever I see politicians pushing monorails I always think of the famous Simpsons episode.
Even if it were to happen, the system would carry so few people that it wouldn't make any difference to the traffic congestion. The 'public' transport system in Thailand is a mess because it isn't public. It is lots of individuals running their own private transport business.
All they are worried about is filling up their vehicles with passengers to increase profits and while they are blocking lanes waiting for passengers they just make the traffic worse. What is really needed is a true public transport system and proper bus lanes so that public transport interferes as little as possible with private transport.
None of this will happen and the situation will only get worse as the city populations increase and more people get cars.
One of the factors behind the 1997 Asian financial crisis was the amount of external debt. I don't think that is a problem for Thailand now, with lots of money coming in (US$30.1 billion dollars alone from tourism) and no welfare system to support.
However, the huge amount of household debt must be a concern especially if the government wants to try to stimulate domestic consumer spending.
As a foreigner I think too much, which is a very bad thing in Thailand. If you are seen to be visibly thinking too much in Thailand (kit maak) you will be castigated by Thais.
The last thing a Thai pulling out of the showroom in his car will be thinking about is making ten years' worth of payments or the state of the Thai economy in ten years' time.
I am still trying to get my head around ideas about thinking in Thailand. Recently, I was given a book about Buddhism and meditation written by a monk called Luangpor Teean. It is decidedly cryptic, especially his answers to audience questions after giving a presentation.
He talks a lot about extinguishing thoughts as soon as they enter the mind - "As soon as thought arises, sweep it away immediately and come to be with the awareness."
I'm sure that the book contains a lot of good advice, but I have found it vague and cryptic. What kind of thoughts do I sweep away, and what kind of thoughts do I retain? I agree that there is no point dwelling on past thoughts or worrying about things that may happen in the future. Some thoughts serve no purpose and cause suffering, but where is the line?
Sunday 4th August 2013
Bangkok is a fascinating place to visit. Parts of the capital are beautiful, some of the temples magnificent, and the expensive shopping centres are a match for any in the world. The quality and variety of food on offer is excellent.
On the other hand, it's not the greatest place to visit if you have asthma problems because the pollution is terrible. There are far too many cars and apart from causing pollution, the sheer volume of traffic and constant traffic jams make it difficult to get around.
There are official slum areas and many other areas look like slums with filthy, decrepit buildings, filthy pedestrian bridges, and huge masses of electricity cables everywhere hanging close to where people walk.
The cost of living keeps going up in Thailand, but it is still a lot cheaper than many other countries. Business Air is about to start direct flights from our local provincial airport to Seoul, but if you want to stay at a hotel in Seoul it is very expensive. That is the case for most capitals around the world, with the exception of Bangkok.
You can find dirt cheap backpacker accommodation if you desire, but there are many mid-range hotels that are clean, comfortable and not that expensive. At the top end of the market Bangkok has some world class hotels, such as The Oriental, and staying at these places is a lot cheaper compared to staying at equivalent standard hotels in other countries.
If you need to save money, street food is really cheap. Taxis - provided the driver agrees to use the meter - are also really cheap. Several of my taxi fares last week were only Bt60 or Bt70 and the fare from the airport into town is only a couple of hundred Baht. Try jumping in one of London's famous black cabs and see what your fare is for a short journey.
With so much contrast in Thailand's capital you never quite know what is going to be around the next corner, and this uncertainty makes exploring the city a lot of fun. There is no doubt that arriving in Bangkok feels exciting. The city has a constant buzz. During my single tourist days I used to hit the streets early in the morning and I just walked around all day exploring until my legs gave up on me.
And when you are feeling exhausted from walking, in which other capital city in the world can you easily find a young girl to massage your body or feet for a couple of hundred Baht? There are cheap massage shops everywhere in Bangkok, and indeed all over Thailand.
Of the 22.4 million tourists that visit Thailand each year, bringing US$30.1 billion dollars into the Thai economy, almost 16 million spend at least one night in Bangkok making it the most visited capital city in the world.
I can understand this perfectly well. However, after you have visited many times - or if you live in Bangkok permanently - it can all start to look a little different. It's the same wherever you are. You start to forget about, or take for granted, the good things, while at the same time the negative aspects just get more annoying and difficult to live with.
As I said last week, I still enjoy my visits to Bangkok (some more than others), but I still prefer to live outside of the capital.
What is the world's favourite holiday destination?
Friday 2nd August 2013
For a few moments last month there was the slightest chance that the naming of a certain royal baby might propel the name Philip back into the popularity charts for a while, but it didn't happen. Philip wasn't chosen and will continue to be as unpopular a name as it has been for a long time. That's good because I like to be different to the crowd.
Thai nicknames also follow fashion and the fashion for names goes round in a perpetual circle. Not so long ago, many Thais had animal nicknames. My daughter has an Uncle Chicken, Auntie Fish and Auntie Crab. Lots of Thais of my generation have animal nicknames.
When I taught high school girls, there were very few with animal nicknames. There was one Grasshopper, but that was about it, and as far as I know she wasn't an O-Ren Ishii type martial arts expert.
It is popular with Thais these days to give their kids nicknames based on Western words and names. Some are similar to Western names, such as the months May and June, but some are weird. Some also reflect Thai materialistic aspirations.
I have encountered twin boys called Bee-Em(W) and Benz, and twin girls called Jackpot and Bonus. One boy I met some years ago was called Nokia, but no doubt his name has now been changed to either Samsung or Apple.
Ice is quite popular, and I have also met a girl called Eyes. The Thai pronunciation of both names sounds similar. One girl who I used to teach was called World, another Snack (not Snake), another View, etc etc.
I collected my daughter from nursery today and as I was waiting I was looking at the kids' backpacks, some of which had their names on written in Thai. One kid was called Nong Hygiene. Thais always insist on using some kind of a title when addressing people, including kids.
Informally it is 'Nong' (younger person) followed by the child's nickname (cheu len - literally 'play name'), and formally it is either 'Dek Ying' for girls or 'Dek Chaay' for boys followed by the child's proper Thai name (cheu jing).
As a foreigner in Thailand you will sometimes be addressed as Khun and sometimes as Mr, followed by your first name. Thais aren't big on surnames and they themselves only started using surnames when it became a legal requirement to do so in 1913.
They don't have middle names either, and when I write out my full name including my middle name it confuses them. They either think that my middle name is my first name or surname.
No two Thai families can use the same surname and thus there are a lot of unique Thai surnames. There are no equivalents of Smith and Brown in Thailand. Surnames also tend to be lengthy with lots of syllables,
Back to Hygiene, and that is probably the weirdest Thai nickname I have come across so far. I wonder what the parents were thinking? Perhaps they want the world to know that this is a very clean child?
The most ridiculous thing anyone ever said to me was that I would get bored when I stopped teaching in Thailand.
I do get bored with certain things in Thailand, and I've written about those things here, but I can't remember the last time I was bored for want of something to do. It simply doesn't happen and I never have time to do all the things that I want to do.
In my list of priorities this blog is quite low down and there are times when I just don't have the time to make updates. Sorry about that.
Thursday 1st August 2013
Etymology is an interesting subject and once you start learning some Thai it is fun to see how certain words and compound nouns are formed. For example, I like the way that Thais complain of having broken stomachs - tong sia.
Some explanations I have read or heard about are quite fanciful but, unfortunately, inaccurate. One website explained that the Thai word for policeman meant 'to do checks'. After all, that's what policemen do, isn't it?
If you can read Thai and start to break down words you can see the problems.
ตำรวจ - dtumruat (policeman)
ทำตรวจ - tum dtruat (do checks)
You can see that it is close, but not quite close enough.
I heard another one today - that the Thai word for pen (bpaak gaa) was taken from the name of a well known pen brand - Parker. This also sounds feasible, apart from the fact the sound of the second syllable doesn't match.
Thais use brand names for some things. Americans say diapers, Brits say nappies, but Thais put Pampers on their babies. Why not Parker for pens?
ปากกา - bpaak gaa (pen)
When you break this one down you get bpaak = 'mouth' and gaa = 'crow'
Some old fashioned ink pen nibs looked like crow's mouths and this is how Thais refer to pens. The other theory sounds good, but it had nothing to do with Parker pens.
The dentist fitted my crown today and thus ends the current course of treatment. It started with quite severe pain, which she fixed quickly, before embarking on root canal treatment and finally the fitting of the crown. It has taken a while, but it has been worth it.
Everything has been done very satisfactorily and the new crown feels good. It feels very secure, but already it is easing in and feels natural. This dentist has given me a lot of confidence in her ability and she will now be my regular dentist.
She was reminiscing a little today about her time in the UK. She did her Master's degree at a dental hospital near King's Cross and then worked in a dental practice in Sheffield for six months. My maternal grandmother came from Sheffield, but I haven't spent much time in the north of England.
We agreed that Brits are generally friendlier and less reserved outside of London, but she remarked that she experienced some very kind deeds in London. Big cities all around the world are the same and people are more guarded, but there are still good people in these places.
She is a very good person morally and so are many Thais. This morning I spoke to the teacher at our daughter's nursery. Our daughter was born with a problem with her feet. It is a lot better now, but her Achille's tendons are still too short and despite having two operations to lengthen them she may need another.
In order to try to avoid this the doctor in Bangkok last week told us to manipulate and stretch her feet more in an effort to lengthen the tendons. My wife asked the nursery teacher if she could do this during the daytime and offered to pay some money because the teacher is under no obligation to do this.
She agreed to help, but flatly refused to take any money. She seems to have a genuine fondness for our daughter and the other children she looks after. She is dedicated, but I would imagine that she earns less than Bt10,000 per month. There are a lot of good people in Thailand.
There are good and bad people in every country, so why make a point of the bad people in Thailand when bad people exist everywhere? It got me to thinking.
The big difference between my native UK and Thailand is the degree of protection that society has in place against bad people. In Western countries the rule of law is the main defence and I explained previously why this cannot be the case in Thailand.
Thailand has opted for a kind of Confucian model and relied on Buddhism to control society. The law is very weak or non-existent. This is all very well for people who have a moral conscience and empathy towards others, but there will always be people in society who have no moral conscience or empathy towards others. These people would be dealt with in Western societies, but in Thailand they are left alone.
I used to wonder why Thais took no action against such people, but now I think I know. If you act against a bad person you will get no support from anyone else and you will not change that person. Thais are extremely vindictive and all you will succeed in doing is making an enemy.
Life in Thailand is difficult for many people. People get very little help from the state because it isn't a welfare state and many people have little money. Money isn't the answer to every problem, but in many cases it can help.
Lots of problems occur naturally - last week I had quite a big health problem and felt completely hopeless - and if you start making unnecessary problems for yourself life just gets more difficult.
In any situation that you are incapable of changing, you eventually get beaten down. I have had to mellow and accept the way that Thailand is because I can change nothing and by reacting to things that I don't like personally I only put my life at risk.
It's not an ideal situation, but it is the only way. This is a survival strategy and my other survival strategy has been to isolate myself as much as possible from bad people in Thailand. The only time this is not possible is when I use public roads, which is why I write so much about the problems on Thai roads.
Many books have been written by foreigners about Thailand covering a whole range of subjects. Some are excellent, while others - quite frankly - are embarrassing.
I own some and have browsed and borrowed lots of others. The authors of some phrase books should be sued for writing books that are unfit for purpose, and the genius who self-published a Kindle book on how to swear in Thai should be strung up by his kai.
I have learnt far more about Thailand from books than I have learnt from the Internet, and after a while you start to recognise the authors you can trust and the ones you can't.
When it comes to learning Thai, anything written by David Smyth or Benjawan Poomsan Becker is worth reading. James Higbie's 'Thai Reference Grammar' is also very good. With anything else be wary.
With matters relating to Thailand in general and Thai history the subject matter is often presented in a boring way and not very interesting.
My favourite authors on Thailand are Chris Baker and Pasuk Phongpaichit, who are husband and wife, and I picked up their 'A History of Thailand' at the airport last week. There is one decent book shop where I live but it is located in the departure lounge at the airport and you need a boarding pass to go there.
Why are they my favourite authors? Firstly, they put an enormous amount of research into their books and facts come from many sources. Understandably, the most interesting facts about Thailand come from Thai sources and farang authors who can't read Thai miss out on all the best stuff.
Pasuk Phongpaichit is Thai and Chris Baker is fluent in Thai (speaking and reading) and therefore this isn't a problem for them.
Not least, they are brave and have lots of courage. Everyone writing about Thailand has to exercise continual caution and self censorship, which can be quite stifling. This writing team addresses some very sensitive issues in Thailand and they have previously run into a few problems. When Pasuk Phongpaichit's 'Corruption and Democracy in Thailand' was published in Thai it caused quite a stir.
We are all shaped by our environment and history. Where we come from provides a good indication of where we are, who we are, and where we are going.
The cultural behaviour in Thailand - how Thais behave and why - has always fascinated me. I have worked out some things for myself, although it took a long time. There are other facets of behaviour that I could never work out. However, the many little gems of information in this book have started to complete some of the empty pieces of the puzzle.
Living amongst Thais, you become aware of certain attitudes about the way Thais perceive themselves and others, and you become aware of their beliefs and values. The difficult part, if you are interested, is finding out why. This book has lots of answers and I am still enjoying reading it.
The authors have a highly engaging writing style and lay down facts that grip the reader. The first book of theirs that I read, some years ago, was their biography of Thaksin - 'Thaksin, the business of politics in Thailand'.
If you have a genuine interest in Thailand, I highly recommend anything written by this writing team.