Living In Thailand Blog
Wednesday 13th December 2006
It never rains but it pours. Just to add to my increasing dissatisfaction with things Thai at the moment, the southern insurgency problems continue to escalate.
My prediction that the situation would improve after Thaksin's removal was completely and hopelessly wrong. I try to be a rational thinker but one of my weaknesses is a belief that all other people think the same way. They don't; especially terrorists.
Thaksin refused to talk to the disaffected southerners and managed the situation in his usual heavy-handed style, just as he did with alleged drug traffickers a few years before. As a result many people were killed and I understood why many Thai Muslims were aggrieved.
His removal was led by a Muslim coup leader which I believed would help. Subsequently, the new Prime Minister agreed to enter into negotiations - something Thaksin would never do - and he also apologised formally for what had happened under Thaksin's premiership.
Rationally, all of these factors should have resulted in an end to the problems but that didn't happen. As I said, you can't be rational with terrorists.
Coming back from the airport a couple of days ago, my taxi was stopped at a road block. Police and soldiers were checking occupants and I guess that further checks were being made if anyone looked suspicious. Word on the local grapevine is not at all good and there is now talk of bigger problems coming to Hat Yai.
The Hat Yai tourist industry is still suffering badly from the September bombs. Another incident - especially a major one - would completely destroy the trade and it would take years to recover. The local chamber of commerce estimated that the September bombs resulted in Bt10 billion of lost tourism revenue. With Christmas and New Year coming up, it would seem to be a prime time for another attack.
Regardless or not whether something actually happens, the terrorists have already succeeded in their goal by causing terror. I suggested to one of my UK correspondents that he spend a few days in the south when he comes to Thailand but his Bangkok-based girlfriend told him he would be crazy to.
The situation is not only keeping foreign visitors away but also Thais from elsewhere in Thailand. There is a real fear which is evident in people's faces when they talk about the problems. Another story I have heard is that one of the universities in Songkhla isn't taking any new undergraduates in the New Year. Not only do students not want to study in the south but teachers don't want to teach there either.
So far, the farang tourist trade has been pretty much unaffected and that is the big one for the Thais. Most Malaysians and Singaporeans come up to Hat Yai to eat, shop or get laid on the cheap but farangs spend a serious amount of money and many businesses aimed solely at high-spending Westerners could not survive without them. Thailand's biggest nightmare at the moment must be something happening in Phuket, Bangkok, Pattaya, Chiang Mai, Samui or Krabi to jeopardise the farang tourist industry.
As to how to counter the problems, I just don't know. Security everywhere has been visibly tightened recently. There is now a vehicle check at the university I work at which is quite new. The road blocks I mentioned have also sprung up fairly recently and ever since the 2004 incidents in Hat Yai there has been security at all the big shopping centres.
The new government has been as fair as it can be, offering to enter into negotiations but you can't negotiate with irrational people. The terrorist objective still appears to be a separate Pattani state but it's an impossible demand; it would make the majority of people in the region worse off and it would be economic suicide.
The Singaporean Thaksin fan I spoke to last week liked Thaksin's approach to the terrorist problem and indeed, the zero-tolerance approach towards social disorder is very much favoured in Singapore. It's harsh and at times in the past there has been uproar from foreign countries whose subjects have been caught and punished in Singapore but just take a look at the level of crime there.
It has to be one of the safest places on earth and decent, law-abiding people (who make up the majority of the population in every country) have absolutely nothing to worry about. Another recurring theme in this blog is crime in the UK which is spiralling out of control because the justice system is now a joke and I for one would like to see some Singaporean-style justice meted out there.
After being beaten with a rattan cane to the point where there is no flesh left on their buttocks, I wonder how many muggers, thieves and vandals would offend again? It might also deter a few would-be offenders.
There is no doubt that so-called political correctness in the Western world has gone way too far and perhaps it is time everywhere to change the way we think. Lee Kuan Yew was in Singapore throughout the brutal Japanese occupancy when the Japanese would behead Chinese Singaporeans and leave their heads on poles in the streets as a deterrent to others not to resist.
Not very nice, I admit, but as a deterrent it certainly worked and LKY saw first-hand that it worked. He took the aspects of British culture that worked (mainly organisational skills) and blended them with aspects of other cultures that worked to create what Singapore is today and the result is that Singapore works extremely well.
I'm sure that the Thai government won't have a problem dealing with terrorists when they catch them but catching them is the big problem. What I have heard is that they are being sheltered in parts of northern Malaysia and hiding in the jungle areas that were used by Communist insurgents some years ago.
I'm going to wrap this up by emphasising that daily life remains unaffected and that I still don't consider Thailand a particularly dangerous place. I still maintain that the biggest danger in Thailand is on the roads and the statistics will bear that out.
Some basic precautions are advisable - as they are in many parts of the world nowadays - but there is no need to be paranoid. One terrorist objective is to hurt the economy and if people stay away they let the terrorists succeed.
Rest assured also that the Thai authorities know exactly where the potential targets are and it is very much in their interests to prevent any incidents from occurring. In tourist areas you might expect to see a few more police, tourist police or even possibly soldiers around but they are there for your own good.
I've been laying into Thailand a bit lately but now it's time to lay into the UK, a country with so many problems that the prospect of going back there to live causes me to wake up in a cold shiver some nights.
It's a country in terminal decline and I just can't see any signs that anything will ever better. Here are some links to BBC stories I spotted today.
First up is the fact I am not the only one who has chosen to escape. 5.5m Britons have opted to live abroad. That's the official figure anyway but I'm sure the real figure is a lot higher. My official residence is still a UK address so I am probably not counted as living abroad and I guess the same applies to many others.
In a rather ironic twist, people are now emigrating from the UK to India for a better life. The UK government's open-door immigration policy is costing UK tax-payers a fortune with £100m having been spent on translation services alone. Peterborough Council has translated details of its refuse collection service into 15 languages which surely is political correctness gone mad.
The money needs to come from somewhere so the government has cut funding for adult education which, of course, makes perfect sense. Reducing the level of education and spending public money on translation services for Bangladeshis who have lived in the country for over 20 years and still don't speak English makes so much sense.
Education among the UK's young people doesn't fare much better either. I know that it's supposedly trendy and cool on web sites to write like a moron using SMS style notation and for youngsters to try to speak like Ali G (who kids, if you haven't realised, is a parody) but it won't impress a potential employer.
Furthermore, poor kids in India are making a huge effort learning to speak English to increase their chances of having better lives. In 20 years time there will be a billion Indians speaking flawless English while British citizens continue to grunt like cavemen, "Yeah but, no but, like." It goes without saying that the Indians will also be computer literate and will know how to perform mental arithmetic.
The National Health Service, once a source of pride for Britain, is now collapsing due to gross mismanagement. The health system in Thailand is wonderful and - returning to Singapore briefly where myself and both of my brothers have had problems with Singaporean doctors - I believe it is better than what Singapore has to offer.
Bush's little poodle, Blair, seems set to continue the conflict in the Middle East and the poor guys that actually have to go and put their lives on the line have had enough. The UK armed forces apparently don't have enough people or equipment and as a result, morale is very low.
Just to cap it off, there is a serial killer on the loose murdering prostitutes in Suffolk. Naturally, the UK press is referring to him as the Suffolk Ripper.
These stories today aren't particularly unusual. Every time I look at what's happening in the UK it is fairly similar. Good people continue to leave the country while more Eastern European immigrants arrive.
The government continues to waste money while cutting back on health and education and its profligacy is paid for by honest home owners, workers and road users. And as everything becomes more expensive, the country just becomes more dangerous as crime continues to spiral out of control.
The world is going completely crazy.
Tuesday 12th December 2006
The recent Bangkok and Singapore trips are still very fresh in my mind and both have made very strong impressions on me, but for different reasons. Simply put, Singapore was very positive and Bangkok was very negative.
The Singaporean I spoke to a few days ago told me that, "All Thais steal," (which is not true, of course) and while I was away I had a few interesting e-mails arrive. I probably have a more balanced view of Thailand than most casual visitors because I meet a lot of good people in my daily life but I suspect I am in a minority.
Many foreigners are aware of corruption scandals in Thailand and everyone knows the reputation Bangkok has. It's almost as if the Thais don't care but that couldn't be any further from the truth. The Longman's dictionary incident caused an uproar in 1993 and such matters still cause offence.
It's unlikely though that much will change unless there are some massive cultural and social shifts but that is equally unlikely to happen any time soon. Those higher up in the social hierarchy will always look after themselves very nicely and those at the bottom will continue to be shat on from a great height.
The ones controlling the purse strings will continue helping themselves and the poor will have to make money any way they can, whether it is by ripping off tourists or selling their daughters' bodies. The problems are both cultural and circumstantial.
And defend the Thais as I do, there is no doubt that trickery, chicanery and deceit are used an awful lot. A common Thai soap opera scene involves one of the female actors crying her eyes out to get what she wants and, as soon as her man gives in, she gives a sly little smile to the camera behind his back. She has managed to get her own way by fooling him and now she is happy.
In Thailand, this approach is more than just a soap opera scene. Being sly and sneaky, using emotional blackmail and playing lots of mind games is just part of the game of life. Thais love to play and most activities are treated as games. For example, they don't 'work with' or 'use' computers; the verb they use for computer activity is 'play'.
Relationships for many girls are also just games and foreign men are just played with. It's still a great country in many respects but one in which foreigners need to be very careful.
The e-mails I normally receive come from men involved with Thai women. What has struck me with a lot of this correspondence is just how decent the men are and just how scheming the girls are. To be perfectly honest, I can't understand why the men are so tolerant but that is their decision.
There are millions of girls in Thailand from poor backgrounds who have no opportunities in life and they far outnumber the good Western men who come seeking them. There is no reason for men to be messed around by a poor Thai girl but it happens all the time. As I said above, it's all to do with mind games and the Thais are very good at playing them.
The other e-mail I received was a little different as it came from an Indonesian girl living in Denmark married to a Dane. I suspect that her views are shared by many others.
Here is her e-mail:
"Since there was no feedback column in your blog I thought that sending you an email would be the best in order to express my opinion about your Thailand blog. Really interesting stories you posted there! However, it just confirmed what I have seen and experienced here with Thailand girls. I live in Denmark for quite a while and I am from Indonesia. Needless to say that people here might confuse my complexion with Thailand faces although I look more Chinese than Malay if you know what I mean. The thing is that I hate being mistaken as a Thai girl because their reputation has gone so low in here that people here thinks that Thai girls living in Denmark are ex-hookers or other uneducated girls. I feel pity for those highly-educated Thai girls who have good jobs and married to Danish for good reason here because obviously they will get it worse than me since I could just shake off their suspicion by saying that I am not Thai, but the thing about Thai girls being so (duh..I cannot find the right English word for that) is not only a public opinion but it is the truth since I knew some of Thai girls from Danish language lesson offered by some church here. I was there for few months before I got into the real intensive language schools and most of the Thailand girls there "admitted" that they used to work in massage parlors when they were still in Thailand (duh!) and it was obvious that they were uneducated at all. I don't have intention of being snobbish and that it is not their fault that they grew up in poor family (who could not afford education and perhaps forced them to work as hookers or massage parlors whatever) but it was just the way they carried themselves in the society made me want to stay away from them. They giggled a lot, talked very loud and lots of other things that "explained" that you were not good educated as women....and all they talked was about sex mainly (I knew this because one of my good Thai friend (yes I do have a decent Thai friend) explained/translated it to me.
So...every time I see a Thai girl here, I am being skeptical always and it is a surprise to read how you keep falling on a girl after another even though you know that most of Thai girls were after Westerners only for money (and I can assure you that 90% Thai girls living in Denmark had the very-same intention when they found their Danish husbands). I cannot say that I like the country Thailand either. Been there several times with my Danish husband (oh yes I do have one too - but he is not rich and he is at my age and no he is not fat and bald, so you might shake off your opinion about me being gold diggers like other Thai girls) and every time I always got mistaken as Thai girls and refused to go in a hotel with my husband (which is like "WTF??") kept mistaken by other farangs as my husband's "local" girlfriends. What an awful place.
To sum it short, I only want to say that you have very nice and interesting blogs and I just want to utter my opinion about the whole Thai business."
Monday 11th December 2006
My trip to Singapore was good. Very good, in fact. I have enjoyed my last couple of trips there but three years ago I hated it. So what happened? Here's a little background.
My working life in England had started to take a few wrong turns in the late 90's and this came at a time when the IT industry faced lots of problems. Scaremongering and paranoia regarding the year 2000 had propped up the industry for a few years but then the calendar ticked over and the world didn't suddenly stop.
The Internet bubble finally burst and shortly afterwards hundreds of thousands of cheap IT service staff from the sub-continent arrived on the software services scene. In a very harsh and difficult environment I was expected to go anywhere and do anything in order to make lots of money for the company.
Making money is all that matters in a capitalist economy. My health had begun to suffer quite badly and I don't believe the people around me realised quite how bad. I was expected to sell my soul to the company for five very long days each week (often away from home) and I wasn't fit to do much of anything on my days off because I was too tired.
It's amazing how many people live that way just so that they can go out to fancy restaurants, buy gadgets and drive BMWs but that wasn't how I wanted to live my life. I rebelled against the system and said goodbye to it.
My first stop in Southeast Asia after quitting my old way of life was Singapore and I immediately sensed the lust for money again. It was far too similar to what I had tried to get away from and made me feel very uncomfortable.
I couldn't wait to get to Thailand and I felt very comfortable in Thailand where many people had far easier lives. They didn't have much materially but they certainly seemed a lot happier and that, I considered, was far more important.
However, nowhere is perfect and I have recorded a number of frustrations and aspects of Thai culture that I don't like in this blog. After more than three years in Thailand, the novelty has completely worn off and certain things have started to irritate me.
Having visited Bangkok and Singapore within a matter of days, the two places are as different as chalk and cheese. There was a time when I preferred Bangkok but no longer. Singapore now wins hands down.
It is an incredibly clean and orderly island with beautiful architecture and lots of green spaces. There are lots of vehicles but they are mostly new cars with very few motorbikes. Consequently, there is little noise or pollution from the traffic. The public transportation system is amazing.
Everything about Singapore is First World Plus. As I left Thailand I got the usual barrage of personal questions from the immigration guy which is none of his business whereas immigration at Singapore was very professional.
The taxi drivers are fine in Singapore. It is just unheard of for a driver to refuse to use his meter or try to rip someone off. It is possible to walk around on safe, unbroken pavements and where there is any work carried out, the public are protected from danger. There is a sense of responsibility for other people's safety that just doesn't exist in Thailand.
Construction sites in Singapore look completely different to construction sites in Thailand with Singaporean construction workers wearing appropriate clothing and safety equipment. It is actually safe to cross the street when the green pedestrian crossing light shows.
Western food is great - if a little pricey - but there is still a good selection of cheap local dishes so it needn't be expensive to eat out. Drinking water at certain tourist attractions is a rip off so it is best to take your own. As in the UK, water from the tap can be drunk in Singapore.
Shopping for electronic and camera equipment is great. Whatever is made is available in Singapore very shortly after it is announced. Making enquiries about a fairly new camera lens in Bangkok last week resulted in unusual looks and smirks as if I had just asked for half a pound of Kryptonite. Every place I went to had it in stock in Singapore.
Westerners in Singapore - for the most part - look like normal people and not sideshow freaks, sexual deviants or sad losers. There is no doubt that the two countries attract a very different kind of Western visitor but I know who I'd rather be around.
Chinese shopkeepers will still try it on with prices (even though the situation has changed enormously since I first went there in 1990) and certain items are overpriced but you don't have to be on your guard continuously whenever you are out in public so as not to be ripped off by con-artists.
The Singaporeans themselves are a funny bunch. The culture of Kiasu is still very much in evidence with the older generation but not so much with the younger crowd. Old people still fight to get seats on the MRT and on both of my flights the Singaporeans made sure they were the first to board by waiting as close to the gate as possible so that they could get seats at the front of the plane.
However, on this recent trip and my last one earlier in the year, several people went out of their way to help me. There are lots of very kind Singaporeans.
I am kind of confused with how my thoughts have changed so dramatically in such a short space of time but then again, I'm not. This has to do with the law of impermanence which is stressed in Buddhism. Nothing in life stays the same.
A few years ago I needed Thailand and living here has restored my mental health which - from around 1999 to 2002 - was in serious danger of becoming very unbalanced. However, I think I am approaching a time in my life when the needs I have are different to those Thailand can provide.
I'm not sure where this is all leading but I am comfortable with impermanence, knowing that at different times in my life I will need different people, different activities and different surroundings. It's just the way I am.
Thailand is not a bad place but I can't imagine it ever changing due to the culture. One restaurant owner I was speaking to in Singapore was a Thaksin fan and although we didn't argue, let's just say we agreed to differ.
When I commented that Thaksin was stealing from the country he said that everyone steals in Thailand but at least Thaksin tried to give something back to the poor. It's not true that everyone in Thailand steals but it is certainly part of the culture for those in positions of power to feather their own nests.
Lee Kuan Yew has always had, and will always have, his critics. Singapore's human rights record is pretty appalling and press freedom doesn't exist. The Lee family has far too much influence and although technically Singapore is a democracy, it is effectively a one party state.
What you can't deny though is that everything about Singapore works. There is nowhere else like it in this part of the world and it is more First World than most other developed countries. I thought a few years ago that India's and China's economic development might hurt Singapore but Singapore continues to differentiate itself from those countries.
More tourists than ever are visiting (nine million this year) and more tourist attractions are being built. A huge ferris wheel which will be bigger than London's 'London Eye' is being built and fairly soon the new casinos will open.
Business is booming but again, in contrast to Thailand, Singapore treats foreign businesses and workers very differently to how Thailand treats them. It is a major banking centre and the best facilities have been built to attract the best companies and best people. Permanent Resident status is a lot easier to achieve in Singapore and expats can buy properties.
Thailand wants foreign investment and skills but at the same time there is fear and suspicion about foreigners so they are always kept at an arm's length. There is also lots of insecurity about foreigners because the truth of the matter is that most Thais cannot compete against them.
On a level playing field foreigners would clean up in Thailand so there are lots of laws to prevent Thailand from becoming a level playing by disadvantaging foreigners. This, however, has had a negative effect, making Thailand a difficult country for foreigners to live and do business in. And the situation is only getting worse.
Foreign investment is wanted but the people aren't and this doesn't work. English language skills - or lack of them - is another reason for Thailand's backwardness but the country doesn't want to spend much money and, being the country it is, all the wrong people are attracted to Thailand to 'teach' English.
What Thailand really needs is a Lee Kuan Yew type figure but extraordinary people such as LKY don't appear very often and such a leader in Thailand would need to put the country's needs before his own which would be fairly unusual in Thailand.
Wednesday 6th December 2006
There will be yet another temporary 'blog-break' while I'm in Singapore for a few days to catch up with my brother. The plan is also to do some shopping and take Iss sightseeing. She's thrilled to bits and has been looking forward to the trip for weeks. She had never been out of the country before we met and she still has never been to northern Thailand.
This general lack of travel within Thailand and abroad is common with many Thais. In Iss's case she works every day and travelling for her - even within Thailand - is expensive beyond her means. She got herself a passport soon after we met. So far she has had one trip with me to Singapore and two to Malaysia.
Neither of us like Malaysia. The only part of Malaysia I have found to be vaguely acceptable is Langkawi but as far as tropical islands are concerned, the ones in Thailand are better and cheaper.
I had big problems with her on the first trip to Singapore two years ago. It was her first time out of Thailand and she was immediately surrounded with lots of farangs jabbering away in London dialects and eating Western food.
The culture shock overwhelmed her. She retreated into the bedroom where I found her in tears and she told me she would take the bus back to Thailand alone. I managed to bring her round but she was still uncomfortable.
A lot of it had to do with the food. After two days without Thai food she was suffering badly from withdrawal symptoms. We had to go to the supermarket to buy groceries so that she could cook Thai food.
It was then that I noticed something else about her. Up until that point she had not had to do anything. She had been given gifts for Christmas and been taken out sightseeing, shopping and for meals. None of this was cheap but it didn't make her happy.
Once she got in the kitchen she started cooking Thai food for everyone and she was happy again. She was also very happy to wash and blow dry hair for my Mum and some of my brother's female friends. It's the same when we are together in Thailand.
She is happy as long as she is doing things for other people and doesn't like it when people are doing things for her. It might just be something that boosts her self-esteem; I'm not sure. She is always up before me in the morning and starts her day cleaning the room or doing laundry.
Anyway, now that she has some experience of other countries, I think she will be fine on this trip. She's a good girl who deserves a lot better than me. I know that one day I will leave her and it will break her heart. It will break mine too but, as good as the relationship is, it's not what I really want (not that I really know what I want).
Living a life of famine and then being presented with a never-ending, sumptuous feast of the most succulent morsels imaginable can seriously mess with a man's brain; simple creatures that we are. This is the dilemma for farang men in Thailand.
After just getting back from Bangkok I don't really feel like making this trip but I need to for a number of reasons and I think it will end up being fun. After I get back I am looking forward to doing as little as possible in the way of travelling for several months.
I want to do more photography, I want to learn more about Photoshop, I want to do some PHP and MySQL programming and I want (need) to improve my Thai. Also, I've had an idea for a book for about a year but all of these things have been put on the back-burner recently. 2006 turned out to be a busy year but busy for the wrong reasons. I hope that 2007 will be busy for the right reasons.
Tuesday 5th December 2006
Today is a holiday for the King's 79th birthday and as 2006 draws to a close we are nearing the end of what has been an important year for King Bhumidol, having completed 60 years as Thailand's monarch. He is the world's longest serving and most respected monarch.
I haven't bought a newspaper in Thailand for quite some time. While Thaksin was still around the newspaper stories about his dodgy dealings and disregard for human rights just depressed me so I stopped reading them and that habit continued. However, I will be buying a copy of The Nation for details of the King's speech in English.
The King has an amazing ability to highlight important issues and make it very clear what needs doing but at the same time he speaks in a kind of diplomatic code in accordance with royal protocol. A certain degree of reading between the lines is required but the message is always clear.
Browsing around The Nation web site today, I came across this article: Corruption from the cradle to the grave. It hits the nail on the head completely as to how most Thais view life and is well worth reading.
A little cheating or law breaking or bribery to save a few seconds at a red traffic light or to get a better grade in an exam or to get a job; far from being frowned upon in Thai society, is seen as a good thing. As one expat told me, if Thais can cheat and get away with it they are admired.
They are not bad people but this is just the Thai way and it is so ingrained that no one sees any problem with what goes on. I hate it when I get motorbike taxis and the guys turn left at red lights, do a U-turn and turn left again to save a few seconds. They all do it though and no one raises an eyebrow.
Apparently, us southerners are in for some severe wet weather in the next few days as a result of Typhoon Durian (I hope it doesn't smell like the fruit of the same name). One of the girls at work saw this on the news last night and sent me a warning message.
I am just about to set off for Singapore. On one of my trips to Singapore last year there was torrential rain while I was away and I returned to severe flooding. The airport road was closed and special army trucks had been drafted in to get passengers away from the airport.
According to The Nation, the King's birthday speech this year touches on flooding. He has devoted much of his reign to land and water management with flood defences being a major theme.
Being a tropical country, torrential, sustained rain at certain times of the year is hardly an unusual event in Thailand. It is guaranteed. It is therefore strange why people should suffer from flooding every year when measures could be taken to prevent, or at least to reduce the severity of, floods.
Are the Thais not building enough monkey cheeks, or building them too slowly?
In an occasional series I will attempt to explain a few different Thai driving manoeuvres. To kick off, we have the rear end shunt. This is a commonly executed move in which one vehicle slams into the rear of another. Cars or motorbikes are perfectly acceptable vehicles in which to perform shunts but pushbikes are unlikely to create enough damage for an effective shunt.
Click on the thumbnails for larger images.
An effective shunt should result in the driver of the vehicle you have just shunted getting out of his vehicle and having a word - as shown in the photo above. If he stays in his car and fails to acknowledge your shunt it obviously wasn't hard enough. Back up a little and try again. When he speaks you should grin like a Cheshire cat, as the driver of the Jazz and his female passenger did so well after this collision on the Sukhumvit Road.
The rear end shunt is best accomplished by driving as fast as is humanly possible whenever the traffic is flowing and not allowing an adequate braking distance between your vehicle and the one in front. If you are still having problems with this manoeuvre then you are probably paying too much attention to your driving. Stop this unacceptable behaviour at once and try to remember which country you are driving in.
Try not to pay attention to what is happening on the road. Mobile phone usage is recommended while driving, especially sending SMS messages. If you are female or a gatoey you could try applying your make-up using the rear-view mirror. Failing this, get an in-dash DVD player fitted and watch music videos while driving.
New cars are favoured as shunt targets and can be identified by their red licence plates. Shiny new Hondas are especially satisfying to ram into. If your shunt results in the whole of the rear section of the car being replaced then you know you have done a good job.
Some crafty individuals have tried to make their vehicles shunt-proof; shame on them. Bars on the back of a vehicle should be seen as a challenge meaning that you will just have to try a little harder to achieve the desired effect.
Great fun though it is, a word of caution is required regarding new Mercedes Benz models. Some owners carry loaded weapons in the glove compartment and (for reasons unknown to me) get upset when upcountry rice farmers go crashing into their German-built pride-and-joy on Honda Dreams. My advice is to stick to Hondas and Toyotas whose owners aren't normally violent.
Monday 4th December 2006
It's difficult to describe how good it feels to be back in the little part of Thailand I call home. The flowers on my terrace are in bloom, there is a cool breeze blowing in from outside with no need for air conditioning and I can hear birds singing.
The trip to Bangkok left a very sour taste in my mouth. I haven't really enjoyed going to Bangkok for my last half-a-dozen or so trips but I've been almost in a state of denial. How could I not like Thailand's capital with all it has to offer?
Well, the fact is, I really don't like what it has become. Never before have I come into contact with as much white trash, as much blatant greed, and as many bad Thais as I have in the last few days. It is no coincidence that the worst areas of Thailand by a very long way are those areas with the highest concentrations of tourists.
I ate some great Western (and Indian) food - albeit at London prices - and browsed in some excellent bookshops. Lunch at the Oriental was the pleasure it always is but apart from those highlights, the trip was awful. I also got through a lot of money which just rubbed salt in the wounds.
I have decided that was my last ever voluntary stay in Bangkok. From now on I will only go there when it is absolutely necessary. Even as far as shopping is concerned (books, camera equipment, computer equipment, etc), it is far cheaper and just as quick for me to go to Singapore where at least you can cross roads safely, aren't forced to choke on polluted air and there isn't someone trying to rip you off constantly.
If I have time I will try to write some retrospective blog entries and do my best to put into words my (negative) feelings about Bangkok.
Within 24 hours of being back in the southern provinces, my faith in Thailand has been restored. At the hospital where I work are some of the gentlest, kindest, honest people you could ever wish to meet. I've received warm smiles all day and they are 100% genuine.
There is a lot of cynicism about Thailand on the Internet from foreigners who have been cheated on, and ripped off, by Thais. Unsurprisingly, the comments are always from people who live in areas of Thailand where there are lots of farangs and which attract bad Thais. They are quite correct in their observations but wrong to label the entire country as being the same because it's not.
If you have to live in Bangkok for work, that is one thing, but it is a complete mystery to me why anyone having a choice would choose to live in somewhere such as Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket, Samui or even Chiang Mai, which from all accounts is almost as bad as Bangkok these days.
What is the point of being in Thailand if you are just going to hang out at MBK and Siam Paragon all day surrounded by thousands of farangs eating Western food and subjecting yourself to the expense, uncomfortable environment and con artists of Bangkok?
The other thing about Bangkok is just how insignificant farangs are there. I was ignored all the time and went all day without having any friendly chats. I was simply one of the millions of foreigners who visit Bangkok each year - an inconsequential nothing. It is very different in provincial Thailand where, in many of the places I eat at, I have never seen another farang.
I have never been the type of person who likes being the centre of attention but it is nice to be noticed and appreciated and not to be treated with complete indifference. It's essential to be able to speak some Thai though and preferably to be able to read a little.
Where I went this evening would be almost impossible for a non-Thai speaking or reading tourist to deal with because there are only Thai menus and the staff don't speak English.
On the other hand, I have nothing to complain about because with the way things are now it is extremely easy for me to avoid heavily touristed areas. I know exactly which places not to go to and, as a rule, I don't.
Sunday 3rd December 2006
(Retrospective blog entry entered Monday 4th December)
My flight isn't until early afternoon which gives me time to do something this morning but all I want to do is get out of Bangkok. Not having any facilities to make toast or anything in my room, I make another trip to Starbucks for breakfast.
A coffee and sandwich costs Bt250. I sometimes spend that much in two whole days where I live. It's good coffee and the sandwich is better than what is available in provincial Thailand but it's basically London prices which is crazy for Thailand.
However, there is no shortage of tourists handing over their money so there is no need to charge less. No wonder the Thais love tourists so much. They can do back-breaking work in the rice fields and earn the same in one day as a farang will pay for one large cup of coffee.
Bangkok is packed with sex tourists and as I check out of the hotel I see two more in the corner with three Thai girls. One of the men doesn't look too bad but the other is a fat slob. He is an ugly, obese lump wearing bad shorts and an ill-fitting sleeveless top which shows off his heavily tattooed arms.
They are having some kind of a meeting but they aren't discussing the historical and cultural attractions of Bangkok. I sit nearby as I wait for a taxi and try to eavesdrop. Two of the girls are bar girls and it is a classic example of 'like attracting like'. Yes, these people were made for each other.
They are not nice girls. The third girl is acting as an intermediary, translator and negotiator between the whores and the sex tourists trying to negotiate how much it will cost to rent the girls for a set period of time. I thought this place attracted a better class of person but the scum gets everywhere.
Today will be the first time I have to check-in at the new airport. I arrived there for the first time last week and I got a connecting flight there on the day it opened but this will be a new experience.
There are conflicting views from the hotel receptionists whether or not it is best to get a taxi direct from the MBK area or whether it is best to travel further out on the BTS first. I decide just to get a taxi from the hotel and the receptionist tells me the fare should be between Bt200 and Bt250. They order me a taxi.
The taxi turns up and as we set off the driver makes no attempt to turn on his meter. He is a powerfully built guy and barks at me aggressively, "460 Baht, OK?" I tell him to use the meter. He refuses. I take off my seat belt, open the door and tell him I want my bag from the boot. I'm pissed off and serious.
He backs down and turns the meter on but now there is a very frosty atmosphere and he starts to drive very aggressively. I'm not sure what he is going to do now. I notice (once again) that the photo on the licence on display in the cab is not the driver.
He could take me to a remote place, beat me up and rob me, and there would be no way to track him down. This year I've had lots of problems in Bangkok with taxi drivers. Many drivers have refused to use the meter and many drive with a licence displayed that is not theirs.
The guy that almost got me killed earlier this year was arrested but there isn't always a cop on hand when you need one.
The fare to the airport is Bt229 (so the receptionist was right) and there are Bt65 worth of expressway tolls. I give him Bt300 which is a bit less than the Bt460 he tried to demand earlier. I am a farang though and this is what I have experienced every day in Bangkok.
As a farang I am just expected to hand over a lot more money for things than what they should cost. I guess that many tourists do just that and the Thais think they can get away with it all the time.
Suvarnabhumi is packed. It's a big, impressive terminal building but it still isn't running smoothly yet. The information systems at the check-in counters don't appear to be working properly yet and there are cardboard signs being used to tell people where to check in.
This causes lots of confusion. Check-in is also generally slow and there are long queues as a result. I'm sure these things are only teething problems though and it will get better soon. I have never arrived this early for a flight; such is my desire to get away from Bangkok as soon as possible.
At the gates the lack of information continues. I get to the gate that is written on my boarding card but there is nothing at the gate to indicate what number flight is leaving or where it is going to. There are also no final calls so people who habitually leave everything until the last minute while they wander around the duty free shops may be missing their flights at Suvarnabhumi.
Saturday 2nd December 2006
(Retrospective blog entry entered Monday 4th December)
I had arranged to meet the girl I met yesterday at 10am this morning. By 10:45 she still hasn't shown up but it takes so long to travel anywhere in Bangkok this isn't a problem. I call her to find out where she is and it sounds as if she had just got out of bed. She is still in her room.
Being stood up by Thai girls is not a new experience for me. I tell her sarcastically I'll see her next time I'm in Bangkok and hang up. I go off to do my own thing.
There are some horrible farangs in Bangkok. I saw a few skinhead thugs walking around the streets without shirts showing off their tattoos on this trip. It seems that their only objective in life is to look physically intimidating to other people. It works but what is the point?
They're just not like normal people. No maps, no cameras, no books, no friends. They don't look at all interested in anything to do with Thailand (apart from bar girls); their lives are devoted to looking hard. Great - what a way to live your life.
Another farang type I saw quite a lot of on this trip were the ones trying to cultivate the 'Sideshow Bob' look. There seems to be a fashion among certain people now to develop a dreadlock-style hairdo. From what I can make out, this involves ignoring your hair completely for about a year.
Hair doesn't get washed or cut or combed and eventually it gets matted which then achieves the desired effect. It looks disgusting. Again, it could be my age but even so, I can't remember a time in my life when doing this would ever have been appealing.
Later in the day the girl, Fon, starts sending messages and calling me wanting to meet but I can't be bothered with her. I am convinced that this is all part of a game because it happens far too often with Thai girls to be a coincidence.
Thai girls are very good at psychological games and try to get the upper hand in a relationship as soon as possible. She knew from when we first met that I was attracted to her. She knew that if she could stand me up but then get me running around after her later at her beck and call, she would have the upper hand and could control me.
In England I would run around after a girl like this like a little lap dog but not in Thailand where there are so many girls. In this country I refuse to allow girls to play mind games with me. If they start messing me around they become history very quickly.
They also have no respect for weak men and they see men who can be easily controlled as weak. You need to be firm with Thai girls but this is what two week tourists have trouble doing because their loneliness disappears for a while and they are complete slaves to the girls who know exactly how to control them.
Living in Thailand provides a very different perspective. I know the situation for many girls here and I know my own worth in this country. In light of that, there is no reason on earth why I should let a Thai girl control me when I have all the high value cards in my hand.
Thai females have immense power over men. They have the ability to make men feel wonderful but that power can also be used to control and manipulate. They can be dangerous and when you consider the fact that many men coming to Thailand looking for girls are weak and vulnerable it is a potent mix.
You only need to take a look at the typical single male tourist in Thailand to see that he could never get a girl where he comes from. The more cynical girls will chew them up and spit them out in no time at all.
I have made a point of only mixing with good people in Thailand and had almost forgotten how cynical some Thais can be but this trip on the mean streets of Bangkok has been a big reminder to me.
Friday 1st December 2006
(Retrospective blog entry entered Monday 4th December)
This city with the constant noise, heat, pollution and frenetic way of life drains me of energy in no time at all. I woke up this morning and got showered but then started to feel terrible and went back to sleep again.
Later on I went to the Oriental Hotel for lunch. I like colonial style hotels but not Raffles in Singapore which is a pretentious tourist trap. The Oriental in Bangkok and the Eastern & Oriental in Penang are my favourites.
The food at the Oriental is great and the service is outstanding. For what you get, it isn't actually expensive. My lunch today was only Bt660 which, considering this is one of the best hotels in the world, isn't a lot. If you go for afternoon tea in a top London restaurant it will be closer to Bt2,000.
The longer I stay in Thailand, the more I start to think like the Thais. For most of my life I have believed that appearance is not important. What people do and how they think is far more important than the way they dress.
However, there were some disgusting sights in the hotel today. Anyone staying there obviously has money but the dress code that applies to visitors from outside does not (unfortunately) apply to hotel guests. If people can afford to stay at the Oriental why do they walk around dressed like homeless tramps?
After lunch I went for a massage with the girl who gave me a relaxing foot massage yesterday. She's a nice girl but once more a little rip-off takes place that I won't go into here.
I take a walk around Patpong. Up until last night, it's been a long time since I wandered around this area and I am interested to see how it has changed. After a while though I get fed up with Thais shoving photos of naked girls in my face and trying to get me to go along to ab op nuat massage parlours.
In Bangkok I have a bit of a habit of meeting girls on the street - not hookers. Last year I met one and we had a pleasurable half day together but then she stalked me by phone for a year before I was forced to tell her to stop.
Last time I was in Bangkok I met another girl who was hanging around with nothing to do and we had lunch together. For me, it's just a bit of company with no expectations. With this girl I made sure not to give her my phone number.
On this trip I saw a lovely girl waiting for a bus; she was so gorgeous I glanced behind again as I walked past for a second look (which she noticed). I walked back a few minutes later and she was still there. She smiled and we started chatting. She could hardly speak a word of English so we had to speak in my stilted Thai but it was enough to have a kind of conversation.
It was around 4pm and she still hadn't eaten so we agreed to go for some food and found a cheap looking place at the side of the street. She told me she wanted pork fried rice and I opted for phad thai, both of which were Bt35. She only drank water and I had an orange juice so the bill should have been about Bt100.
While she was ordering I must have been day-dreaming because I didn't listen but a few minutes later the waiter came back and asked whether she wanted small or big prawns - goong dtua lek reu dtua yai. Without hesitation she answered big ones. I thought this was strange because she was only having pork fried rice but perhaps she was having shrimp fried rice instead?
The first dish to arrive was a huge plate of six massive deep-fried prawns. They were almost lobster size. I ate one. She struggled to eat four but managed the fifth.
The bill was a little more than my Bt100 estimate. The humongous prawns cost Bt450 and the total was Bt610. This 'cheap' lunch in a roadside restaurant had cost almost the same as my lunch at the Oriental.
I saw the funny side of the incident and it summed up all of my thoughts about Bangkok. She was a fourth-year University student half my age and not in the habit of picking up farangs. Crucial to Thais preying on tourists in order to cheat them is a decent command of English which she didn't have.
Nonetheless, the fact that she had been offered lunch by a farang meant that this was her lucky, lottery-winning day. All farangs have unlimited reserves of money naturally and she could have a slap up meal at my expense. It's just the way many Thais think. I let my guard down for just a few seconds while she was ordering and got stung (not for the first time, I hasten to add).
She was very keen on me taking her dancing in the evening but I declined. The first problem is that I don't like dancing and never have - even when I was young. Secondly, based on previous experience, I knew what would happen.
I would be introduced to some of her friends and then end up paying for everyone's night out on the town before being sent on my way back home. This is the kind of thing that happened to me when I first arrived in Thailand but I now know the signs.
We did agree, however, to meet tomorrow to do some sightseeing. She told me that despite having lived and studied in Bangkok for over three years she hasn't seen any of the sights and wants to go to the Grand Palace.
She was a real stunner - very much the type of girl I go for - and a day's sightseeing with her sounded like a good proposition. I was also fairly confident that I could prevent any further rip-offs. Our meal today was a little warning to me to watch her carefully.
We make arrangements to meet tomorrow at 10am and she keeps repeating the arrangements to make sure I don't forget. Something else is going through my mind though - also based on previous experience. In the past I have made arrangements to meet quite a few Thais girls but they never show up. Will she, I wonder?