Living In Thailand Blog
Monday 9th June 2008
Can you be too prepared for something, or prepare too much in advance? I didn't use to think so but now I'm not so sure.
The academic writing course I was asked deliver to Master's degree students begins this week. It is the first such course I have run and preparing it has been quite a challenge. I have proofread a lot of academic papers written by advanced Thai students and although I can rectify their mistakes fairly easily, will I be able to teach them how to avoid making those mistakes in the first place?
I did the bulk of the preparation for the course last month and completed about 90%. However, after reaching that point I dropped everything. In the last couple of days, I have had to pick it all up again to get ready to teach the course but I have had great problems 'reconnecting' with the project.
I don't like leaving everything until the last minute but sometimes there are good reasons for doing so. If I had left my planning until the last minute and gone straight into delivering the course, it would have been a lot easier.
Instead, the month of inactivity between doing most of the planning and delivering the course has now made things quite difficult for me.
I think there's a moral there somewhere.
Sunday 8th June 2008
After the price of a barrel of oil surged by $11 to $139 on Friday, am I the only person not living in a Middle Eastern country or working for a large oil company to be fairly happy with the situation?
I sold my car before I came to Thailand and although car ownership may possibly figure in my long term plans (if they work out), that time is at least 2-3 years away. The minor fare increases on public transport are insignificant to me, as is the creeping inflation.
A loaf of sliced bread costs me a few baht more now than it did two years ago but so what? I have chosen to live a simple lifestyle in Thailand which isn't affected greatly by inflation, interest rates or other external factors.
Ever since I have lived in Thailand, one of the biggest annoyances has been teenage street racers. I am not talking about the organised illegal events that attract hundreds of people who then gamble on races, but the informal racing that teenage Thai kids do to relieve the boredom in their lives.
Sometimes it is individuals (with maybe a friend riding pillion), or sometimes they race around in small gangs. Without any speed bumps, speed cameras, or police around, there is nothing to deter them from performing this dangerous and antisocial behaviour.
They're a menace to other road users and especially to pedestrians (except that pedestrians in the Thai provinces are quite a rare breed). Not only that, but because they modify their exhaust systems, you don't even need to be outside to suffer from all the noise they make.
As I was working in my room last night with the glass door open and just the insect screen in place, I suddenly realised at around 11pm that it had been remarkably quiet all evening. Friday and Saturday nights are usually the worst.
The usual sound is of a modified car or motorbike exhaust system - as loud as a fighter plane - as a young teenage boy thrashes his engine, revving to the maximum RPM in each gear, going through the gearbox as quickly as he can.
But last night ... nothing.
It might just have been a coincidence but it would be nice to think that the price of a litre of gas has now reached a point where it has actually started to have an effect on this obnoxious behaviour.
Friday 6th June 2008
The ratio of females to males in this country seems incredibly high.
A few years ago, a British expat living in Hua Hin contacted me and mentioned this. His approach in trying to figure out the ratio was to count people. Everywhere he went, he counted the number of Thai males and females. He reckoned the ratio was about 4:1.
I knew what he meant but figured there must be a good reason why this 'seemed' to be the case. My guess at the time was that it was some kind of an illusion. The official gender ratio statistics across the country are what you might expect - about 50/50 - but it certainly doesn't look that way.
Nature normally does a pretty good job of regulating populations and Thailand has never had an infanticide problem, like in India and China, where parents have been known to dispose of newborn babies if they are the 'wrong' sex.
I had a theory there were three reasons why Thai females seemed to be so prevalent, compared to men.
- In areas of Thailand where there are lots of farangs, there are also lots of prostitutes from the northeast so this artificially increases the Thai female population in those areas and skews perceptions.
- Many Thai men from the lower social classes are bone idle, while the women work incredibly hard. You therefore notice the women because they are working but you don't see the men because they are either asleep or drinking beer in snooker halls.
- Thai men are experts at killing themselves on motorbikes.
There is no doubt though that whatever the real figure is, there are definitely a lot more females.
I was chatting to my hairdresser yesterday and somehow we got on to the subject of ladyboys - as you do. We both agreed they were everywhere. She is single and was bemoaning the fact she can't find a boyfriend (a complaint shared by many Thai girls I know, especially once they reach 30).
She reckoned that after discounting gay men, and men who want to be women, 'real' Thai men make up only about 30% of the population.
One of my past students came from a large, rural family of eight children. Both her younger brothers were ladyboys, therefore 25% of the children in just one family.
You would be forgiven for thinking the university where I work is an all-girl institution but it isn't. What is agreed unanimously is that there are more girls but, by how much exactly, depends on who you ask. The official figure from 2007 is 66%, thus 2:1.
However, a female student told me the ratio was 6:1. This year's new intake has just arrived on campus. There are 'freshies' (the Thai term for first year undergraduates) everywhere and judging from what I see in the student cafeteria, the female to male ratio looks to be somewhere between 15:1 and 20:1.
So, what is the truth?
I'm not sure I will ever know for sure but what I do know is that it is one thing in Thailand you will never find me complaining about!
Wednesday 4th June 2008
A friend of mine once remarked that Thais are sometimes 'slightly eccentric'. Having lived in Thailand for a while, I think his words were quite kind. I prefer to use the word 'weird' to describe certain behaviour because I believe it is more accurate.
When I first experienced weird behaviour, shortly after arriving in the country, I couldn't make any sense of it but I thought that with time I would either start to understand, or at least I would be able to understand by asking questions as my language skills improved.
That hasn't quite been the case. Sometimes - after a lot of effort - I can find out what was behind weird behaviour; sometimes I can guess; but at other times I am left just as puzzled as I was when I first arrived in the country.
On my day trip at the weekend, I went by minivan. I hate the way minivan passengers are treated here but it was the only option. It was a small, very cramped van and I wanted to sit up front next to the driver because it is less claustrophobic than sitting in the back.
I went to sit in the front seat but the front passenger door was locked. I asked the driver to open it but he refused. I just got the famous Thai smile and a lot of gesturing to sit in the back. The look on his face said, "Now, be a good farang and just do what I tell you."
I knew that my next strategy would fail but he had pissed me off and I felt in a stroppy mood. I started asking him why, even though I knew this would have no effect. If you can't understand someone's reasoning in Thailand and ask why (tum-mai), you will never get an answer.
They will just smile or they will do something else that I will explain in a minute.
Just before the van left, a crazy old lady with no teeth boarded and sat next to me. It made her day having a farang to talk to and, as she fired questions at me, she held my leg and kept flashing me big toothless smiles. Oh joy.
For half the journey, the front seats remained empty until the driver picked up a couple more passengers. Now, why couldn't I have sat there in the first place? For no reason at all. But at least it was only a fairly short journey.
On a couple of long bus journeys in the past, I have boarded an empty bus at the bus station and sat somewhere comfortable. A Thai bus employee has then come along and told me to move to another seat. I have asked why but, of course, that is the question that never receives an answer in Thailand.
The bus has then gone a couple of miles down the road and stopped for passengers, only for one of them to sit in the seat I wanted to sit in (but wasn't allowed to), but now it's perfectly OK for someone to sit in that seat. Why? Ah, I forgot - I shouldn't ask that question.
After I got to my destination last Sunday, part of my mission was to get some information about hotels and guest houses. One of my questions was how many rooms a hotel or guest house had. It was a simple question - or so I thought - and most people told me but two refused outright, as if revealing that information would carry some dire consequences or something.
What's the big deal with someone who is running a hotel or guest house telling you how many rooms there are? At this point I was getting mildly irritated so, feeling stroppy again, started asking why they wouldn't tell me. I knew I wouldn't get an answer but I just wanted to make them squirm.
This is where Thais sometimes employ another strategy when they don't want to answer your question. They start to act ostrich-like and bury their heads in the sand. Both women, upon having to deal with a stroppy farang who wouldn't go away and stood there asking why, tried to pretend I wasn't there.
One went back to doing what she was doing and the other started reading a newspaper. With their heads down, they refused to look at me and pretended they couldn't hear me. Disgusted at how I had been treated, I called one woman crazy (bah) and laughed at the other before walking out.
I've had a problem with one student this week. I have taught her before without any problems but there has been some reorganisation of the student groups recently and she has switched off completely. She had a look of thunder on her face on Monday and I knew I had to take some urgent action.
I tried to find out what was wrong by talking to the other students and got some story that she wasn't happy with what we were doing in class (it was actually material that the other students had brought in, which they were very happy with) and that she wanted to do something different.
I prepared a special lesson plan just for her the next day in an effort to keep her happy. I bumped into her a couple of hours before our lesson and asked if she would be attending class later. Yes, she said, but then she didn't turn up.
I was determined to try to get to the root of the problem so I spoke to someone else who told me that she has a major problem with one of the other students in the class. They argue all the time and have never studied English together before.
Obviously, when she is in the same room as the other person, she feel very uncomfortable and just clams up. So, the problem was a clash of personalities and nothing to do with the subject material.
In Thailand it can take a lot of effort to understand certain behaviour and that's if you're lucky because in many cases you won't get an answer.
Thais don't like to criticise, complain, or talk about anything that could be perceived as being negative but often their logic has no basis. In a non-confrontational culture they will lie and do whatever they can to circumvent and avoid issues, but of course the issues never get resolved.
I later heard that the student in question has decided to stop attending classes. This, again, is a typical Thai response. Rather than tackle the problem by talking to me, explaining the situation, and maybe changing groups, the easiest solution for them is just to stop attending classes.
I've had this before with students who can't keep up with other students in class. If you are concerned about them, it is useless asking if they are OK or if they can understand. They will always tell you that everything is fine, and that they can understand, but then they just stop attending. That is their way of dealing with a situation they can't manage.
Just as I finished writing this, I received an e-mail from my brother in Singapore. He started the process of buying a house in Phuket earlier this year and asked a major Thai bank to do a survey.
They must have run into some kind of a problem and now they won't communicate with him. Despite numerous phone calls and e-mails, they are just ignoring him. He just asked me to help by translating what he wants to say into Thai to see if that makes any difference but I suspect not.
He sees it as Thai inefficiency but I don't believe that is necessarily the case. The person he is dealing with may not understand something, but doesn't want to ask anyone for fear of losing face; or possibly needs to ask a superior but doesn't want to impose on them because of the Thai cultural aspects of greng jai and kaorop.
In the case of hotels and guest houses refusing to tell me how many rooms they have, it may be because they don't have many and they see this as a loss of face.
Is it, as my friend said, eccentric behaviour? No, it's just weird. Welcome to Thailand.
When I first started running into these problems, I thought it might be the language barrier but it's not. The problem isn't language; it's culture. All countries have cultural influences but I have never been to any other country where the culture has been as powerful as it is in Thailand.
Tuesday 3rd June 2008
The Thai equivalent of, "How are you?" or, "How's it going?" is, "Have you eaten rice yet?" It's a question you soon get used to answering and, after a while, you start asking it yourself without really thinking.
The only thing to consider when asking the question is who you are speaking with and whether to use the more polite form of the verb to eat.
In the same way that, "How are you?" doesn't require a detailed, or necessarily truthful, response, neither does, "Have you eaten rice yet?" There are a few standard replies that are used 99% of the time. Occasionally, however, the question receives an answer that is a little out of the ordinary.
I'm working on a little project at the moment about a small town on the Thai/Malaysian border that only exists for the purpose of providing Malaysians with commercial sex. If it wasn't for the commercial sex scene there wouldn't be anything there, but it's actually a thriving town.
The entire town (which has grown enormously since I first went and continues to grow at a rapid pace) consists only of hotels, cheap guest houses, and hundreds of karaoke bars. However, karaoke singing is completely unknown at these establishments; 'karaoke bar' being a common euphemism in Thailand for brothel.
The town is full of Indian and Chinese Malaysian sex tourists and Thai prostitutes. A couple of days ago, I went on a day trip to get some information for my project, take photos, and talk to whoever wanted to talk. All the working girls I spoke to were from Isaan. I was expecting a few from the north but without exception they were all from the northeast.
I asked one girl if she had eaten rice yet and she told me she couldn't eat because she didn't have any money. The look on her face was deadly earnest. Her answer kind of floored me. I was thinking to myself, "What do I do or say now?" Thais often joke about having no money but you can always tell when they are joking. That wasn't the case with this girl; she wasn't joking.
There was a food stall right next to where we were so I reached into my pocket and gave her Bt50. For such a small amount I think that if she was joking she would have laughed and refused the money, but she didn't. I went off down the road and when I came back a little later she had bought food with the money and was sitting down eating it. In Thailand, Bt50 is ample to get a meal at a street stall.
She was a working girl and quite enthusiastic to offer me her services for some more money but I wasn't interested. Just looking at the type of men wandering around the streets was enough to put me off going with any of the girls they use.
It's the strangest of places. At first, it seems quite fascinating but after walking around for a couple of hours, I started to feel very uncomfortable and went home. I don't have any major hang ups about commercial sex but being in a place where that is the only thing there made me feel quite uneasy. At least Pattaya has a beach and some family entertainment.
It's the dirtiest and most immoral place I have ever been to in Thailand, and home to some of the rudest Thais I have ever met in Thailand. Even when I get hungry, I can never bring myself to eat there because everything looks so disgusting.
I was contemplating an overnight stay in order to get some photographs at night but there isn't one hotel in town that I would feel comfortable staying at.
There's a very sad aspect to the commercial sex industry behind the false smiles and laughter. The girls are only there trying to earn enough money to support their families back home and to do that they have to go with some disgusting men. But even after making that sacrifice, some still have days when they can't even afford to feed themselves.
Another sad aspect was that every brothel owner was Malaysian. I was approached all the time and offered girls. It was morning so most of the girls were free and their 'owners' obviously want them utilised as much as possible. Every guy that approached me, without exception, was Malaysian.
Having 100% of the money the girls earn go back to the north and northeast of Thailand is one thing, but the fact Malaysians are getting rich off the backs (and other parts) of Thai girls in Thailand rather grates with me.
I sent an e-mail to the girl I mentioned yesterday asking if I could feel her breasts after her forthcoming breast surgery. I did explain it was just out of curiosity and nothing sexual. She replied to say I could. I thought she would. We have only met once before, quite briefly, but she seems an obliging kind of girl.
She is also very keen to show me something she has had pierced but she didn't say what. I can only guess, but I doubt it is her nose or one of her ears. All will be revealed in due course.
Monday 2nd June 2008
A Thai friend of a Thai friend of mine lives in London, where she has been living for several years. I've only met her once when she came home a couple of years ago but we send each other e-mails.
She will be back in Thailand again soon but I just found out that the main purpose of her visit is to get lots of plastic surgery done, with particular emphasis on breast surgery (this kind of thing being a lot cheaper in Thailand). I suggested to her that before she gets her breasts done, she might want to think about getting her brain done first.
I was serious. I'm still trying to talk her out of it but the decision has been made and she is now very determined to go through with it.
Both girls are small breasted (like many Thai girls) and seem very conscious of the fact. What I don't understand though is how girls get so obsessed with their breast size, thinking that larger breasts will make them more attractive. Many men like small, pert breasts - this one included. It's crazy.
There was a programme on British TV many years ago about a young, aspiring model. She wasn't the brightest of girls (perfect material for a footballer's wife, in fact) but she had a very attractive body with very attractive breasts. However, she wasn't happy with the size of her breasts.
She underwent surgery and the cameras showed her straight after the operation. She looked as if she had been involved in a serious road accident with bruising, swelling, and huge scars on her chest. Despite her body being mutilated in this way, she said she was happy about the silicon bags that had been inserted into her body.
An old friend of mine who is now in Vancouver is always sending out joke e-mails and quite a few contain photos of naked women. However, they are normally always American women and - naturally - they have 'enhanced' breasts. When was the last time you saw an American actress or model with real breasts or real fingernails?
Apart from the fact you can tell immediately they aren't real, they don't look at all natural and they don't look attractive. I don't imagine they feel very natural either but I've never known a girl well enough who has had surgery. Perhaps Nok will let me feel hers after the surgery? I will ask her in my next e-mail.
There is, however, one common procedure in Thailand that looks good. Many Isaan girls have the bridges of their noses worked on. It is done so well that you would never know. The first time I heard about this was when a girl I had got involved with from Nong Khai told me she had had it done.
Since then, I've met a few other Isaan girls with pretty noses and have asked them if they've had a nose job. The answer has been yes but, as I said, without them telling you, you would never know.
With the girl I knew, she showed me a photo of herself before the operation and she had a normal Isaan nose - quite wide, with no bridge. The result of the operation was very pleasing to the eye.
There was a time in my life when I might have considered a nose job to sort out the excuse for a nose I was born with but I've reached an age now where I can't be bothered with what other people think. Also, living in Thailand, prominent noses are seen as a good thing. For the first time in my life, girls actually like my nose!
Followers of Thai news will be aware that - once again - there is some nasty stuff going on in the streets of Bangkok. Rumours of yet another coup have been circulating for several weeks, and the rumours have been getting stronger recently. It's not that I am unaware of what is going on, but I am trying to ignore it.
I am powerless to change anything and if I start following what is happening too closely it will make me want to leave Thailand, which isn't something I want to do at the moment. I'm not afraid for my own safety or anything, but I just don't like the way that Thais exploit Thais.
Since Thai politicians started using the rural poor as political pawns to enable them to carry out their own self-serving agendas, the country has been divided into two with no signs at the moment of a reconciliation to repair the huge rift in Thai society.
Along with the ongoing problems down in the deep south, it is just so desperately sad to see this divisiveness in a country which is rich in natural resources; the most popular tourist destination in the world; and where people on an individual basis couldn't be more friendly.
And this is all because a tiny minority of Thais are insatiably greedy for money and power. In a country which supposedly promotes an economy of sufficiency, it is a sad fact that this tiny minority can never have enough and they will never be satisfied with what they have, always wanting more at the expense of people who genuinely have very little.
I will therefore try to focus on issues such as shopping and breast implants and do my best to ignore the revolting world of Thai politics. However, if the situation escalates, it may prove difficult to ignore.
Sunday 1st June 2008
My eyeglasses broke last week and what I thought what be an easy repair didn't work out that way. I enquired at several opticians about effecting a repair but most said it wasn't possible. One place offered to replace the broken part of the frame but it was expensive and another said they could braze the frame but it wouldn't look very good.
Considering how cheap eyeglasses are in Thailand, I decided on the spur of the moment just to buy a new pair. In recent years, my parents have been buying spectacles in Singapore on their annual winter sojourn due to the high cost in England. My mother told me that a pair of glasses can cost several hundred pounds, which is ridiculous, but that is rip-off Britain for you.
Basic frames are very cheap in Thailand provided you don't require a 'designer' name which, fortunately, I don't. The biggest decision I had to make was over the choice of lenses but in the process I discovered a great bargaining technique.
In order to get a lower price, the thing to do is .... nothing.
Basic lenses were very cheap or, with a scratch resistant coating, a little more expensive. The next step up was multicoated lenses with or without the scratch resistant treatment, but the jump in price was quite big.
At the top of the price range were lenses with all of the above plus the ability to turn dark in sunlight. One of the girls in the shop (there were several) gave me a demo and it was quite impressive.
I sometimes suffer from headaches if I spend too long outside in the intense Thai sun and this can be a problem for spectacle wearers. One alternative is clip-on tinted shades that look a bit naff or to carry around two pairs of glasses.
The latter option is what I have been doing. I have regular glasses and also a pair of prescription sunglasses but it means carrying two pairs all the time and keep changing them. Lenses that adjust their tint automatically sounded perfect but the cost of the lenses was significantly more than the frame and I am a bit of a cheapskate.
It took me ages to decide whether just to go for a cheap pair or the fancy lenses which were what I really wanted. As I was thinking, the sales assistants seemed to be getting a bit twitchy that I might walk away without buying anything. I didn't say a word while I was running through the various price options in my head.
So as not to lose a sale, they kept lowering the price without any prompting. The frame I chose was supposed to be on sale at 50% but sales in Thailand are meaningless because items are 'on sale' every day of the year and goods are never sold at what is claimed to be the full price.
Also, when they can keep reducing the price the way they do, it makes me wonder what kind of profit they make. Anyway, I walked away with a brand new pair of glasses with super-whizzy, top-of-the-range, auto-dimming lenses for Bt3,000 which I didn't think was a bad deal.
They seem quite well made and the lenses work well. They are very clear and the tint effect is quite noticeable in bright sunshine. The shop was able to make the glasses in under two hours. I went for a foot massage while I was waiting.
There are eyeglass shops everywhere in Thailand but with such a saturated market, it can only mean good prices for customers. Every shop seems to have about half-a-dozen assistants who sit around most of the day doing nothing.
On quiet days customers are rare so if one walks through the door they won't want the customer to leave without making a sale first. You can turn this to your advantage, and all you need to do is show some vague interest.
Take your time and look a little non-committal, as if you might leave any second. In fact, heading towards the door will probably help. What you will probably find is that without saying a word, the price will keep coming down until in the end you are offered a bargain you can't afford to refuse.
With dental work also being extremely cheap in Thailand (and very high quality), I would imagine that any Brits needing a few fillings and a couple of pairs of new glasses could probably book a trip to Thailand to get everything they need and have a 'free' vacation at the same time.
It's a real eye-opener having a web site and seeing what people search for about Thailand. Ninety per cent of the time it's sex-related like the guy who arrived this evening looking for 'Thailand bangkok callgirl prostitute service website'. Sorry I couldn't help you.
Someone located in Germany arrived earlier today looking for 'Thaigirl slave sex chained'. Perhaps he wants to keep her in his cellar in much the same way as his Austrian neighbours?
There was also a NASA employee today who arrived at the site looking for 'tieland girl frend'. No doubt, when he finds his 'tieland girl frend' he will look for a job 'teeching inglish' so he can stay with her. He sounds like just the kind of farang 'Tieland' needs.
Another guy posed the question, 'why do men buy thailand brides'. Simple. It's because they're on special offer at the moment. Buy one, get one free. Next question ...
Is it any wonder that whenever I see a farang coming in the opposite direction, I cross the road? The other question in my mind is how do they arrive at my site after using search queries like these?