Living In Thailand Blog
Tuesday 6th November 2007
There's an old saying about being careful what you wish for because you might just get it.
After a year of very hot weather in Thailand, I had started to miss British weather but it seems I had forgotten exactly what that meant and how miserable and depressing constant rain can be.
About five days ago, it started to rain and it has continued to rain with hardly a break. The rain varies in intensity from light drizzle to torrential downpour but hardly ever does it actually stop.
Since the rain began, a dense canopy of grey cloud has completely covered the sky from horizon to horizon. I have not seen the sun or even the smallest patch of blue sky for several days.
Every time I go outside, I get wet - no matter what time of day or night. Torrents of water sweep along the roads, and the storm drains are now about three-quarters full. Everywhere feels damp; I can't get my clothes or towels dry; and I can start to feel my health going downhill.
The temperature is noticeably cooler but it is never cold here. Despite the Thais wrapping themselves up as if they are in the Antarctic, it's about 25°C.
The sky is so dark that whenever I am inside it is necessary to switch on the lights regardless of the time of day. Two sounds dominate over all others. First, the sound of the rain falling on my terrace outside and secondly, a loud chorus of frogs who croak around the clock.
I don't know what type of frogs they are but it seems as if there are thousands of them from the amount of noise they are making. They sound like huge creatures because they are so loud but actually they are relatively small.
According to the locals, the flood defences will be able to hold up for about seven days with this amount of rain, so that gives us another few days. If it continues (and at the moment there is no sign of any let up) things could start to get very interesting soon, with floods being a distinct possibility.
I'm not sure exactly what went wrong, but my little part-time teaching job has gone from teaching one or two hours a day to six hours a day. The good news is that I have still managed to contain it within three consecutive days - so I get four days a week off - but the current schedule is making me quite tired.
I had lunch with a Thai law professor friend at the university today and he said his brain felt numb after giving a two hour lecture. He is obliged to lecture for four hours a week minimum. Six hours a day facing students is quite tough and even by day two I am feeling tired.
Three of the lessons are two-hour periods and the rest are one hour. If I feel really on the ball it's no problem but if I feel even a little bit tired it can feel like competing in a marathon.
Without preparing properly I couldn't do it so during my days off I need to set aside time for lesson planning. I spent several hours lesson planning last weekend and need to do the same this weekend. I need to plan a couple of weeks ahead because when I go to Phuket to meet my family next week I won't have time to do any preparation.
Teaching can be quite tough mentally because it requires intense concentration. In many other jobs you can switch off mentally for a while if you need to but, as a teacher with so much attention focused on you all the time, it's impossible to switch off - even for a few seconds.
As I write now, it's 7pm on day two and all I feel like doing is taking a shower and going to sleep.
Orville Frank Mader is the latest person to add his name to the wall of shame. I never used to regard Canada as being a breeding ground for paedophiles but that's where a lot of them seem to be coming from lately for some reason.
Monday 5th November 2007
How can you not love a country where 'coyoty' (spelt in a variety of different ways) is an officially recognised job description?
One of the things I find refreshing about Thailand is the complete absence of any kind of so-called political correctness.
I can just imagine the scene at the interview. "Are you here for the job of Coyote, Pretty or PR?" "Well, actually we think you are a little too old for those positions. Have you ever considered being a Mama?"
I must confess, I don't know what the difference is between Coyoty, Pretty and PR. I thought that all these jobs were basically about young, good looking Thai girls in sexy outfits trying to tempt male customers into wherever they worked.
However, the job titles and potential earnings are different so I guess they must do different things. This is yet another aspect of Thai culture in which I need to do more academic research. I will keep you posted.
Meep meep ...
It's interesting what Thais regard as being necessary items in life. This came from The Nation:
Ratchanok Sulumnat added: "I have cut back on buying cosmetics, clothes and other unnecessary things. Last month I did not buy any clothes at all. I have to save as much as I can because I've just graduated and I'm seeking a job."
Yes, girls. Please remember that clothes are completely unnecessary in warm countries such as Thailand so, in future, please don't bother with them (unless you are very fat or over 40).
Sunday 4th November 2007
I firmly believe that the advantages of living in provincial Thailand away from the tourist areas outweigh the disadvantages but there are a few downsides.
Technology shopping, for instance. The Canon 40D camera that started to ship two months ago still has not made an appearance in deep southern Thailand and professional standard lenses are almost unseen. Basic computers are easily available but anything even the slightest bit unusual isn't available.
Food is another problem. I can't get a decent Indian meal for love or money. Most Thais I speak to screw up their faces when Indian food is mentioned because they don't like it but - like most Brits - I love an Indian now and again.
A couple of Indian restaurants have already closed down due to lack of business and one place that used to do some Indian dishes took them off the menu when their Indian chef resigned.
As far as I am aware, there are now only two Indian places left. One place never seems to be open and the food at the other one is not at all good. There are some great Indian restaurants in Bangkok which I make a point of eating at when I'm there and the same applies with Singapore and Malaysia.
Pizza is another problem. I fancied a pizza last night but the only options in town are Pizza Hut or The Pizza Company, neither of which sell pizza as I know it.
When I eat pizza, I want a proper thin crust and ingredients such as artichoke, anchovies, olives and capers (preferably with an egg on the top). Pizza Hut and The Pizza Company have never heard of these ingredients apparently, preferring thick, doughy pizza bases stuffed with cheese and sausage meat. Uughh.
Good sandwiches are yet another problem. Every now and again I fancy a Subway style sandwich but I think the nearest Subway franchises are located in Phuket.
The reason is simple and that is because there is no local demand. A couple of years ago I started toying with the idea of a Subway franchise but I think that such a venture would flop. These franchises in Thailand exist mainly to cater for farangs and you only find them where there are lots of farangs.
Not only do the locals not have much of a taste for Western food but they would baulk at paying Bt100 or more for a sandwich when they don't expect to pay any more than about Bt30 or Bt40 for a meal.
As I said before, "You can have anything but you can't have everything." I couldn't stand living in a part of Thailand with tens of thousands of other farangs even if I could satisfy my food cravings whenever I wanted to.
Another way to look at it is that because I can't get certain food, whenever I do manage to eat the food I crave it always tastes heavenly. Like sex, it is always better after an absence but every day it can actually start to become a tad boring.
Other things that start to become a tad boring after living in Thailand for a while are bus crashes and drunk or crazy pickup truck drivers killing and injuring innocent people. The carnage on the roads never stops.
In addition to having just completed four years living in Thailand, it is exactly 20 years ago that I first visited Thailand as a tourist. I can't remember the exact date but I arrived in the first or second week of November 1987, spending my 27th birthday in a Pattaya bar later in the trip.
I was a typical naïve, ignorant, stupid farang, and I was guilty of the same behaviour that so irritates me now with other tourists. The following is embarrassing to me now but we all live, learn and grow up.
I won't go into too much detail because there is nothing more crass than farang men in Thailand describing their sexual exploits with Thai prostitutes in great detail, acting like 10 year-old boys who have just discovered masturbation.
My memories of the trip are vague now and become increasingly more so with each year that passes. I have some photos back in England but only a few poorly scanned copies with me now. I thought I would make an attempt to write about that first visit to see how much I can remember.
I went with a friend I worked with. He had done a bit of backpacking and was (and still is) a wannabe hippy/tree hugger/alternative medicine type. Many years later he was to take a course learning how to administer acupuncture. He was (and I believe still is) 'Mr Lonely Planet'.
His Lonely Planet guide was our only source of reference and John wouldn't go anywhere unless it was recommended by LP. Thailand, back then, was unlike anywhere else I had ever been to and was quite overwhelming in a sensory overload kind of way so I was happy to follow him (and his book) around.
There were many episodes that are very embarrassing to think about now. I was about as green as any newbie to Thailand can be and made no effort to learn anything about the culture or language. I arrived not knowing a single word of Thai - not even a few numbers - and left the same way.
We trusted everyone we came into contact with and were easy targets for the dishonest Thais who make a living cheating stupid tourists. We were scammed many times in small ways and once in quite a big way.
If it were possible for me as I am now to meet the person as I was then, I would have hated that person. As I have grown older I have become less tolerant and I do not suffer fools gladly. On that first trip I acted like an idiot for a lot of time.
On the other hand, we both had a fantastic time. I understand vastly more about Thailand now than I did then but as my knowledge has increased, so has my level of cynicism. There is something to be said for being completely ignorant and naïve about a situation and sometimes now I wish I could be more naïve and less cynical.
Our journey began on a Philippine Airlines flight as we arrived at Don Muang. There was a strange smell in the airport that was still there when I went back years later. It's not a pleasant smell but to me it is always evocative of Thailand so it is one bad smell that brings back lots of happy memories.
Our hotel was the Manohra on Surawongse Road which is still going strong. I walked past the hotel last year and the memories brought a smile to my face. I didn't go inside but hopefully it has been refitted once or twice since I stayed there.
The taxi driver who took us to the hotel from the airport must have sensed how gullible we were and insisted on returning a little later to take us on a tour. Being gullible and naïve, we agreed.
He returned later and took us to a large outdoor Thai restaurant. This was my first encounter with dtom yum goong and I remember how spicy it was. He wasn't charging us anything for the 'tour' so we paid for his dinner.
After we had eaten, naturally he wanted us to enjoy more of what Bangkok had to offer single young foreign men so where else would a taxi driver take two stupid farangs?
I haven't a clue where the actual location was but we went to a fairly high class brothel. As the car drew up, the doors opened and after we entered they were shut again. We were invited to sit down and offered a beer.
There was no fishbowl, as I remember, but after some small talk several very attractive Thai girls joined us on the sofa wearing elegant evening dresses. We were then asked to take our pick. Obviously, the commission the taxi driver received for taking us there was his incentive for wanting to take us on a 'tour' but we hadn't realised this.
John and I have never been exactly what you would describe as babe magnets. From about the age of 13 my hormones had been raging furiously but with very few opportunities in miserable England, with its miserable females, to unleash my passions. Now, here we were in Bangkok having to choose between this beautiful girl or that beautiful girl. It wasn't the worst situation I have ever found myself in.
As far as money was concerned back then, what we spent was inconsequential even though the exchange rate in 1987 was only Bt40 to the pound. We both worked for what was then the most profitable company in the world, a position the company had held for a long time. We were both on very good salaries and nothing as trivial as money was going to prevent us from having a good time.
The girls went with us back to our hotel and the taxi driver must have received his commission. We had a shared room but decided that getting another room might be a good idea under the circumstances. The hotel also charged us extra for bringing 'guests' back.
The cost for the girls, the extra room, and the guest charge wasn't cheap but it was to be repeated every night of our four night stay in Bangkok. Money didn't matter.
Worse was to come. On another evening we went to a live sex show somewhere. I guess it must have been Patpong because it was within walking distance of the hotel. We sat at the front watching a man and a woman have sex in a variety of positions and then we saw a typical Bangkok ping-pong show.
This kind of show would bore the pants off me now but back then, seeing it for the first time, it was a new experience. I hate to admit this but our female companions at the hotel that night were a couple of the performance artistes. God knows what we were thinking.
On another night we went to a quiet bar just across the road from the hotel which has disappeared now. In the bar were a few bar girls who (looking back now) I think were very new to the job. I think they were just simple country girls who were basically very decent but short of money so had moved to the big city.
We had a good time playing darts in the bar (the girls threw the darts in a conventional manner and not with strategically placed blow pipes) and we treated them well. When it was time to leave, we were planning to leave on our own but they wouldn't let us. They just attached themselves to us without asking for any money.
Later, back in my hotel room with the girl who had attached herself to me, I was slightly alarmed when, in the final throes of our passionate embrace, she called out, "I want your baby." Stupidly, I didn't bother with condoms but was fortunate to return home without any nasty complaints.
These girls - unlike the previous ones - didn't want to leave in the morning. They wanted to spend the day with us and, as I remember, wanted to take us to a crocodile farm. We eventually managed to separate ourselves but it was difficult.
They weren't hardened bar girls and I don't think they liked the idea of what they were supposed to be doing for a living. All they really wanted was to find some decent farang men to settle down with who would take care of them.
They were nice girls and it's always a shame when decent girls are forced for economic reasons to resort to doing something they don't want to do. After her strange orgasmic exclamation, I always wondered whether she did actually fall pregnant.
It is not beyond the realms of possibility that I might have a 19 year-old child in Thailand who I know nothing about.
The only other sex-related incident that sticks in my mind from that trip was an afternoon session in one of Patpong's upstairs blow job bars. I think it was called the Kangaroo Club or Kangaroo Bar or something.
We sat down on a sofa with a beer, and two girls sat down next to us. After a couple of minutes, they attempted to unbutton our trousers. This was in the open, in full view, and I was having none of it but as I was fighting with the girl to do my trousers up again I noticed that John was offering no resistance.
It's a strange experience being in a bar with one of your mates as a strange Asian girl goes down on him. By the look on his face though, he was oblivious to everything that was going on around him and didn't give a damn.
Apart from our night time adventures, we did make an effort to do some sightseeing in the day time and took in several of Bangkok's major tourist attractions. Those four days were quite an introduction to Thailand.
Bangkok in 1987 was a very different place to Bangkok nowadays. It was a city on one level - street level - and very exotic. There were few signs of any Western influence. Nowadays, wandering around a big Bangkok shopping centre, you could be anywhere in the world but 20 years ago there was never any doubt that you were in a very exotic, Asian city.
On my visits to Bangkok these days, the only area that reminds me of Bangkok in 1987 is Chinatown which doesn't seem to have changed much. The rest of the city with its shopping malls, high rise condos, Skytrain, and elevated highways has changed beyond recognition.
The TAT statistics show that tourist numbers back then were just over 7 million a year but that's not how it seemed. I don't recall seeing that many foreigners at all, unlike now, where it is impossible to go anywhere Bangkok without seeing huge crowds of farangs everywhere.
It's quite possible that many tourists in Thailand back then were Asian so I wouldn't have recognised them as tourists. I can identify Thais among other kinds of Asian people now but I couldn't 20 years ago. All I know is that in 1987 there were remarkably few farang tourists.
The scams I mentioned earlier came thick and fast. Most were minor with Thais looking to make a little commission but one incident was quite unpleasant.
Walking around one day, two male students approached us and started speaking English. They seemed like decent kids and offered to show us around in return for letting them practice their English with us. We agreed.
They took us down to the river and hailed a long tail boat. We boarded and were taken on an interesting tour of the Thonburi canals. It was good. We stopped off at an old teak temple and paid our respects to Buddha before having lunch.
The boat driver then took us back to Bangkok. As we approached the bank, he stopped and started talking with the young lads. The conversation got quite heated and eventually one of the boys told us how much he wanted.
To be honest, I can't remember the exact details but I think it was Bt700. According to John's fabled Lonely Planet guide, boat tours on the river were a lot cheaper so we knew that Bt700 was way too expensive.
We attempted to argue but we didn't speak any Thai; the driver didn't speak English; and it was clear that he wasn't going to let us off the boat until we had paid. There was a stalemate situation for a while before I decided we would just pay him and have done with it.
I pulled out my wallet and took out Bt700. There was some more dialogue between the boat driver and the boys. He told them he wanted Bt700 each for us and the boys, that is, Bt2,800. We knew Bt700 was a scam but Bt2,800 was ridiculous.
"No, we aren't paying," was our response. We point-blank refused. What happened next was nasty but, with hindsight, I think it was staged. The driver started to strangle one of the boys and, to try to placate him, the lad took off his wrist watch and offered it to the guy.
This wasn't enough though and his Homer Simpson style assault on the young lad continued. The story ended with us coughing up the ridiculous sum of Bt2,800 which was probably a month's wages for the guy. It was a lesson that remains with me to this day.
I think the boat driver and the lads were in cahoots and had engineered the whole thing. It was quite clever because first the lads had formed a good relationship with us and then the driver used emotional blackmail to extort the money. He knew we wouldn't sit back and do nothing while he was strangling the kid.
I mentioned above that I am now very cynical in Thailand. A cynical attitude can take away a lot of the fun but it also prevents you from being ripped off. There are still lots of devious Thais operating in tourist areas of Thailand and without being cynical they will take you for as much as they can.
Next instalment: Koh Samui and Pattaya.
Saturday 3rd November 2007
Why do they do it? When life gets unbearable to the point that it's not worth living any longer, why do so many farangs living in Thailand choose the 'Pattaya Death Leap' and end it all by jumping from a tall building? It can't be a very pleasant end and all it does a make a mess on the pavement that some poor bugger has to clean up.
Waltman Stephan Ronald, who was living in Bangkok, is the latest jumper to make the news.
Heaven forbid that my life ever reaches that desperate stage, but if it did I think I'd opt for the "Viagra overdose and couple of bar girls" method, banging away in lustful bliss (or should that be blissful lust?) until my poor old ticker gave out.
On the same day - and just around the corner from me - there was another jumper. I'm not so sure this was a suicide attempt though. Apparently the guy tried to get out of paying his beer bill by leaping from a fourth floor window ... as you do.
Thailand is full of mentally ill foreigners. They can't deal with life at home so come to Thailand where they somehow think things will be different but when they realise that the same problems exist in their heads, there is only one way out.
For many, alcoholism and running out of money only compound their problems. It's sad but it's one of the reasons why I am very wary of farangs in Thailand.
It's sad for me too because by avoiding farangs I miss out on meeting some very likeable people. It almost happened again today. A Canadian guy from out of town approached me in a small restaurant with a question about the food. I would have made no attempt to speak with him unless he had spoken to me.
He was with his Thai wife who is only young but suffering from cancer and in town for chemotherapy at the local hospital. I ended up drinking coffee with them for most of the evening and they were fantastic company; thoroughly pleasant and charming people from rural Nakhon Sri Thammarat who I hope to keep in touch with.
Something I wrote about the Thai language previously was incorrect. I wrote it after being admonished by a Thai girl for, "Using an impolite level of language." However, after making further inquiries I realised that what she told me wasn't correct.
I have spoken to her a few times since and despite her outwardly friendly and polite appearance, she is quite a strange person with some very strange attitudes. She's a well brought up girl but also a touch haughty. She works as a head waitress at a hotel restaurant and last week she was trying to avoid me. To be friendly, I made a point of saying hello and asking how she was.
She barked back that she had a cold and that it was wrong for me to ask her ("Mai dee," she said). She is one of those people in whose eyes I can't do anything right. Anyway, she misled me and I, in turn, misled my reader(s) so I apologise.
One of the reasons I didn't follow up on my mistake was that I didn't think anyone would notice. This site doesn't get many visitors and I didn't think many could speak or read Thai. One did notice though so thanks go to Herb from Australia for putting me right.
The word in question was the Thai word for 'often'.
บ่อย (boy) is the commonly used word - the word I had been using before being told off - and it isn't impolite at all. I really don't know what the girl's problem was.
She told me to use ประจำ (bpra-jum) on the basis it is more polite. Nonsense.
My Thai-English dictionary actually gives slightly different definitions for each word:
บ่อย - frequently, often, unremittingly, repeatedly, always.
ประจำ - regular, constant, habitual, particular, permanent.
The moral of this story is not to take advice from anyone with a bad attitude. It's fairly unusual but you do occasionally come across miserable Thais with bad attitudes.
It was four years ago today that I arrived in Thailand to begin the life I am still leading. I actually left the UK in September 2003 but spent a couple of months travelling in Singapore, Australia, Indonesia and Malaysia before settling in Thailand.
The time has flown and it has been a fantastic experience. Thailand has cured my wanderlust. Since arriving here, I have only been as far as Singapore - and to Malaysia a few times for visas. Back in England I spent my whole life planning my next trip but in Thailand I don't feel the need to travel all the time.
In general I feel a lot more satisfied and contented with my life here and I think I only suffered from wanderlust before because I wasn't satisfied or contented.
As I mentioned recently, a lot of problems encountered by tourists and newbie expats disappear after a while, and as you become more familiar with the people, culture and language it just gets better and better.
Even after four years the language is still infuriatingly difficult. There are times when I feel I have almost cracked it but as soon as that happens I find myself in a situation where I can't understand anything or I can't make myself understood.
Last week, I tried to order a meal I've order a hundred times before. At first, the young female waitress kept repeating back to me completely different dishes to what I had asked for. "Mai chai," I kept telling her while attempting to tell her again and again what I wanted.
She stood there staring back at me with a blank expression, mouth open, shaking her head. Two more of her colleagues came over and the same thing happened. I then spoke with the girl who usually takes my order and she understood first time.
Today, while having my hair cut, I understood about half of the questions the girl cutting my hair asked. When I asked her about certain words I didn't know, she gave me alternative words (that I did know) which had the same meaning.
One example I can remember was talking about the cold season. She used naa for season when the word I know is ri-duu which uses a rarely-used Thai character.
ฤดูหนาว (ri-duu naaw); หน้าหนาว (naa naaw)
Note: The 'cold season' according to southern Thais is any period of three or more consecutive days when the average temperature stays below 28°C. In temperatures that would have Brits stripping off and complaining of the heat, southern Thais pull on their ski jackets and visibly shiver. It's hilarious!
Different words for the same meaning (verbs, nouns and adjectives) is a common problem when learning Thai. As an example, you learn the Thai word for 'year' and the first time that someone tells you their child is sawng koo-up you don't have a clue what they mean. This is exactly what happened to me shortly after I started learning and similar things still happen regularly.
The girl on shampooing duty today (from Phattalung) also decided to confuse me by throwing in a few questions in the southern dialect.
To say it is a challenge is a bit of an understatement. My attitude though is one of perseverance and, to be honest, I enjoy the mental challenge - despite the frustrations.
The other challenge I am attempting to tackle is that of being able to read proper written material. Menus, signs and anything else consisting of single words are pretty straightforward now but separating Thai sentences into words, separating Thai words into syllables, and trying to understand what the sentences mean is a huge jump.
Even when you have dictionary definitions for all the words you don't understand in a sentence, in addition to the words you do understand, it is still a major feat working out the meaning of the sentence. This is something I will write about later when I get time.
Friday 2nd November 2007
There has been another mass outbreak of food poisoning in Thailand, this time affecting 400 students. The last one I can remember was in April of this year at a funeral in Phayao province which affected around 300 people, killing a couple of them.
Unfortunately, this is another one of the problems in Thailand that I alluded to earlier when I said that Thailand wasn't perfect. I have suffered personally in Thailand on about four occasions and it really is no fun. A friend of a friend (an American guy) died from food poisoning on a trip to Thailand.
As with many issues, the government tries to take action but the message either doesn't get through or people just choose to ignore any advice they are given.
The Thai government launched a campaign called 'Clean Food, Good Taste' some years ago. Restaurants and food vendors that are inspected and meet the required hygiene standards can display the 'Clean Food, Good Taste' sign but hygiene standards at other places are appalling.
Other factors involved are economics (where poor food vendors will not throw away any unsold food) and basic food-hygiene education. In Singapore, food vendors preparing sandwiches and such always wash their hands and wear gloves. This is rarely the case in Thailand.
Also, there are not enough inspections carried out and when a problem is spotted, no one can be bothered to do anything. I was horrified after eating a meal at a restaurant earlier this year to find the kitchen crawling with rats but when I told the staff they simply shrugged their shoulders and gave me blank stares.
The incident at the funeral was caused by stupidity more than anything else after a dish was served up containing raw pork.
What is concerning is that food poisoning is impossible to avoid because the actual problem is invisible to the human eye. The food that made me sick in the past looked and tasted fine whereas lots of street food prepared in what looks like disgusting conditions causes no problem at all.
I should add that my comments apply to the normal Thai way of life in provincial Thailand. The situation at top tourist hotels and upmarket shopping centres in Bangkok and other tourist areas is, I would hope, very different.
Thursday 1st November 2007
I bumped into my South African friends today. They started writing to me from South Africa over three years ago when they were toying with the idea of spending part of each year in Thailand.
For the last three months they've been touring around the Philippines. Part of the reason for doing so was to look for alternatives to Thailand because of the visa problems in Thailand these days.
They e-mailed me a while back with nothing at all good to say about the Philippines and their views haven't changed. They actually paid extra to leave ahead of schedule and couldn't wait to get out of the country. Their view regarding every single aspect of life there is that Thailand is immeasurably better.
To rub salt into the wounds, the Philippines was actually more expensive. For the price of a very comfortable hotel in provincial Thailand, all they could get in the Philippines was a dirty guest house with no seat on the toilet.
They are having to make a forced trip back home to South Africa tomorrow after their house was broken into for the fourth time this year. It was broken into several times last year as well and they spent a large amount of money on improving the security. However, this hasn't deterred the thieves.
They haven't had the best of years. I felt sorry for them and also guilty upon hearing their tales of woe regarding some of my criticisms of Thailand.
Thailand isn't perfect but compared to many other countries it is about as perfect as you can get. I've been to South Africa once and it is a beautiful country with amazing scenery, wildlife, food and wine but the crime statistics are frightening.
From what I heard today, there isn't much to recommend the Philippines. I went 10 years ago but spent most of my time relaxing and scuba diving on Boracay island which was pleasant enough. Manila didn't impress me at all and it certainly isn't Bangkok.
I have no desire whatsoever to return to the UK or go to any European or North American country. Parts of South America interest me but the crime puts me off. Nowhere else in Southeast Asia gets quite the same glowing reports as Thailand.
Today, as happens every day, I have received lots of warm smiles and dealt with lots of extremely pleasant people. As I started walking home in the rain from work yesterday, a guy just stopped and offered me a lift.
To drop me off at my apartment he had to go the opposite way to where he was going originally and there was lots of traffic. He was such a kind man with a really kind face and had the gentle personality that is so typical of Thai people.
If I was forced to leave - or even if I decided to leave voluntarily - I am pretty sure that within no time at all I would miss Thailand desperately and would have to return quickly. From my teenage years until I arrived in Thailand to live four years ago, I travelled quite a lot but nowhere else I have been to is quite like Thailand.
As I said, it's not perfect but taking everything into consideration it comes pretty close. The South Africans are a married couple and we discussed the visa crackdown. They couldn't understand why I don't just marry a local girl to overcome the problems.
It's a very valid point. I think it's a case of that I will know instinctively when the right girl comes along. It hasn't happened yet - and I'm in no particular hurry - but considering that Thai girls are the best girls in the world overall and it will fix my visa problems, there is a distinct possibility it will happen some time in the future.
Now that the wet weather has returned I've noticed fungus growing in my room again. It likes wooden and leather surfaces. After returning from a one-week trip a year or two ago during a spell of wet weather, it was everywhere.
While chatting to one of my ex Ph.D students recently, we somehow got on to the subject of fungus. He told me it can be quite dangerous and that I should remove it using alcohol so as to kill it.
He said that if it starts releasing spores into the air which are then breathed in, it can cause serious damage to the lungs.
I've been removing it with commercially available household cleaning solution, not alcohol. The stuff I'm using contains 'RA killer' (or so it says on the bottle) which sounds good, apart from the fact I don't know what RA stands for!
It has started. The Bangkok Post reported today that the Thai police are conducting background checks on 1,000 foreigners living in Thailand - mainly English teachers. I don't know where but would suspect the usual places farangs have a preference for, namely Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Pattaya, Phuket, etc.
I have been predicting this for ages - not that it was a particularly difficult prediction to make. When every pervert and paedophile arrested in Thailand turns out to be teaching English somewhere, it was only a matter of time before the authorities started turning their attention to the English teaching industry.
"It shouldn't be enough to wear a white shirt and have a university degree. We need to know their backgrounds," said the police spokesman.
This is great news for Thailand, Thai students, and for Westerners in Thailand trying to live respectable lives.
With elections coming up in December, I spotted the election manifesto for the Matchimathipataya party in a borrowed copy of the Bangkok Post. I was trying to keep off the subject of Thai politics but I think this is fairly interesting.
I don't know what chance this party has of winning the election but the manifesto provides a few ideas as to what Thai politicians are thinking and gives the rest of us a few clues as to what direction Thailand may be heading towards in the near future.
The thing that struck me most is that there is still a great deal of bitterness towards Thaksin. Almost everything in the manifesto is a counter-measure to what took place under Thaksin and there are references that he is still very much a wanted man.
The first thing the manifesto says is that, "Thailand will follow His Majesty's philosophy of sufficiency economy to bring back the moral and the virtue to Thailand."
The King has been talking about sufficiency economy for a long time but such a system was completely at odds with Thaksin's system of greedy capitalism so it was quietly pushed aside. Now, however, sufficiency economy is talked about with much gusto by pretty much everyone in Thailand and I think a degree of moderation with less greed and less dependence on external factors can only be a good thing.
Next is a statement to counter corruption and malversation (also aimed at Thaksin) and it goes on to say that there will be actions taken to, "follow up and recover the properties cheated." The Thais definitely haven't finished with him yet and Manchester City fans would do well to keep an eye on political events in Thailand.
The first section finishes by saying that the situation in the south needs to be sorted out quickly.
The next section about the economy is quite interesting. It is necessary to do a lot of reading between the lines but there are references to the effect that steps will be taken to protect Thailand economically from other countries.
"To abolish and amend any commitments entered into with other countries affecting Thai people in any fields, such as agriculture, industry and commerce and rectify 11 traitorous laws affecting Thai people and security of the country."
This is strong language. Thaksin was a champion of Free Trade Agreements and did his best to sign as many as possible while he was in office but he always had his own business interests in mind above the interests of the country. As for, "traitorous laws," I think this statement refers to FTAs (though I'm not sure) and it seems the Thais will now have no hesitation in cancelling them if they aren't seen to benefit Thailand.
"Not to sell the state enterprises concerning public utilities and security as well as supporting the state enterprises to improve its administration to be more efficient and bring back state enterprises illegitimately sold for people's benefits and the country's security."
This is an obvious reference to Thaksin's sale of Shin Corp to Temasek Holdings, the Singapore government's investment arm. The sale included satellites and other communications technology, hence the reference to compromising the country's security. This was the final straw that brought about Thaksin's downfall; it caused a lot of bad feeling in Thailand towards Singapore, and the Thais aren't finished with the issue yet.
"To support groceries and small businesses of Thai people all over the country to be self-sufficient."
If this party wins the election, you might want to sell your shares in Tesco Lotus and Carrefour. Large, foreign-owned supermarket chains are an ongoing political hot potato in Thailand. It's all about protectionism again - even though these companies employ thousands of Thais, sell Thai produce, and provide large, air-conditioned playgrounds for Thais in which to enjoy themselves at the weekend.
There is some general stuff about improving the transport infrastructure but what I didn't realise is that the Kra Canal is still being actively talked about.
"To finalise on the intensive feasibility study for the highest benefits of the digging out of Kra Canal in order to support the transportation, commerce, industry, business and employment and develop the southern sea coast."
The idea of digging a canal across the Kra of Isthmus peninsula is hundreds of years old.
For a long time, it was too challenging technically but it has also always been a huge political issue. Such a waterway will effectively screw Singapore's port business which is a vital part of the Singaporean economy. Under the British Empire, when the British were colonial masters in Singapore, Britain had the power to stop such a venture but not any longer.
Not only would this benefit Thailand but it would be one in the eye to Singapore who the Thais see as colluding with Thaksin.
Tourism doesn't get talked about much apart from preserving the environment while developing tourist attractions.
There is a proposal to increase the salaries of village headmen (phu-yai-baan) and sub-district leaders (kam-nan) "in order to faithfully live according to the sufficiency economy."
Reading between the lines again, I think this is another little anti-corruption measure as the village headmen and sub-district leaders are very influential people at election time.
There are some general statements regarding education and healthcare but also religion, and for Buddhist temples to be centres for the "implantation of people's ethics and morals."
Good ethical and moral values are extremely highly regarded in Thailand and I think this is another dig at Thaksin. Some of his actions may not have been legally wrong (and he made sure he was always surrounded by a team of top lawyers) but he was morally bankrupt.
Nothing surprises me about the desire to return to traditional Thai values but what I'm not sure about is how far politicians will actually go. The Thais have always had these views but they also have the ability just to look the other way if something exists that doesn't fit in with their views.
In a country that supposedly espouses virtue, morality and high ethical values, how can there be so much prostitution and how can certain tourist resorts exists which are basically huge brothels?
The Thai view is that those areas don't really belong to Thailand. In Thai terms, what exists is on the opposite bank of the river. Those areas are for tourists, not Thais. They also generate vast amounts of money and that money goes straight into the Thai economy so why mess with it?
I therefore wouldn't expect much real change but if an overzealous moral-crusader was ever to become Thai prime minister, you never know. The other thing in Thailand is that what Thais do and what they say are very different. The rhetoric is often brilliant but seldom does it get turned into action.
I have to admit though that Thailand has become a very difficult country to predict. Immigration policies had been way out of line for many years but big changes occurred last year. The Thais are a law unto themselves, very headstrong, and never short of surprises.