Living In Thailand Blog
Wednesday 10th October 2007
My brother in Singapore has a huge DVD collection whereas I don't have a television and I only go to the cinema on average about once or twice a year. While I'm down there I normally catch up with a movie or two and on my last trip I finally got to see the much hyped 'Borat goes to America' movie.
The Borat character is huge in the States now but I first saw him years ago on British TV when Sasha Baron Cohen was an unknown. Channel 4's 11 O'Clock Show with Iain Lee and the gorgeous Daisy Donovan introduced not only Sasha Baron Cohen to the world, but also Ricky Gervais.
I don't know how much of the movie was staged, if any, but the response on the New York subway when Borat tries to introduce himself to strangers and ask their name is exactly what you might expect. Basically, "F*** off." It would be the same in London and most other large cities in Western countries.
To some extent, Bangkok is the same (the faces on the BTS seem just as glum as those on the London underground and people don't tend to talk with strangers very much) but outside of the capital it is a different story.
Asking strangers personal questions is quite normal in provincial Thailand and for foreigners not used to such behaviour, it can seem strange at first.
I was born in London and have basically a Londoner's mentality, "None of your business," but over time I have become accustomed to being asked in Thailand and it's possible to respond in a polite way without giving away any information if you don't want to.
Probably the most common question is, "Bpai nai?" (where are you going?) Thai grammar is very basic. No need for subjects, objects or helping verbs, etc., and verbs don't change their form. "Go where?" is all that's required.
If you are going somewhere in particular, you can just say, "Bpai ...." followed by the destination. "Bpai groong-tep," I'm going to Bangkok. Or if it's an activity, "Bpai ...." followed by the activity. "Bpai sohn," I'm going to teach or "Bpai shop-BPING," I'm going shopping but put lots of stress on the last syllable. "Bpai seua kong," is an alternative that translates to, "I'm going to buy things."
You might be going to eat but bear in mind the different levels of politeness used in the Thai language. "Bpai gin kaaw," is OK with friends, and strangers at the lower end of the social scale, but better bred Thais might consider it vulgar. "Bpai taan kaaw," is safer if you aren't sure.
Another point to make is that if you use a high level of language when speaking Thai, attitudes of Thai people will change towards you. Instead of trying to rip off the ignorant farang, some will almost start bowing in deference.
You can use the very vague "Bpai tiaow," which is a Thai cultural expression for going somewhere (absolutely anywhere) but for the express purpose of pleasure. "Bpai tiaow," is a sanook activity. You can use, "dern tiaow," to indicate that your pleasurable excursion will be made by foot. "Dern len," meaning a playful walk (going for a stroll), is another alternative.
"Bpai too-ra," is going out to do things of a more practical nature compared to "Bpai tiaow," which is just for pleasure - I guess running errands would be the best translation.
There is undoubtedly a degree of nosiness involved when Thais ask the question, but they also ask just to be polite so a polite answer should be given.
Occasionally I really don't want to tell people. Sometimes I make several visits to different places during the day, going back to my room in between, and the security guard asks me every single time I leave the building. It gets quite annoying so I might say, "Mai bok," I'm not telling you, but I try to smile at the same time so as not to upset him.
"Bpai tiaow poo-ying," is a Thai euphemism for going to visit prostitutes. You might get a laugh if you tell this to a tuk-tuk driver who asks you, "Bpai nai?" but don't use the phrase in polite company.
"Glup baan," is a common expression for going home. If you are going back to your hotel, "Glup rong-rairm," or a rented room, "Glup hawng." "Bpai haa peu-un," going to meet friends or, "Bpai haa fairn," going to meet your girlfriend/boyfriend.
So, don't get upset if you get asked by a Thai. It's only someone showing an interest in you and there are lots of ways to answer politely giving away as much, or as little, information as you like.
Remember that everything works both ways. The next time a pretty Thai girl sits down next to you on the bus, asking her, "Bpai nai?" is a perfectly acceptable and legitimate question. She might tell you, "Mai bok," or it could be the ice-breaker that starts off a pleasant conversation.
From personal experience, a pretty Thai girl has never told me, "Mai bok," when I have attempted this ice-breaking technique. If they don't want to speak, they normally give a very curt (but honest) answer and then avoid eye contact, thus using body language to tell you they aren't interested in continuing the conversation.
On the way back from lunch today, I called in to see a friend of mine at the shop where she works. When we first met I think she wanted more than a friendship and she hounded me for quite a long time but after a while I made it clear that I wasn't interested. She's a very nice girl though and I value her as a friend.
She told me she had just spent four days at home in Nakhon Sri Thammarat. I asked her if she had a good time. She gave me a strange look and told me her nephew had died; someone shot him. I was gobsmacked and asked some more questions.
He was 17. His father (my friend's elder brother) died 10 years ago from heart disease. The boy's mother is 40 and she has one other child; a daughter of 22. The girl was studying in Bangkok but has now returned home to comfort her mother.
He had been to a temple fair with his mother and words were exchanged between him and another youth; a young boy he knew. After whatever was said, the other kid shot him dead.
A few years ago I heard from someone else whose young cousin had been clubbed to death at a rural disco and last year, the daughter of one of my students was shot in the leg. I don't hear about this kind of thing every week - or even every month - but enough for it to be a concern.
I have encountered far more instances of premature death in my four years in Thailand than in the previous 42 years I spent in England. Not only do people seem to have a lower regard for other people's lives but also for their own.
I have eaten late the last couple of evenings and walked back to my room late. After about 9pm, there is very little 'normal' traffic around town as the streets are taken over by teenage motorbike racers. It's nothing short of crazy. They use public roads purely for their own entertainment.
Most ride in pairs, as fast as they can, and without crash helmets. They beam from ear to ear as if there is nothing better in life - and for them, there probably isn't. As a pedestrian trying to cross roads, it is nigh on impossible as they come from all directions paying no attention to traffic lights.
There is not a deterrent in sight. No cops, no speed cameras, no speed bumps. They ride with impunity knowing they will never get caught. Very occasionally, the police will organise a coordinated operation to catch them.
There was actually a story in the Bangkok Post a couple of days ago showing a big gang of teenage motorbike racers who had been caught by Thai police but it doesn't happen nearly as often as it should.
Inevitably, some of the boys push their luck a little too far at times. They combine their motorbike antics with beer drinking, and occasionally their heads end up resembling hard-boiled eggs at breakfast time after meeting a very heavy spoon. Life is cheap in Thailand.
While there are so many guns and motorbikes in Thailand, and for as long as there is such lax law enforcement, the premature deaths in Thailand will only continue. The activities that normally lead to an early death are mostly carried out by young males.
Statistics show that the birthrate ratio of girls to boys in Thailand is about the same but it is no wonder when you look around the country that there are so many females.
It's only natural - given what has been happening in the UK in recent years - to say that everywhere is the same now and to some extent I would agree. What is different between the two countries is how stories are reported.
You can guarantee that every violent death of a teenager in the UK will make headline news. In Thailand, these incidents are kept fairly low key, as are motorcycle deaths. If I just stuck to the media for news, I would never hear about any of the incidents that my Thai friends tell me about.
Another middle-aged farang man living in Thailand with a Thai wife half his age ends it all with a death leap from a tall building. Do you ever get that feeling of déjà vu?
As a tourist on vacation, living in Thailand can seem like the ultimate dream for many Western men but the dream can suddenly turn very sour. For some reason, the 'Pattaya death leap' seems to be the preferred method to end it all.
Financial problems are sometimes the reason, or just not being able to cope in an environment where the culture is completely different. Many farangs living in Thailand make absolutely no effort to integrate into Thai society, preferring to live in an isolated farang bubble somewhere.
The foreigners I've met who have looked most comfortable in Thailand are the ones who have made an effort to integrate. They understand the culture and speak the language quite well, if not fluently. They mix more with Thais than they do other farangs.
The first year or three living in Thailand feels like an extended vacation anyway but after that time, it's a case of only getting back what you put in and if you have put nothing in, life can begin to get difficult.
Thailand is not an escape. The sky changes (as do most other aspects of life) but personal problems remain unless you take specific steps to deal with them. For Western men not getting any sex, a cheap and easy guaranteed supply can seem like the answer to everything, but all the sex you can handle won't fix your problems either and eventually they will come back to bite you.
Tuesday 9th October 2007
เหนื่อยใจ
The Thais are an emotional race and Thai is a very expressive language, especially when describing feelings and emotions. Many expressions to describe feelings are 'heart' words and most Thai phrase books will give you a selection. This one, neuai-jai, pretty much sums up how I have been feeling for much of this year.
The direct translation is 'tired heart' but 'downhearted' might be a better translation. It's that feeling you get when all you want to do is live a simple life but for every simple task you need to do there is a never ending procession of petty-minded people there to put unnecessary obstacles in your way and make life difficult.
I am still planning to stay in Thailand for the foreseeable future but it doesn't mean there will never be a final straw that breaks the camel's back.
I went back to the immigration office today with the HR girl from work and a new letter but I still have no visa extension. The morning didn't get off to a great start. One guy who works there never seems to do any work and whenever I deal with him he is obstructive.
All he ever seems to want to do is pull out a folder full of regulations to explain why he can't help me and then send me on my way. I try to avoid him and deal with one of his colleagues if I can.
As we arrived today, he was hanging around in the lobby area dressed in civilian clothes and smoking. He leered lasciviously at my companion and made comments along the lines of, "Hello beautiful girl, what can we do for you today?"
She was quite taken aback and because of his casual appearance didn't realise he worked there so ignored him but it left a very bad impression with her. It wasn't exactly professional behaviour befitting a government official.
The next problem was that the helpful man we spoke to yesterday wasn't around today. Anyway, we did manage to speak with another official who was helpful and professional. Naturally, today being a different day to yesterday, there were different requirements.
I had to fill in another form and get more copies of my passport. He then asked for a passport photo and my 90 day reporting slip, neither of which I had on me. I was about to go home to get these items but he then decided that with two and a half months still to go before my current departure stamp expires, it is too early for them to grant me an extension.
I was given instructions to return in December and not to leave the country in the meantime. Of course, I can leave the country but as I am currently on a single-entry visa I will need to get a re-entry permit. These cost Bt1,900.
In December who knows what further requirements there might be but that is a bridge I will cross when I come to it. Provided we manage to deal with the same official we dealt with today, it should (hopefully) be OK. What is the phrase I keep using? Ah yes, "Hope for the best, expect the worst."
There was another interesting incident while I was waiting there today. An immigration official I wasn't dealing with came over and asked me if I was American. He asked in English so I answered in English. "No, I'm English."
Sometimes with Thais, if you reply in Thai after they ask you something in English, they get offended so if they open the conversation in English I will normally continue in English.
He asked how long I had been in Thailand. I told him almost four years. He told me that by now I should be able to speak Thai well and went on to say that if people can't reply in Thai, they won't get anything signed.
I am not aware of any official government statement regarding ability in the Thai language being an immigration pre-requisite, apart from applying for permanent residency. However, with immigration officials, decisions can be made at their own discretion.
If a particular officer decides that foreigners should be able to speak Thai and they can't, then this may influence his decision. The guy this morning made no attempt to test my Thai and his assumption was that I couldn't speak any.
I was actually getting butterflies in my stomach this morning and the girl I was with also felt very uncomfortable. None of the people at work even knew where the immigration office was because, as Thai nationals, it's a government department they never deal with.
I was pleased that the girl I was with got to see a little glimpse of what foreigners living in Thailand have to go through and I think it quite surprised her. No one is spared.
There was a saffron-robed Buddhist monk there this morning from another Asian country - I'm not sure where because I didn't recognise the language he was speaking. Many foreign monks (including a farang or two) come to Thailand to study Buddhism. He was getting just as much of a grilling as I was.
Visitors to Thailand will generally associate the country with lots of pleasant experiences but there are also a few unpleasant ones and dealing with immigration is pretty high on the list.
Monday 8th October 2007
I spent all of this morning on visa matters. My situation is looking more promising but it isn't over yet. I have to go back again tomorrow and, for all I know, I might have to go back again ... and again.
On Friday I need to do my 90 day reporting. I am on a break from work at the moment and this week is supposed to be free time for me but I will spend a big chunk of it dealing with Thai immigration.
I met the HR girl at work this morning and explained my problem to her again. She was under the impression that we would have to go to the regional immigration office because the local office wouldn't have the power to grant me an extension.
I suggested she call the local office, which she did. They told her they could extend my visa but needed another letter. She typed up a letter, got it signed by the Dean of the Faculty and we headed off to immigration.
Dealing with Thai immigration is never something that can be described as a pleasant experience. In the Land of Smiles, it is one place where you are guaranteed never to see a smile. We were met with the usual stern looks and almost an attitude of, "Why are you here?"
As far as I am concerned now, this matter is between Thai immigration and my employer and, just as I had intended to do, I sat quietly in the background and let her do all the talking. What followed was a fascinating insight into the huge cultural gulf that exists between Thailand and Western countries.
She showed them the letter she had typed based on this morning's telephone conversation along with my contracts, letters of employment, TEFL certificate, etc. The official didn't look impressed. Although the basic content of the letter was OK, he didn't like the format and the fact there wasn't a Garuda symbol at the top (the national emblem of Thailand).
What he did though was to give her a couple of sample letters which she took away with her and she is now in the process of writing a new letter according to the required format.
What was interesting was her reaction compared to how, for example, a typical British person might react. If a British person phoned ahead for requirements and was then given a different set of requirements when turning up later, there would probably be a big scene.
The person might ask in a hostile fashion, "Why didn't you tell me that before?" and there would probably be a few accusations that the official didn't know what he or she was doing. In Thailand, with a culture of non-confrontation, it is completely different.
She didn't react at all. Instead, her attitude was almost apologetic towards him. She didn't say anything but her reaction seemed to say, "Oh, how silly of me. I do apologise and thank you kind sir for explaining what I have to do now."
She is a very riep roi girl and her level of language when speaking to him was exceedingly high. She is also quite a looker which shouldn't make any difference at all but I'm afraid it does in Thailand.
I cannot stress how important the tone and level of language is when dealing with Thai officialdom. This is one reason why it is so much better - if you can - to get a Thai to help you with certain matters.
I am hoping that I will get my visa extension tomorrow but - as usual - I will hope for the best while expecting the worst. Perhaps they will send us off to the regional immigration after all or perhaps yet another letter will need to be written? I don't know. Neither do I know how long an extension they might give me. All shall be revealed later.
I've written a lot in the past week and much has been written in anger. I now regret some of the things I surmised but all I did was record my feelings at the time. Although I could easily delete what I wrote, I am not a big fan of history revisionism.
The point I made previously is that by only writing about the good things in Thailand, it gives a false impression. I could make everything sound perfect but if people move here and then run into problems with immigration they might wonder why I never wrote about such problems.
In light of what I have been through in the last couple of weeks, here is a summary of what I believe the immigration situation to be right now. Please remember that everything I write on this site is only personal opinion and conjecture.
Firstly, there is no wave of xenophobia sweeping through Thailand and the doors are not being closed to foreigners. That was just me overreacting.
Tourists are just as welcome as they have always been - more than ever, in fact, given the current economic downturn. If you want to spend 30 days or less in Thailand as a tourist, citizens from a long list of countries can just show up at the border and will be allowed a free 30 day stay with no questions asked.
Tourists wishing to stay longer can either exit and re-enter the country for a further 30 days at a time (they can do this twice) or apply for a tourist visa before they arrive. Either way, it is not difficult for tourists to spend up to 90 consecutive days in Thailand.
Longer stays will require a non-immigrant visa of some kind. If you are married to a Thai or have Thai dependents, you will need a non-O visa. If you want to retire in Thailand on a retirement visa you need to be over 50 and be able to show Bt800,000 in the bank or have a minimum monthly income (Bt65,000, I think). The other requirement is a police check.
If you want to work in Thailand, you will need a non-B visa and a work permit. However, this year there are more hoops to jump through compared to previous years and this is what has been affecting me recently.
The bottom line is that - finally - Thailand is clamping down on foreigners who reside permanently in the country and making sure they have the right paperwork to do so. Nothing has changed as far as tourists are concerned.
It's a good thing but the way they have gone about changing things is causing problems for everyone, including those who don't really deserve to have more problems heaped upon them. Never mind because the end result should be better for everyone.
The message is that if you want to live in Thailand, you need to have a proper visa. I know this will upset a lot of people (and it has done already) but such a situation would never arise in, say, America where huge populations of semi-legal foreigners could never stay in the country indefinitely just by visiting the Canadian or Mexican border every 30 days.
The fact that certain foreigners in Thailand have been allowed to stay in the country for so long without proper visas is the only thing that should surprise anyone. That the Thai authorities are finally clamping down on them should surprise no one. The party's over.
Sunday 7th October 2007
A few years ago before I started to learn Thai, a guy on a travel site who had often visited Thailand told me that Thais call scruffy backpacker-types 'farang kee-nok' which translates to 'birdshit farangs'.
After I started to learn a little Thai, this translation sounded reasonable and it was "confirmed" in the book 'Bangkok Inside Out' where the translation is given as 'birdshit whitey'. One of the authors - we are told - is fluent in Thai and holds a BA in linguistics as well as an MA in Southeast Asian Studies from SOAS, so it must be correct.
I'm not fluent in Thai and I don't have any such impressive qualifications but I'm not so sure this translation is correct.
The Thai word 'kee' with a low tone (ขี่) is the verb 'to ride'.
Pronounced with a falling tone, the word 'kee' (ขี้) has two meanings. On its own, it can mean shit, either as a verb or a noun. It is also used to describe other kinds of excretion. kee-dtaa is the stuff you find in your eyes in the morning. kee-huu is ear wax. kee-muuk is snot.
kee-bpiak is smegma, apparently. This is not a Thai word I was familiar with but I found it in my Thai-English dictionary.
Spelt and pronounced exactly the same way as the word for shit, the word can be used in prefix form as an adjective to describe someone having certain characteristics. kee-len (len means to play) is an adjective describing a joker.
kee-bon (bon means to grumble or complain) can be used to describe a nagging woman. kee-giat is a very common expression to describe someone someone who is lazy.
kee-mao is a drunkard; kee-yaa a drug addict; kee-hok a liar; kee-ray is someone who is not ugly but not beautiful either - kind of plain; kee-aay for someone who is shy, bashful or coy; kee-leum for someone who can't remember anything. There are lots of such expressions.
There are also a couple of examples of this type of adjective for people who are stingy (mean) with their money.
kee-niaow (ขี้เหนียว) is one and kee-ngok (ขี้งก) the other. Perhaps there are more?
The Thai expression for the scruffy farang backpacker types seen wandering around Thailand clutching Lonely Planet guides as if they were bibles actually describes them as being stingy rather than describing them as 'birdshit whiteys'. It's 'kee-ngok' and not 'kee-nok'.
The confusion arises from the ngor nguu character (ง) which can be difficult for Western ears to detect and Western mouths to pronounce. It is still something that gives me a lot of grief; an example being that whenever I try to say the Thai word for 'money' (ngern) it is rarely understood by Thais.
On the subject of farang kee ngok, the photo I am desperate to get is the sign that is displayed at some immigration points around Thailand with the Thai definition of a hippy. It always makes me laugh but there are certain places where they don't like you taking photos and that includes immigration checkpoints.
The definition is very specific about how hippies dress (the bit about them wearing no underwear is hilarious), and how they wear their hair. The purpose of the sign is because Thai immigration can refuse entry to anyone they suspect of being a hippy but, as you can see, they never do.
I'm either losing my memory or I'm not learning from previous mistakes, either of which is a cause for concern.
A couple of years ago I was alone in Bangkok and attempting the impossible task of trying to find areas of the city where there aren't farangs everywhere. I ended up somewhere near the Bo Bae wholesale clothing market and then wandered across some railway tracks.
A young girl I was about to walk past flashed a big smile at me and when I smiled back we started talking. She was a sweet little thing, about 20, from elephant country. Although she was working in Bangkok, she originally came from Surin.
At the end of our chat, she asked for my number and I gave it her. The next morning I was up and about very early and at around 7am she called me, wanting to meet. It was a Sunday. I met her and we went to Lumpini park and then to Jatujak market. We spent a pleasant morning together.
I gave her a little money with which she bought a pair of shorts at Jatujak and then she got a taxi home. That was the last time I saw her but not the last time I heard from her. She started to call me, which was OK at first, but she never stopped calling.
After a while, this started to drive me nuts so I stopped answering but this didn't deter her. Every day she would call several times a day.
A couple of months later I was waiting to get a bus home from Khaolak but it was a big holiday weekend and every bus coming up from Phuket was full. I eventually managed to get on a bus but all the seats were taken and I faced the prospect of a seven hour journey standing up.
She started to call again but caught me in a foul mood. I didn't answer but sent a very abrupt message telling her to stop. She sent a sweet apology that made me feel extremely guilty for being such a miserable old bugger. I should have done it a lot more tactfully.
Anyway, the young girl who asked for my number the other day has started doing the same thing. She calls and we have a conversation in my broken Thai and she then she calls again 30 minutes later. Like I did with the previous one, I have stopped answering her calls.
However, my phone started to ring again with a number I didn't know and a girl I have never spoken to before started asking me lots of personal questions. Where am I? Who am I with? Do I have a girlfriend? How old am I? Where am I going? Who with? This turned out to be one of the girl's friends.
I only gave the original girl my number because she seemed pleasant enough and I was happy to have the occasional telephone conversation. I wasn't expecting to be stalked. I have now saved her friend's number in my phone as 'Silly Girl' so I can avoid her calls also.
Some of the girls here act quite strangely. Some appear to be besotted but then never call - or never answer when you call them. Others, who seem normal enough, then turn out to be obsessive phone stalkers. The younger ones are generally more problematic which is another reason for my preference for Thai girls of around 30.
As a foreigner living in Thailand, how anonymous are you as far as the locals are concerned? As we breeze around, it can sometimes feel as if no one notices us or pays much attention but that is definitely not the case.
Last week, there were two occasions when complete strangers (or so I thought) said hello to me in the street and knew my name. One of them was at the wedding I went to in August - even though I can't remember meeting her - and the other person, I still don't know. She said hello and when I looked puzzled she walked off laughing because I couldn't remember her.
When I'm teaching, it isn't unusual for one of the students to tell me where I was the previous evening or weekend. This kind of thing has happened frequently ever since I arrived.
My apartment building is home to a lot of staff from a private hospital and I eat at the hospital fairly often (good food, very clean, cheap, and lots of nurses!). I only know one nurse who works there and she doesn't stay where I stay.
I bumped into her at the hospital on Friday while I was eating lunch and after lunch she took me on a short tour and introduced me to some of her colleagues. I didn't know any of them but several of them knew me. They didn't know my name but knew where I lived and that I ate at the hospital regularly.
In small town Thailand you don't have any secrets, especially if you are a conspicuous looking farang. The locals notice everything and, combined with the fact they like to gossip (nin-taa), you have to be careful if you want to avoid the wrong kind of gossip.
There are thousands of massage girls in Thailand and most offer a room service. As a tourist I used to opt for the room service and I did the same thing when I first started living in Thailand. It was a big mistake.
As far as I was concerned it was just a bit of harmless fun but I noticed that attitudes towards me started to change. The girls on reception stopped being quite as friendly and other people started looking at me in a disapproving way.
I've moved a couple of times since then and don't make the same mistake. I basically don't give the receptionists or security guards anything to gossip about. If I want a massage, I go to a massage shop and the girl doesn't come to my room.
You can adopt an attitude that says you will do what you want and don't care what other people think because it's none of their business. It's a valid point but, as a single male, this can backfire if you happen to meet a really nice girl.
Rest assured that she will want to know a little about your background (if for no other reason than to protect her own reputation) and there are ways the Thais have of doing this. The girls will go out of their way to develop friendships with receptionists, security guards, maids, laundry staff, etc.
They will build a network of contacts who can provide them with the information they need. It's nothing sinister; they just want to make sure you are being honest and that you are a respectable person.
The way any individual carries on is a personal choice of course but a warning that in Thailand your character is assessed and it can pay to safeguard your reputation. With so many opportunities for cheap fun, however, this is advice that is sometimes difficult to follow.
Just understand how the locals think, realise that nothing you do close to where you live will go unnoticed, and understand that certain activities will ostracise you from every respectable girl you might happen to meet in future.
Saturday 6th October 2007
This hasn't been my most enjoyable week in Thailand and I felt quite down at the start of the week. I won't say depressed because when I am feeling down there is normally a good reason behind it, unlike depression which comes on for no good reason.
I spent a lot of the early part of my life in England knowing that it wasn't what I really wanted. From about my mid-30's I started doing a lot of soul-searching to try to understand what it was I wanted in life.
In my early 40's I took a big gamble and broke the shackles to try to get the life I wanted and it was a gamble that paid off. I was suddenly happy in life again. Yet despite being a good boy and doing everything by the book in Thailand, it seems like a constant struggle just to stay in the country. Hence my feelings of anger and frustration.
I've written a lot in the past week at a time when I wasn't expecting to write much at all. If I'd followed my original plan I would probably be travelling around Chiang Rai right now but because of all the uncertainty regarding visa problems, and because there are things to be sorted out here, I cancelled my travel plans.
It's a real pisser because once I start work again I won't have many opportunities to do any real travelling. Never mind, or mai bpen rai, as the locals might say.
The other reason for writing a lot is because it allows me to let off steam. Unfortunately though, a lot of what I have written during this last week came out of anger and frustration. I never like what I write when I am angry and frustrated but it serves a purpose.
It would be easy to delete what I wrote but when I started this site my objective was to be honest about living in Thailand. By leaving out all the problems and frustrations, it wouldn't be honest and then the site would serve no purpose.
There are a lot of positives about living in Thailand but there are also negative aspects and the constant bureaucracy is a big negative. Because of all the immigration changes in the past year, the bureaucracy has increased.
However, my week finished on a good note and the immediate outlook appears to be quite good. I got my work permit extended without any fuss so that it is now in synch again with my latest passport departure stamp. This was a high priority task.
If your work permit expires, you have to go through the entire process of applying for a new one again and it is no fun. It takes a long time, a lot of running around, and requires reams of paperwork.
I spoke with the HR girl at work and she had some more information regarding the visa situation. It seems that all foreigners working at the university are experiencing the same thing as me. They are only being given short 90 day visas.
There is then a requirement for them to go to immigration with someone representing their employer to get an extension. This is what I will be doing next week. I will just sit there with my ears open and mouth shut and let the Thais sort things out.
I expect that we might be given the runaround a little (maybe instructions to visit the regional immigration office instead of the local one) and I am also expecting they will want a letter from the highest authority at the university - the President - but I am feeling fairly optimistic that the problem will be resolved.
When I was refused a one year visa I thought there had been a serious shift in policy but what I think is happening is business as usual - according to how problems are fixed in Thailand.
The Thais will often use a sledgehammer to crack a nut and they overreact (as I have done this past week). Whether it is a student uprising, a drug problem on the streets, or Muslim unrest, there are occasions when the Thai authorities go too far.
There has been an ongoing problem with foreigners living in Thailand for long periods of time without proper visas. They haven't broken the law but have simply used loopholes to reside in Thailand as permanent tourists. Some have done it for 20 years or more.
Many work illegally and don't pay tax. They don't undergo the police checks that certain other visa-holders undergo and there are no checks on their financial status. In the past, anyone on the run could set themselves up in Thailand where they could then reside legally forever more and no one would know anything about them or their whereabouts.
It was all wrong but a blind eye was turned. The incident I think changed everything was the arrest of John Mark Karr last year. Regardless of whether he was guilty or not, he was wanted for suspected child murder yet found his way to Thailand where he got a job teaching children. His stay in Thailand was on tourist visas, apparently, so therefore he must have been working illegally but no one ever checked.
This story got massive publicity; I expect the Thais got their knuckles rapped by the international community; and then something had to be done - and it had to be seen to be done. This is most likely the reason for what we are seeing now.
Given the problem, there are two ways to solve it. The first would be to increase the amount of screening on everyone who wants to stay in Thailand but this would be a huge task. The second way is just to make life difficult for everyone and this is what has happened.
The Thais know that the people who shouldn't really be living in Thailand will just leave because it is too much effort to stay - and they're right. Unfortunately, this blanket approach inconveniences everyone, including people who do have the right credentials to be in the country as it means they are given yet more hoops to jump through.
I should really have spotted this earlier because I have been through similar experiences in the past. I was therefore wrong (it happens a lot) about Thailand not wanting foreigners and foreign teachers. They do, but they want to ensure they have the right people and the method they have used, naturally, is a very Thai one.
Perhaps the Thai approach is the right one? Many is the time in the past when I have questioned Thai logic only later to see they were probably right.
Friday 5th October 2007
Losing my wallet or keys in Thailand would give me all kinds of grief so I like to buy clothes with fastenable pockets. The problem though is that most trousers for sale in Thailand with fastenable pockets are made of very heavy material that I don't find comfortable in the tropical heat. Also, the design of the trousers makes you look like Mr Action Adventure Man.
What I have been doing recently is buying cheap, lightweight trousers that are comfortable and then getting zips added to a couple of the pockets. All over Thailand you will see ladies sitting by the roadside with sewing machines doing alterations. They are very skilled and very cheap.
I always go to the same lady because over a period of time she has provided me with excellent, reliable service. She has just modified another pair of trousers for me and the cost for two zips plus her labour was a paltry Bt60. The way she does it means that the zips don't even show as they remain underneath the pocket flaps.
Let's be clear, the final result is not a pair of Rohans. Whereas the material used in Rohan clothes never wears out, my trousers will only last six months or so but they cost a fraction of the price and are easily and cheaply replaced - Bt199 for the trousers and Bt60 for the alterations.
There was actually a search engine query for 'Thai idioms' a few days ago which pleased me. This site doesn't get much traffic, not that it concerns me because I only do it to amuse myself anyway.
Most visitors arrive at the page I wrote about Thai girls and then they leave without looking at anything else. The top search engine keywords are 'girls' 'thailand' 'thai' 'sex' 'girl' 'bar' which kind of sums up how many foreigners view the country.
A one-handed typist located in Au Sable Forks, New York, USA arrived yesterday looking for 'live chats with girls that just want to have sex'. It's sad but true.
It's good when someone arrives who shares some of my own interests. Not that I am uninterested in Thai girls - far from it - but any single-minded obsession is unhealthy and the lovely Thai girls are only one aspect of Thailand, albeit a fairly significant one.
When I wrote about Thai idioms last month, I forgot to add one of the most commonly used ones. Riep roy is variously translated to mean neat, tidy, well-mannered, peaceful but, like many Thai expressions, the actual meaning goes far beyond a simple translation.
Riep means level, or even, and roy is Thai for a hundred which, presumably, means perfectly 100% level. I'm not exactly sure.
You hear the expression quite often, both in a positive and negative (mai riep roy) sense. Thais, instead of asking, "How are you?" as a polite kind of greeting ask, "Have you eaten yet?" If they have eaten, they will sometimes reply, "riep roy lair-ow," which means that their stomach is full and everything is on the level.
If you check out of a hotel and the receptionist wants to tell you that everything is OK, there is nothing missing from the minibar, and your bill is settled, she will tell you, "Riep roy."
On the other hand, if you leave for work with your collar sticking up at the back or with a stain on your trousers, it is mai riep roy. Girls of dubious profession and ones who smoke or drink are also considered mai riep roy.
It's a handy phrase to know in Thailand and for those with an interest in written Thai, here's the Thai version:
เรียบร้อย - riep roy
ไม่เรียบร้อย - mai riep roy
Thursday 4th October 2007
I have the bit between my teeth trying to figure out what is going on in Thailand at the moment. People such as myself are obviously unwanted in the country so I took a look at the Tourism Authority of Thailand (TAT) web site to see just what kind of foreigners are wanted in Thailand.
Naturally, it's very shortsighted and all about money. How Thai. Thailand has noticed that the world economy has been very good in recent years but rather than try to compete on equal terms with fast-developing countries (which is hard work), the Thais are happy to sit back and watch other countries get richer while hoping that more global wealth will result in more tourists to Thailand. It's an interesting strategy which is typically Thai. It's a strategy designed to get the maximum amount of money while expending the minimum amount of effort.
Over one million Japanese, Malaysian and Korean visitors already arrive in Thailand each year. The Thais are hoping soon that Chinese and Indian visitor numbers will follow suit. These countries, after all, have had the fastest growing economies in recent years and all those rupees and yuan smell extremely sweet to Thai noses.
European countries continue to provide a lot of tourists while visitor numbers are growing from Russia, the Middle East and South Africa. And who cares that the majority of visitors are single males who just look at the country as a huge brothel? Money is money, right? Thailand is also very keen to attract foreigners seeking medical operations and procedures (health tourism) and wants a slice of the MICE (Meetings, Incentives, Conventions, Exhibitions) market.
There is nothing particularly wrong with any of this but one paragraph in the TAT report confused me slightly:
"This year, according to Mrs Phornsiri, the post-tsunami growth rate of 20% is unlikely to be attained, which should give the country a golden opportunity to adjust many of the tourism policies and marketing strategies in line with the sufficiency economy principles of His Majesty the King."
What is puzzling me is that I can't figure out how relying so heavily on foreign tourism to hold up the economy falls into line with the principles of sufficiency economy. It's completely the opposite, in fact.
Here is a short extract regarding sufficiency economy:
"Sufficiency Economy" is a philosophy that stresses the middle path as the overriding principle for appropriate conduct by the populace at all levels. This applies to conduct at the level of the individual, families, and communities, as well as to the choice of a balanced development strategy for the nation so as to modernise in line with the forces of globalisation while shielding against inevitable shocks and excesses that arise.
Relying so much on foreign tourism is not a balanced development strategy. It means that Thailand does well when other countries do well but when the going gets tough and foreigners cut down on luxury items, such as holidays to exotic locations, Thailand suffers.
Depending on what source you look at, tourism in Thailand represents anything from 5% to almost 8% of GDP and one source predicts the figure will be 12.6% in 2014. This is not sufficiency economy!
Regarding the phrase 'shielding against inevitable shocks and excesses that arise' from the extract above, the clever people at the TAT might want to take a look at this report from Alan Greenspan who predicts that the good times are over for the world economy. They might also want to look up the definition of 'economic bubble'.
Another failing of the Thais, besides not being able to see very far into the future, is terrible memory. Don't they remember what happened 10 years ago? They certainly should do because the 1997 Asian financial crisis hurt a lot of Thai people.
To me, sufficiency economy is not about building huge sectors of the economy that rely on external factors. It is about creating wealth in the country by importing foreign skills and developing domestic skills but as we have seen with the visa clampdown, Thailand doesn't appear to want any foreigners in the country transferring skills.
It seems the only foreigners wanted in Thailand are those that go to Khaolak for two weeks, spend Bt10,000 a night on accommodation in an expensive spa resort, spend more money on expensive spa treatments and goodies, and then return home.
Of course, before they are allowed to return home they must pay their Bt700 airport departure tax for having been given the privilege to spend so much of their money in Thailand.
It is very shortsighted and, if Mr Greenspan's prediction is correct, there are some very troubled times ahead for the Land of Smiles.
A couple of years ago I never imagined I would ever be this cynical. I always used to be very defensive about the Thai way of doing things and when I started reading about sufficiency economy I thought it was brilliant. It seemed to be the perfect antidote to rampant capitalism that the world needed.
However, what you realise in Thailand after a while is that what Thais say and what they do are two very different entities. The primary concern with any decision is money and the money only goes to a select minority. The wealth gap in Thailand between the 'haves' and 'have nots' is massive and growing all the time.
I could be very wrong - it wouldn't be the first time - but I am still very puzzled as to what exactly is going on.
A young waitress I have been innocently flirting with for a long time asked for my phone number this evening. Since Iss moved back to her home at the start of the year, I consider her my best friend rather than my girlfriend; and I consider myself single which is my preferred status in Thailand. I gave the girl my number.
She always pays me a lot of attention and she is now the third 20 year-old who has done the same thing and has my number. This might sound boastful but it means nothing, as I will explain in a moment.
I am almost 47 but having 19 and 20 year-old Thai girls flirt with me is nothing unusual. When it happens - as it does to all foreign men in Thailand, regardless of their age - it actually means one of two things.
The girl could be from a poor background and needs money to support her family. Three things to ask yourself are where you met her, under what circumstances did you meet her, and where in Thailand is she from? If you met her in a tourist resort (especially a bar), and she's from the northeast region, then her interest is a financial one.
The three young girls I know are all as cute as buttons and, as daughters, they would make me a very proud father but I don't really have any other interest other than being on friendly terms with pleasant Thai people regardless of their age or gender. Thais don't grow up as quickly as Westerners and at 19 or 20 they still seem like 15 or 16 year-olds.
These girls are all from good families in the conservative south (Satun, Songkhla and Phattalung) and I am over 99% sure they are untouched. When they call, or when I speak to them in person, there is never any suggestion that I visit them in their room or they come to mine. That sort of thing is out of the question with girls like this.
So why are they interested in an old, white-haired farang? It's not money. Two of them I have known for a while and money is never mentioned. Most southern Thais are too proud to ask for money even if they need it.
The first one is now studying in Bangkok and she is quite career minded. She has a real interest in English and when I first met her, she wanted to practice speaking with me.
The other two have dead-end jobs and I think it is the novelty factor. They do the same boring job day-in and day-out and see the same people all the time. I am just someone who is different. None of these girls have regular dealings with farangs so I am a bit of a novelty.
The two that have dead-end jobs don't speak any English so we speak in Thai. My conversational Thai is limited but it's better than nothing so at least we can communicate to an extent. Grinning inanely at each other when neither person can speak the other's language gets boring very quickly.
What was the point of writing about this?
I guess the point is that if, like me, you are past your sell-by date in a Western country and come to Thailand to live or for a vacation, don't read too much into this type of thing.
Farang males, regardless of age or appearance, will find that young, pretty Thai girls pay attention to them but it's nothing to get excited about. She's either in need of money, in which case - and this word sounds harsh but I'm afraid it's accurate - she is a prostitute, or you are nothing more than a novelty.
Another thing that happens fairly often is that after paying you so much attention, you will then find you get dropped very quickly as she loses interest in you or gets interested in someone else. If you are over 40, use your years of worldly experience to work out what is going on and don't delude yourself. There's no fool like an old fool.
Iss and most of my other female friends in Thailand are all around 30. It's a good age, and my preferred age for Thai girls. They all still look great but the extra maturity is very welcome. As a farang, there are many things in Thailand that are very difficult to deal with but having the right girlfriend (or female friends) can make life an awful lot easier.
However, you need a girl with some education and a degree of maturity. The country is full of such girls and many are still single. Getting to know them takes a little more effort than playing a game of pool or Connect-Four in a Patong bar but it's worth it.
Wednesday 3rd October 2007
A pot of Thai food being prepared in a Thai restaurant in London sparked fears of a biological terror attack resulting in the street being closed off for three hours!
The dish in question happens to be one of my favourites but it isn't 'red-hot' as the BBC report describes. However, chillies cooking do irritate your lungs and make you cough. I sometimes get a mouthful as I pass street vendors and the fumes are quite noxious.
You haven't smelt anything until you've smelt som-tum bplaa raa, the heavily fermented fish sauce favoured by Isaan natives. Durians are one of my other favourites. Thais are actually very sensitive regarding bad smells - except when it comes to food.
I noticed another interesting search engine query a few days ago that resulted in a visitor finding this site. "What do Western men see in Asian and Thai girls?" I will bear this question in mind should I ever decide to write an FAQ.
It's a question I could answer by writing a 10 page thesis or simply by saying, "Come to Thailand and find out for yourself." If I'd been carrying my camera today, I could have explained with a single photograph.
I was suddenly confronted by three scary-looking, stony-faced, overweight, dyed-blonde, British females. I can pick out farangs of different nationalities fairly easily just by the way they dress and their facial expressions. Brits are particularly easy.
Farang dress sense in Thailand rarely extends beyond activity shorts and Teva sandals or - in the case of hippy-type, Lonely Planet readers - baggy fisherman pants and rubber flip-flops. Americans always have something on their heads (a baseball cap or a bandana), be they indoors or outdoors, and American facial expressions are quite unique. They are also the ones most likely to wear moustaches or goatee beards, and American men are quite similar.
British males favour tattoos, shaven heads, replica football jerseys and expensive training shoes while females over 30 tend to model themselves on Pat from Eastenders.
Not only do they base their appearance on British pub landladies - dyed blonde hair, big earrings, cigarette in one hand, drink in the other - but also their persona.
They wear a constant look on their faces that says, "Don't ******* mess with me," and they are not shy in unleashing a torrent of verbal abuse if you say something wrong or look at them in the wrong way. There is nothing about their appearance or personality that is the least bit attractive. Most Thai girls, on the other hand, could not be more different.
It is an unwritten law for farang males living in Thailand to viciously slate farang females but I don't find all of them unattractive. There are plenty of dark-haired farang girls in their 20s (I can't stand blondes) who I would be quite happy with but I wouldn't stand a cat in hell's chance of entering into a relationship with one.
Does that answer the question?
Yesterday, I spoke with the girl who is my primary contact at work. I want her to go to the local immigration office with me so they can tell her directly what is required to get me a visa extension instead of me half understanding and then trying to pass on second-hand information.
When I told her about my problems at the Thai Embassy in Singapore, she didn't sound very surprised. She had heard something going around the university regarding a general clampdown on foreign workers. She didn't know enough to give me any details but will ask some of her colleagues in order to find out more.
Whatever it is, it seems to be an unconditional blanket ruling affecting all foreign workers, limiting the length of their contracts. What the point of this might be, I haven't a clue. This is Thailand and there is no point trying to find any logic regarding their decisions.
As I said recently, I normally steer clear of forums but in light of my own situation, I was interested to see what is going on elsewhere so took a quick look at the Thaivisa forums. The situation in general is not looking very rosy for foreigners who aren't old enough to qualify for retirement visas.
Many people have left Thailand, apparently, and others are set to leave. This fits with my own observations. In the past year, the farang demographic has definitely changed in the country. Not only are there less farangs overall now but a lot of the younger guys seem to have gone. I mainly see old men now who I assume are on non-O retirement visas. It's good news if you hold shares in Pfizer.
I am still a little puzzled as to why I am threatened by this clampdown. I have a work permit and I am providing a key skill. If I was residing in Thailand while making a living on-line, day-trading or writing software or something, and didn't have a proper visa or work permit I would be justifiably worried but why qualified TEFL teachers?
I am not feeling very welcome here at the moment and I don't feel over optimistic about being able to stay for much longer on my current arrangement but I shall see what happens. Hope for the best, expect the worst is probably the best maxim.
Someone who is making a living in Thailand writing software wrote telling me he has been staying on tourist visas. This quite surprised me. Having closed one loophole, I couldn't imagine the authorities would be blind for very long regarding another easy way to reside in Thailand without a proper long-term visa.
Anyway, according to the Thaivisa forums, the new ruling is that it's three strikes and you are out. Three tourist visas in your passport is now the limit.
There was another interesting post about the old 'investment visa'. Once upon a time, if you invested Bt3 million or more in a condo, you could get a special 'investment' visa. This was done away with last year but anyone who already had such a visa was allowed to continue with the same arrangement, in other words, the arrangement was 'grandfathered'.
What the post said though was that they now take into account the current value of your condo, not the purchase price. The guy's condo had dropped in value to below Bt3 million so they refused him a new visa. Immigration said he could make up the difference in cash and put it in a Thai bank account but it was over Bt700,000. This is nasty and I really feel for the guy.
I have never been convinced about buying property in Thailand being a very good idea. For a start, there seems to be a real glut of property on the market and much of it is overpriced. The general property market seems very flat compared to many other countries and property values have been falling rather than appreciating.
In the UK, every high street is full of estate agents (realtors). In Thailand I normally only see these in tourist areas where they target foreigners. Many Thais rent, while land and property tends to stay in the family. The property market here is very different.
Foreigners can never own land in Thailand. You can own a condo in a large building but not the land it is built on. It all seems too dodgy to me and in Thailand you never know what new regulations might be brought in. What you can be sure of, however, is that new regulations will always favour Thais over foreigners.
Whenever I fly down to Singapore, there are always adverts for fancy (and very expensive) Phuket condos in the Tiger in-flight magazine. However, for many potential purchasers, being able to get a visa to allow you to stay in Thailand so you can actually live in your property is difficult these days.
My property and stock market investments are all a very long way from Thailand and that's how I plan to keep it. Renting somewhere to live here is hassle and risk free and suits me very well. I still believe the best adage for investing in Thailand is only invest as much as you can afford to lose.
You have to ask yourself though, how does any of this benefit Thailand and the answer is it doesn't.
Foreigners are leaving and the ones who remain will be very reluctant to make any investments or long term commitments. It's a very negative approach.
Singapore is very different. Over the years, foreign investment has been welcomed and many companies have set up shop there. Many expats in Singapore earn a fortune, especially in the foreign exchange markets. However, Singapore doesn't resent the fact they make a lot of money, unlike Thailand seems to do.
Singaporeans working with expats also earn good money, the Singapore government receives tax, and the expats spend their money in Singapore. It's good for everyone. Many have invested in the local property market but it doesn't represent the same risk it would do in Thailand.
Permanent Residency status is easier to get and gives expats a lot more security there than in Thailand where most foreigners live on perpetual visas, one year being the longest most people get before having to apply for yet another visa and there is always the chance of being refused.
There are times when I feel like selling up in the UK and spending the rest of my days in Thailand but the risk is severing all my ties, burning all my bridges, and then having a problem staying in Thailand. What happens then?
Things might go very well for several years but what if the Thais bring in another new regulation which, for some reason or another, I can't meet. What do I do then?
Why did I have to choose Thailand? The answer to that is that it is a very addictive country and quite unique. When looking at alternatives to Thailand, there aren't any really.
The other question - and I keep asking this one - is who exactly do these policies benefit? I was one of the people who was quite pleased at first when the immigration regulations started being tightened because there is a foreign underclass in Thailand which isn't good for the country.
What's happened though is that policies are being implemented indiscriminately and all foreigners are feeling the squeeze. The foreigners aren't happy and kicking all foreigners out of the country won't necessarily benefit the local population.
Just what is going on?
Tuesday 2nd October 2007
As I was waiting for my flight back from Changi a few days ago, I was pestered by a fly. I suddenly realised it was the first fly I had encountered during my six day stay in Singapore. Every time I sit down for something to eat in Thailand I am bothered by flies.
There are some pleasant seafood restaurants at Samila beach in Songkhla but the area has a fly population of plague proportions. Every time I eat there, my dining companions and I spend the whole time waving our hands around during our meal to keep the flies off the food.
If you stop waving your hands for a second, a fly (or, more accurately, flies) lands on the food. The last time I was there, the situation got so bad I asked for a table inside but it was no better. This doesn't seem to trouble the Thais and I normally get strange looks if I show I am getting irritated, as if I am reacting over nothing. Perhaps it's just me but I don't feel comfortable with flies landing on my food as I am eating.
The dengue fever campaign continues at full strength in Singapore with banners everywhere reminding people to continue the fight against mosquitoes. It has been many years since I have been bitten by a mosquito in Singapore or even seen one.
I have only been bothered by them in out of the way locations. In populated areas you can leave windows open and still not get any mosquitoes in the house. If I left my windows and insect screens open in Thailand, my room would be full of flying, biting insects in no time.
After returning to Thailand, I found myself having to walk in the road again because people block the pavements making them inaccessible. In addition, they are in an appalling condition. Walking around in Singapore is so much more pleasant. The pavements are unblocked and in excellent condition. They even get cleaned regularly using high pressure water cleaners.
With the cost of labour being so cheap in Thailand, better and cleaner pavements would be an easy thing to achieve but no one seems bothered - as usual. Generally, the only places I see good pavements in Thailand are in heavily touristed areas where there are lots of farang tourists.
The one thing that does blight Singapore's pavements are discarded cigarette ends. Singapore is mainly Chinese and telling a Chinese not to smoke is like telling a Thai to wear a seat belt or not to drive so fast. They pay no attention.
My apartment building in Thailand is very well kept and exceptionally clean but fairly regularly I see discarded cigarette ends on the floor or on the stairs. It's disgusting. I spoke to the cleaners and they told me it is the doing of a Singaporean who rents a room.
The Chinese Malaysians and Singaporeans that visit Thailand for the weekend do the same thing in good hotels and restaurants. No matter how upmarket or clean an establishment is, they chain-smoke and think nothing of using the floor as an ashtray.
My Thai friend, Aor, who is now working in Lijiang, China tells me that everyone there smokes and they smoke everywhere. This is something that puts me off China. In Thailand, it is extremely unusual for a woman to smoke (and normally not a very good sign of her character). With the men, it tends to be a class thing and men with any form of further education do not usually smoke.
Other marked differences between the two countries are being able to cross roads safely in Singapore and the absence of wildlife on the streets. In Singapore I saw a couple of cockroaches and about the same number of stray cats but not one rat or stray dog.
Iss had a som-tum craving after we got back so we ate at a place that does Isaan food. One of the young waitresses had a terrible looking injury on her leg which I thought at first was the result of a motorbike accident.
To satisfy my curiosity, I asked her and she told me it was a dog bite. She had been to hospital for a couple of rabies shots but the entire course consists of about six shots. Iss went through the same thing a couple of years ago when she was bitten by a dog.
I was interested to see on The Nation's web site an article about plans to begin dog registration in Bangkok where there are an estimated 823,000 dogs - mostly strays. Thais don't like sterilising dogs - and they certainly don't like humanely destroying them - but they don't want to look after them properly either.
The things breed like proverbial rabbits and those that don't find sanctuary at one of the local temples just roam the streets. They are mostly inactive and sleep during the day time but at night, some form packs and they can become quite territorial. I often get barked at by stray dogs and I am always slightly concerned that one might bite me.
The new registration scheme - which is great news - will make people responsible (a word that Thais might need to look up in their dictionaries). If people want to own a dog, they will have to take care of it properly. Any dog found on the street without an owner (microchip technology will be used to determine ownership) will be removed and any owners of unattended dogs found on the street will be fined.
This new regulation will come into effect from July 4th next year but of course it remains to be seen whether it will actually be enforced or whether it will be treated in the same way as red traffic lights and no-entry signs.
I really need to write an FAQ for this site. Some of the search engine queries people use to find these pages are hilarious. Here are some examples:
"What do Thai women see in farang men?" The answer is a five letter word beginning in M and ending with Y. It's not 'marry'. Marriage might assist them with what they want but it's the wrong answer. Need some more help?
Another guy (I presume it was a male) wanted to know how to pick up Thai bar girls. Answer: Point to the one you like; tell the mamasan, "That one," and hand over the bar fine. There, that wasn't difficult, was it?
I am slightly bemused by the guys who talk about picking up Thai bar girls as if there is some kind of science involved. If the Elephant Man was around today he could have sex with a Pattaya bar girl provided he had Bt1,000 in his pocket.
What puts me off Thai prostitutes most - apart from the very real risk of disease - is not the girls themselves (many of whom are very attractive) but the punters who use their services. Some of the ones I have seen have not actually been all that far removed from the Elephant Man.
In what I found a surprising move, the BBC has bought Lonely Planet. If you've read elsewhere in this site, you will know I'm not a big fan of LP but that hasn't always been the case.
As an armchair travel enthusiast back in the UK, the first thing I did whenever I started getting interested in a country was to buy the relevant LP guide. I have a load of them in my loft in England and I have the Thailand one with me.
My views changed after I came to live in Thailand and ceased being a confused, ignorant tourist. I realised just how useless LP was but it was more than that. I didn't like the left-wing, arrogant, sneering tone of their writing.
LP is more than a guide book, it is a sub-culture. In Singapore last week at the Thai Embassy I saw backpackers collecting their Thai tourist visas and brandishing LP Thailand guide books. They looked like typical LP readers with an attitude of, "We read LP and we are better than other foreigners in Thailand because we have inside information."
LP's accommodation and eating tips are years out of date and of no real benefit anyway. Within an hour of arriving anywhere in Thailand you can find out far more about the place than what LP can tell you just by having a quick wander round. Their recommendations are just to fill up the relevant sections without being recommended for any particular reason.
It is natural to feel a little anxious before arriving anywhere we haven't been before and having a guide book to read beforehand can relieve that anxiety. It's a natural human reaction and this is basically what sells LP guide books.
It's quite unnecessary though, especially in Thailand where travelling around and finding places to stay and eat is so easy. I have avoided throwing out my Thailand LP guide book because it is a useful reference of places to avoid. The last thing I want to do when I travel in Thailand is encounter LP reader stereotypes so I just avoid everywhere they recommend and it works quite well.
Their Thai phrasebook is also the worst phrasebook I have bought, with lots of irrelevant phrases and awful transliteration. I know from personal experience that trying to pronounce Thai words and phrases according to their guidance will render them complete unintelligible to Thai ears.
Based on that fact, it makes their section on Thai hill tribe languages a complete joke. If the tone, rhythm, speed and inflection of phrases are not completely accurate, they will never be understood.
I just cannot believe that anyone with no previous knowledge of a particular hill tribe language could walk into a hill tribe village and make themselves understood using this guide. Impossible.
I hope the BBC acquisition improves things. Than again, do I really? The LP guide does a great job keeping backpackers away from the parts of Thailand that I enjoy and I don't particularly want that situation to change.
They are quite welcome to Krabi, Koh Lanta, Koh Tao, Koh Pha-Ngan for full moon parties, etc., etc., etc., because I have no interest in those places. Long live Lonely Planet!
Monday 1st October 2007
Today has been the wettest day in my part of southern Thailand I can remember since the floods that occurred late in 2005. Since that time, it has been exceptionally dry with barely a drop of water in any of the local klongs.
There hasn't been a glimmer of sunshine all day with a layer of solid grey cloud filling the sky. It feels wonderful. I took a walk today without breaking into a profuse sweat and my skin didn't feel as if I had been standing too close to a nuclear explosion. My room thermometer is registering a very comfortable 26°C and there is a cool, light breeze.
As a Brit, I didn't think I would ever miss miserable, rainy days but there comes a time after living in a hot climate when there is nothing more depressing than waking up to find another day of perfectly clear skies and to see the oppressive, blazing sun burning down.
I took these photos last year when I was travelling around in beautiful Chiang Rai province. Barefoot Burmese children climb over the border fence at Mae Sai to beg from tourists. They are desperately poor (despite living in a country rich in natural resources) and the looks of despair on their faces tell you everything you need to know about the evil regime they live under. Meanwhile, the rest of the world looks on and does nothing.
I don't know a lot about Burma and I certainly haven't studied the country as I have studied Thailand. It's a country that interests me though - both for its proximity to Thailand and for humanitarian reasons.
I've never been into the country but I have peeped over the border at Mae Sai in Chiang Rai province and Three Pagodas Pass in Kanchanaburi province. The Burmese women and children I saw climbing over the border fence at Mae Sai to beg from tourists in Thailand were some of the most desperate people I have ever seen.
The events of the past week have stirred lots of emotions. When people talk about bravery, there can be nothing braver than protesting in a country such as Burma where a brutal military regime exercises zero tolerance against such actions. I can't even find the words to describe Aung San Suu Kyi. She has given up her life and her family for the people of Burma and continues to be the inspiration that might actually bring about change one day.
According to reports, soldiers were picking out anyone with cameras which is why a Japanese journalist, Kenji Nagai, was murdered in cold blood. The junta is not happy for the rest of the world to see what is going on and that is hardly surprising.
As well as pity and compassion, I have to admit to also feeling anger - anger with countries that still trade with Burma and anger with those countries that stand by and do nothing while so many people suffer.
When WMDs failed to show up in Iraq and the justification for the invasion was changed for humanitarian reasons and regime change, the people of Zimbabwe and Burma must have felt pretty sick. So, what they have to endure each and every day doesn't justify intervention from other countries, then? Just how bad does it have to get?
China, India, Thailand, Singapore and others - including France through TOTAL Oil - all do lots of business with Burma. The country is rich in natural resources; a fact that didn't escape the Japanese in WW2 and the reason for that country's brutal treatment of so many allied prisoners who were forced to build the Thailand to Burma death railway.
Thaksin had a very cosy arrangement with the Burmese military junta. His family business, Shin Corp, sold them telecommunications equipment and in his capacity as Thai Prime Minister he made soft loans available from Thailand to facilitate the sales.
Thaksin was also very aware of Burma's tourist potential and keen to buy into an early stake as a personal investment, no doubt through his kids and one of his offshore holding companies (Ample Rich or Win Mark) to avoid paying any tax.
Not only are there pristine beaches in Arakan State and untouched coral reefs in Burmese waters, but there are also mountainous areas in Kachin State suitable to be turned into ski resorts. More about this from The Irrawaddy.
The following is an extract from 'Thaksin - The business of politics in Thailand' by Pasuk Phongpaichit and Chris Baker:
"Another target was Burma. Shinawatra Satellite had reportedly first become interested in the Burma market after Thaksin visited there as foreign minister in 1994 and learned that a lease from a Hong Kong satellite would shortly expire. Eventually Shinawatra secured that deal in 1998.
After becoming prime minister, Thaksin travelled to neighbouring countries more often than any predecessor. Burma was the first country visited, just one month after taking office. In September 2001, Khin Nyunt, one of Burma's ruling military triumvirate, made the first return visit by a Burmese leader to Thailand in eleven years.
In May 2002, Shin Satellite signed a contract with Bagan Cybertech to extend and upgrade the usage of Shin satellites for broadcasting inside Burma, and to install IPStar terminals for use in upcountry phone and education networks.
The managing director of Bagan Cybertech was Dr. Ye Naing We, the younger son of Khin Nyunt, who also attended the contract signing as the overseer of communications policy.
Under another agreement, the staff of Bagan Cybertech and the Burmese post and telecommunication agency were sent for training in Shin's facilities in Thailand. IPStar's ground stations were tested in Burma. Khin Nyunt visited Thailand again in May 2004.
The Thai press constantly speculated about the mixing of business and diplomacy in Thaksin's overseas travels. Shin executives, along with other businessmen, joined some of the trips."
The next time you hear Thaksin or one of his lawyers bleating about the 'breakdown of democracy' in Thailand after the September 2006 coup which ousted him, you might want to take a look at this article to understand just how little Thaksin knows about the subject.
The normal people of Burma might suffer terribly and have no proper healthcare but whenever one of the military generals is sick, Singapore is only too willing to provide the best medical care that can be provided in one of its private hospitals.
Singapore, as it happens, is Burma's largest investor, with investments totalling $1.54 billion. (Source: The Irrawaddy.) And since Indonesia banned the export of sand to Singapore, Burma has started to supply this much needed aggregate essential for Singapore's ongoing construction boom and land reclamation projects.
There may be protests going on around the world outside Burmese Embassies at the moment but one place where you won't see any protests is Singapore. Any form of dissent or protest involving more than four people in a gathering without authorisation (and authorisation is never given) will be harshly dealt with by the PAP-controlled police.
Many aspects of Singapore I like but some I distinctly dislike, and the complete absence of any freedom of speech is one of them.
Western countries have imposed sanctions against Burma but they aren't very effective. Perhaps it is time for Western countries to begin imposing sanctions against those countries that support Burma? It is unlikely that any will have the balls to do such a thing though.
One report I read last week suggested that next year's Olympic games in China (Burma's closest ally) would be a good starting point. Mixing politics and sport isn't usually a good idea but a boycott of the games would send out a very clear signal to China and the rest of the world.
Meanwhile, while we continue to stand by doing nothing, the oppression and murder of innocent people will only continue.