Thailand - Your Stories: Anonymous 1, Australia
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Controlling Thai Girls
I read your pages with interest. I think on the whole you are right. I did the same as you did but came to work in Thailand. My first exposure to Thailand girls was to those you find in Sukhumvit.
I had several and the first meeting was great, but after I fitted out two apartments. I found that they became very hard to live with and very demanding. The problem is that we farangs don't know what in Thailand terms a lot of money is. While 100 baht is nothing to us it is a lot to a thai person. The men agree to salaries, as they call them, of 30,000 baht a month when 10,000 would do making a rod for their backs.
I had no compunction throwing my girls out and writing off 30,000 baht. The first one took 3 tries but after that it was out at the first sign of trouble. I now live in Thailand and have a company here that is quite large. I have a relationship and I have set her up with her own business. She is not beautiful and not from a wealthy family but after 2 years with her I know she loves me, but I will never marry.
Go to the extra trouble of protecting you assets. Get a company you can own 49%. Put the house in the company and loan the money to the company don't capitalise it. Change the articles so that it requires 100% approval to sell the assets. Have the directors you, her and someone you can trust it will cost around 70,000 baht including the purchase of the house and company, not much when the house may be several million baht. I am not saying that things are always roses and the family does intrude but I send her off to sleep in the business premises when things get crappy. The Thai man is the undisputed head of the house and what he says goes. Why do the farangs let themselves be overrun by the women?
Another Reader's Response
I read the advice from the reader who thinks he understands Thai girls. I can only assume that he has been in Thailand for a short time and his experience with Thai girls is very limited.
One thing you know when you have been here a while is that the girl is always the one who is in control, even when she makes you think otherwise. Thai girls are probably the most knowledgeable in the world in getting a man and keeping him satisfied and wanting more.
She knows exactly what to do and say. She will pick up on the slightest clues and explore until she knows exactly what you need. She will constantly tell you what you want to hear and make you feel more loved than ever and wanting more. Most western women are fairly transparent but nothing is what it seems with Thai girls.
From my experience money is the most important thing when it comes to relationships with farangs. The older and poorer the girl is the more important money will be. If she is over 35 and has little money you can bet that she is desperate and if she has managed to hook a farang with money, she will do whatever is necessary to keep him.
From my nearly ten years working here I can give countless examples of farangs that thought they were in control and found out otherwise.
My half brother was with a Thai girl for 5 years, after many relationships with younger girls over 9 years, he thought she was the one. She was older and did not ask for anything he did not offer. She was 34 when they met and he was 58. She was also a "respectable" girl working in a private hospital in Bangkok. The first 3 years she asked for nothing. Of course progressively he gave plenty, apartment, overseas holidays, car, expense account.
When he went back home he could not wait to fly back to her. Like you he was in no doubt that she loved him. She did not push him to marry her but said that she would feel better if their union was blessed by a monk. They got married in a Buddhist ceremony and he bought a house in her name. They went to LA to meet his mother's family and to Australia to meet our aging father. Everyone loved her, she was fun loving, serene, always with a huge smile and nothing ever bothered her.
After 9 months she told my brother they should buy a house closer to the hospital. My brother has a heart condition and he had increasing issues. They bought a new house again in her name and she talked my brother into renting the other house instead of selling it. His health got worse and he decided to return to Australia. After 5 months in Melbourne she went back to Thailand to sell the houses and refused to return. Obviously, my brother got nothing back from her but his health is now much better, despite still mending a broken heart.
Many of the men I have worked with over the years have been fleeced by Thai girls when they have fallen in love. I have only seen one relationship that has worked out and that was with a Thai girl that had been educated overseas. The point I am making is this, from my experience money is very important, make no mistake that is the reason that a Thai girl is with a farang 99.9999% of cases. She will make you feel so good that you will not want to leave her. When she knows she is in control everything will change. Make no mistake she will know when that time has come, even if you don't.
My observation is that men who accept that money is why the girl is with them are the ones that do not have problems. My advice is this. Give her what is acceptable to you but make sure it is not too much, if she wants more find someone else who will give you what you need. If you start to have feelings for a girl it is time to replace her. Don't let her become so important to you that you let your relationships with friends and family back home suffer. This will give her extra control. I know it's hard when she makes you feel like a king not to take her with you and show her off to all your friends (especially if she is young and gorgeous) but don't do it.
To the reader who thinks he has figured it all out I just want to say...setting her up with her own business! I bet that cost you a lot more than the usual 1million! To me it sounds like she has your number and you don't even know it. Did she make you think it was all your idea? To use your words, you're just making a rod for your own back.
I cannot help wondering what your age difference is and where you met. What do you mean with "I am not saying that things are always roses and the family does intrude"? After only two years and such generosity things should be unforgetably wonderful for many more years. Be careful it sounds all too familiar.