Living In Thailand Blog
Saturday 17th October 2009
I've never been warned by a doctor about my diet so I was a bit taken aback last week to be told that my latest skin problem was probably caused by eating too much protein. He's probably right though.
According to some on-line information I found, I should be eating about 62 grams of protein a day (the article says multiply your weight in pounds by 0.37).
I usually eat two rice-based meals a day and I always ask them to plonk a fried egg on the top (star eggs as they are called in Thailand, kai daaw). Eggs contain 6 grams of protein each. The meat (chicken or seafood) in the meals probably makes up the rest of my daily allowance without allowing for anything else.
What is worrying is that I am partial to many foods in the list of high protein foods.
Sometimes I get cravings for a burger or a steak - both of which can blow your protein allowance very quickly. I also like yum, the spicy Thai salad, and I particularly like it with tuna - another high protein food.
Another one of my favourites is chicken with cashew nuts; yet again packed with protein. Yesterday lunchtime I couldn't see anything suitable so thought I would be sensible by having vegetables and tofu, but tofu (dtao-hoo in Thai) is another high protein offender.
Today is the start of the Chinese vegetarian festival. I thought that would be good for my diet for a couple of weeks but looking at the list, a lot of vegetarian foods are packed with protein.
This could be tricky.
Thais are followers, not leaders; imitators, not innovators.
As followers, they love to follow a craze, and I have observed various crazes since I arrived here. The Jatukham Ramathep amulet craze was possibly the biggest craze to sweep through the country.
Every new shop that opened was an amulet shop, and all existing shops started selling amulets alongside their regular products. One woman was trampled to death in a stampede to get newly issued amulets, while everyone was talking about the miraculous powers of these amulets.
During the height of the craze it was impossible to get a hotel room in the normally sleepy town of Nakhon Sri Thammarat because that's where the craze started and Thais from all over the country started to go there as a kind of pilgrimage.
Eventually the craze fizzled out and most of the amulet shops have reverted to normal businesses.
The next craze to come along was coloured shirts for each day of the week. This didn't last long either and all that remains of the coloured shirt craze now is it being a symbol of political affiliation.
A few years ago lots of Thai girls started wearing strands of coloured Christmas tinsel in their hair but that didn't last long either.
That craze gave way to hair extensions, and the hair extension craze hasn't ended yet. It's real hair that comes from east Asia in different lengths and colours. It appears that the biggest income generator for hair salons in Thailand at the moment is hair extensions.
Small shops have even opened up that just do hair (and eyelash) extensions, and nothing else. When this craze ends those shops will close and reopen to cater for the next craze.
The latest craze I have noticed is the 'Big Eye' craze, sometimes called the 'Korean Big Eye' or 'Barbie' look. Thais use the English words 'Big Eye' but, if written, they write it using Thai characters.
Thais have many obsessions and they have a particular obsession with Japan and Korea. They also have an obsession with Japanese comic books, and the 'Big Eye' look seems to be an attempt to make people look like Japanese Anime cartoon characters.
The photos of the young girls they use to promote the 'Big Eye' look resemble startled rabbits. Their eyes are made to look as big as possible while all other facial features are reduced as much as possible.
After millions of years of evolution we now want to make ourselves look like Japanese cartoon characters apparently. I'm sure this is why the Beckhams are so popular in Japan.
I find this worrying but it gets worse.
The 'Big Eye' look is obtained by wearing cosmetic contact lenses. I saw a place offering them for Bt690 a pair. Eye doctors must be having nightmares.
One of my corneas has an untreatable scar that makes my vision blurry in that eye. It was caused by contracting a fungal infection through a soft contact lens. I now have to wear a single hard contact lens to get the eye back into shape so that the vision isn't blurry.
Contact lens use should not be taken lightly and when you are first issued with contact lenses the doctor will spend a lot of time explaining how to clean and store them.
It worries me that they are being sold now by untrained people in shops and supermarkets just as a fashion accessory. My prediction for this one is that in about a year's time there will be a lot of Thai females with serious eye infections as a result of following the 'Big Eye' craze.
I like taking photos to document my time in Southeast Asia but sometimes it causes problems in Thailand. During royal visits I have been told twice by Thai policemen - politely but firmly - to put my camera away.
I was also told not to take photos on another occasion. A few years ago the room of the single girl living next door to me was broken into. The intruder beat her, robbed her, and attempted to rape her. It was bad and he made a real mess of her.
The police caught the guy with the help of a nearby shop's CCTV system. When this happens in Thailand they make the criminal reenact his crime.
About a week after the incident the apartment building suddenly became full of people. They were here for the reenactment. It must have been terrible for the girl to go through everything again and I found the whole thing unsettling. Another thing I found out was that cameras aren't welcome.
But there are other times when you can get in trouble even when taking photos of the most innocuous things. For my reading tutorials I went around one day last year getting photos of signs to use as examples.
Near the local bus station I was taking a photo of a sign that just said where the bus or van was going to, when suddenly a woman came flying out of a shop screaming at me. It was as if she was possessed.
Yesterday I walked past a hair extension shop and wanted to get a picture of all the hair extensions hanging up. Out of courtesy I asked first. The young girl asked the woman who ran the shop and she said no.
I asked why but you very rarely get answers to 'why' questions in Thailand. They can't explain because there is no reason so they don't say anything. I'm afraid I flipped and said something on the way out that I shouldn't have done.
If you want to take a photo of something innocuous in Thailand that couldn't possible harm anyone, just take it. If you ask first and get told no - without a reason - it then becomes difficult to get your picture.
Remember that a lot of what goes on in Thailand is illegal. The people concerned are used to everyone turning a blind eye, so prying eyes and camera aren't welcome. I was warned by my guide on the Burmese border last week that we could encounter problems because all the clothes factories operating in the area are illegal, along with all the cross border trade that goes on there.
There are markets near me where everything sold is illegal. No tax is paid on the goods that come in from China and Malaysia and a lot of the goods are copies and fakes. There are also a number of illegal betting shops.
If someone gets upset because you have a camera it might be because what they are doing isn't exactly above board and they are worried because they think you are on to them.
It is also unlikely that the many go-go bars operating in Thailand will welcome customers taking photos of the girls inside.
Last week in Chiang Mai I was walking around with a camera taking shots of the city. After taking a photo I heard someone using a whistle and shouting at me. Thai security guards love using their whistles so I didn't think much of it at first but he seemed to be getting a bit upset.
I then realised that I was outside the US Consulate. On one visit to Singapore I upset the security guard at the Thai Embassy on Orchard Road when I took a photo outside.
Some plane-spotters got into trouble in Greece a few years ago for taking photos at an airport. They were accused of being spies. There are certain places such as airports, military bases, and other government buildings where you might get into trouble with a camera.
Try to use some common sense and if you upset someone just put your camera away.
Thais are really weird about photos. Sometimes they will object vociferously if you attempt to take a photo but at other times they will ask you to take their photo without wanting to see it or asking for a print.
Another possible reason why Thais start screaming hysterically when you take an innocuous picture of a sign outside their shop, or of a few harmless hair extensions, is because they are mad.
A World Health Organisation (WHO) statistic from John Laird's book 'Money Politics, Globalisation, and Crisis - The Case of Thailand' says that 15% of Thais (9 million people) suffer from some degree of mental illness.
That means one out of every 6-7 people you meet in Thailand is a sandwich short of a picnic. The figure could be higher now. After living in Thailand for a while this statistic doesn't surprise me too much.
I met a young girl from Chiang Rai recently who seemed OK. She asked for my phone number and foolishly I gave it to her. The following morning at 2:30am she woke me from a deep sleep demanding to know who I was sleeping with. When I told her I was alone she called me a liar.
She called again a little later and after the second call I put my phone on silent. Since then it has been happening every night. She calls persistently between about 2:30am and 4:30am.
I have to put my phone on silent every night now and I just hope that a genuine emergency doesn't crop up because I won't hear anyone calling me.
Only 15%?
Friday 16th October 2009
I was reading an article last week about 'phishing' attacks. These attacks are on the rise and the criminals that plan them are getting increasingly sophisticated.
I receive deceitful e-mails along with everyone else but they are normally obvious. When I am asked to confirm details for a bank account that I don't have then I know someone is trying to trick me into giving away my personal details.
However, I received an e-mail yesterday that wasn't at all obvious. It was very cleverly done and it didn't target anything obvious like a bank account.
It made me stop and think but there were certain clues that gave it away. I'm not going to say what these were or which site was concerned because that information would only assist the evil minds who perpetrate these crimes.
For almost 20 years I worked for a huge IT company and I use a computer every day. I'm fairly computer savvy but I still had to think. Many computer users these days are a lot less savvy and they can be easily fooled by these e-mails.
In my recent posts a theme has started to emerge that I didn't intend: that of lies and deceit. Phishing attacks require lots of skill and technical knowledge in order to successfully deceive people.
I find it so sad that even intelligent people are using their skills to engage in crime rather than doing honest work. This has always been the case throughout history. It's nothing new but with so many of us using the Internet, these crimes affect lots of people nowadays.
Not so long ago it would have been a fairly unusual event to be targeted as a crime victim. Nowadays, it can happen whenever we check our e-mail.
What is our society coming to?
I've written lots recently and posted quite a few photos. It's been great fun. I enjoy travelling around, observing, getting information, taking photos, and writing about my experiences.
It takes up quite a lot of time though. I have some free time at the moment but not for much longer. I'll be going back to work at the end of the month and before that I need to do some preparation.
Before I start doing that, there are another couple of projects I want to do. Also, I want to try to study Thai every day - even if only for 10 minutes a day.
What I'm really trying to say is that the recent flurry of activity is unlikely to continue for much longer.
Thursday 15th October 2009
I need to put some recent comments into perspective and balance things out a little. I pick on Thailand because that is where I live and that is what I see all the time but really it is no worse than anywhere else.
In fact, it's a lot better than most other places.
I complain about being ripped off a few Baht by taxi drivers but whenever my parents order a taxi to take them to Heathrow airport in the UK it costs as much as it does to rent my room for one month here. That's the UK for you.
A correspondent in Australia has just written, reminding me that lies and deceit are common there. I've just been reading about the Bear Stearns collapse last year and how two hedge fund managers lied to clients "over and over again" to protect their multimillion dollar pay cheques.
Before them came Bernard Madoff, another liar who cheated many people out of millions of dollars. This behaviour is not symptomatic of Thailand but, unfortunately, of the whole world.
Chiang Mai wasn't all bad. I avoid farang tourist areas in Thailand as much as I can but there are some good things about them.
Food in Thailand away from the tourist areas tends to get a little boring after several years of living in Thailand. However, the tourist areas have some great restaurants. I've eaten wonderful Italian food in places like Phuket and I had a fantastic Indian meal in Chiang Mai last week at a place in the night bazaar.
With so much tourist infrastructure in Chiang Mai there is a lot more supply than demand for most things at most times of the year unless it is at the peak of the tourist season. I could have got a room anywhere last week and prices were cheap.
There were rooms for rent absolutely everywhere catering to all budgets. Lots of backpacker places were advertising for Bt100 a night and the hotel I stayed at - overlooking the night bazaar in the heart of the tourist area - was very comfortable for only Bt600 a night.
Massage was also cheap. After a long walk one day I got a foot massage for just Bt99, which is unheard of where I live. The girl giving the massage was as miserable as sin and didn't smile or talk throughout the whole process, but she gave a pretty good massage.
The next foot massage I had was more conventionally priced but the girl giving it was an angel. I could have married her there and then.
I was also pleased to see real tuk-tuks in Chiang Mai, the same kind you get in Bangkok. The tuk-tuk identification has become synonymous with small Noddy-car-type, passenger vehicles found in developing countries but not all of them are authentic tuk-tuks.
In other areas of Thailand there are four-wheel vehicles fueled with petrol, using steering wheels to control direction that are referred to as tuk-tuks.
These aren't true tuk-tuks. The real ones have three wheels, motorbike handlebars, and run on LPG. They cough and splutter when idling, and when accelerating have the manic sound of a swarm of hornets on speed.
They may give the impression of being dirty and polluting but LPG-fueled vehicles emit far fewer pollutants than gasoline-fueled vehicles. They are also cheaper to run.
Thais are proud of their tuk-tuks and get upset when other countries produce similar vehicles and refer to them as tuk-tuks. After all, you would never find Thais copying music, movies, software, watches, clothes, designer sunglasses, Louis Vuitton luggage, etc., from other countries and selling them cheaply.
I was interviewed in Thai yesterday for the position of potential boyfriend. The girl in question is young, beautiful with naturally wavy hair, and full of life and vitality.
As a tourist I thought that all Thai girls were beautiful but having lived in Thailand for a few years I find a certain consistency about many that makes them look fairly ordinary. They're certainly not ugly but most are nothing special.
However, some girls really are exceptional and they will stop you dead in your tracks. When I first saw this girl, that was the feeling I got and I felt compelled to talk with her.
I met her a month or so ago and at first she was friendly but wary. Then I met her again accidentally. We talked more and exchanged numbers. I sent her a message the following day asking the standard, "Have you eaten yet?" in Thai but she didn't answer.
The next day she called and sounded all excited that I had sent a message. Since then she has called quite a few times. After she called yesterday we agreed to meet for lunch. She told me she had brought a friend and asked if that was OK. I said it was.
The friend turned out to be her cousin (28 years-old, married and divorced with three kids). Throughout lunch the girl hardly said a word while her cousin grilled me. As is usually the case there were quite a few questions related to financial security and whether I had plans to return to England or not.
I was also invited to ask questions and my only concern these days is whether I am wasting my time or not. It was a good meeting and there was lots of straight-talking. Maybe at times it was too straight but I think I got my message across.
My message was that if the girl wants to play games, don't bother, let's just end it now and stop the pretence. Don't waste my time. I have been messed around so much this year that I currently have zero-tolerance towards Thai girls who want to play stupid games.
At one point I was asked why I don't have a wife already. I replied that the majority of Thai girls simply want to play games and that I can't trust them. That probably wasn't the right thing to say but I wanted them to know that I wasn't someone to be messed around with.
This year has been amazing financially (I'm almost back to where I was pre-financial crash) but a nightmare with the lovely ladies of Thailand. I think the reason is because this is the first year I have actually started taking them seriously.
If you aren't serious with the girls they can be great fun but once you cross the line and begin looking for a serious relationship it starts to get very different.
In the first year I wore my 'stupid farang' hat and I was lucky to escape relatively unscathed. I could quite easily have lost a lot of money and become a father in the first six months I was in Thailand but that's another story.
The second year was spent trying to get out of a relationship I should never have got into in the first place. During my third and fourth years I was still recovering from the previous two years and had absolutely no interest in serious relationships with Thai girls.
Just as that was getting better the financial crisis hit and I began to get seriously worried about my finances. If you have money problems, forget any ideas about Thai girls because you don't stand a chance unless money is seen to flow easily.
This year has been good and I will turn 50 at the end of next year. For me, life will begin at 50 and I expect 50 to 60 to be the best years of my life. I've led a bachelor's life in Thailand for a long time and whereas this might seem very desirable to some, it's not very satisfying emotionally. I decided this year was the year I should probably settle down.
When you analyse the facts, there should be nothing easier than for an honest, financially secure farang man to meet a Thai girl. The country is full of poor girls who have no escape from the life of drudgery they will inevitably lead, and a lot of Thai men are rascals.
Meeting serious-minded Thai girls is anything but easy though and a lot of them will happily lead you on a merry dance while wasting your time.
I met this girl while she was working temporarily selling clothes, and she is just about to start a permanent job selling clothes. She - like many other Thais - did a Bachelor's degree but her only 'career' options are in the retail industry, or doing other non-skilled work, where she will only ever earn low wages.
One of the problems with Thai girls is that they always act as if they are interested. They will tell you they are interested and actively encourage you even if they aren't a bit interested.
Perhaps it gives their egos a boost to have a man chasing them; perhaps they want to inject some excitement into otherwise dull and boring lives; perhaps they want a contingency plan in case their current relationship doesn't work out; perhaps they are just trying not to hurt you; or perhaps they figure that if a foreign man is interested it could mean some money?
Depending on the girl in question it can be any, or a combination, of these things. Or maybe other reasons. What I have found is that feigned interest is very common but genuine interest is rare.
I've received two fairly serious offers of marriage from Thai girls and they weren't for the best of reasons.
One was from a poor Isaan massage girl trying to bring up a daughter on her own who had no money. The other was from a southern girl whose father was getting worried she hadn't married yet and was planning to find her a husband. She figured she could avoid this fate if she married me.
Last year I met one of the most beautiful girls I have ever set eyes on. I walked into a place to ask about jobs and she was working there. I almost fell over when I saw her. The organisation she was working for gave me some temporary work for a few months.
It turned out that she lived near to me and after work she would ask if I'd mind taking her home. No, not at all. We'd often eat together on the way back and my feelings grew for her. She said some very good things about me but she was a well brought up girl and she was just being polite. I knew that she must have a boyfriend but I was afraid to ask.
When I got a little serious she backed off. This was confirmation that she was already spoken for and I gave up the idea. I subsequently heard from a mutual friend she was engaged. Earlier this week she called me and invited me to her wedding next month.
At my current place of work I met and got friendly with another beautiful girl. This time I decided to tackle the boyfriend issue first. She had a boyfriend (of course) but had known him a long time and didn't seem very sure about the relationship.
I started to back off because she was already in a relationship but she told me to keep trying, with the encouraging words that I had a 50/50 chance. Whenever I told her how I felt she told me that my words made her feel good, and she told me several times that I was the man of her dreams.
After several long phone calls she as much told me that I was going to be the new man in her life. I was thrilled but the next day it appeared that she'd had a complete change of heart. More heartache. Obviously, simply being the man of a Thai girl's dreams isn't enough. After rejecting me she started calling every day to cheer me up but it only made me feel worse.
Another big problem with Thai girls is that you can't afford to find a girl who will 'suffice' until the certain someone special you are really looking for comes along. Well, you can but expect some major fireworks.
If you try to end the relationship don't just expect her to leave quietly. I know this from personal experience.
Once a Thai girl has got her feet under the table she will not leave easily. Expect major tantrums, suicide threats, possible suicide attempts, violence, crazy behaviour, and lots more.
When I first started to try to separate from my first girlfriend she made herself so ill that she was admitted to hospital twice. There were times when she would sob uncontrollable, scream in temper tantrums, and if I decided I wanted to go out to get away from her crazy antics she would barricade the door.
There were times when she got so emotionally out of control that she would threaten to walk out in the middle of the night in her night clothes with no money and nowhere to go. I had to intervene to prevent her from harming herself.
This is something I never want to go through again so basically I avoid getting involved with any girl in Thailand that I'm not prepared to marry. Sometimes I am tempted but it just isn't worth the trouble. The dating game in Thailand can be a nightmare.
I'm getting old and I can hear the clock ticking. This year I have been told by several Thai girls that they want to be friends for a couple of years and will then decide if they want to take the relationship further but I just don't have time.
What do I do after two years if she decides she doesn't want to take it any further? Find another girl, wait another two years, get told no again, and go back to square one?
My policy now is only to bother with girls I am serious about, and to try to establish fairly early on if they are serious or simply playing games.
Being too serious isn't a very attractive trait and may put some off but I figure it's better than allowing Thai girls to play with me and waste more of my life.
Gentlemen, be very, very careful with Thai girls. As a tourist, Thailand might seem like a bachelor's paradise and Thailand might appear to be the easiest place in the world to find a perfect wife but the reality couldn't be more different.
Remember that what a Thai girl does with you or what she tells you means nothing. One of the girls I mentioned above called me the man of her dreams but it meant nothing. If I had a Baht for every time a Thai girl had insincerely said she missed me (kit-teung) I'd be a very rich man.
I've had some great encounters with Thai girls and they make you feel as if you are the best thing since Mama instant noodles but when I've tried calling them later they refused to answer their phones. It's at times like this when you realise your true value to them.
With girls whose primary aim in life it is to make money (and there are a lot of them in Thailand) you can be as physically intimate with them as you can imagine but for them, whatever they do is no more than a financial transaction. It means nothing else.
The good girls are out there (somewhere) but it's a minefield and finding the right girl in Thailand is no easier than finding the right girl anywhere else. Finding the wrong girl, however, is incredibly easier. They are sitting waiting for you in beer bars all around the country.
A lot of my problems are self-inflicted because even after this time I refuse to lower my standards. I always go for the exceptionally good-looking girls but with these girls you can be guaranteed one of three things.
1) Either the girl has a serious Thai boyfriend already who isn't going to give her up without a fight, 2) She is trouble, 3) Both.
While all this crap has been taking place, another relationship has been developing quietly in the background. She's yet another girl from work and although she is pretty, she isn't drop-dead gorgeous.
She's an honest girl but with quite a serious low self-esteem problem because she has dark skin. This isn't unusual in a country where people have a seriously unhealthy obsession with white skin.
The good girls are out there but as a farang male in Thailand you are a magnet for the bad girls, while the good girls keep their distance because hanging around with farangs isn't something good Thai girls do and Thais like to gossip.
As a tourist, the good girls are very difficult to meet. If you work in Thailand it gives you an opportunity to show what kind of person you are and doors start to open. People are watching you all the time even though you don't realise you are being watched.
The other thing with the nice girls is that most are very weak English speakers. Bar girls, on the other hand, and other Thai girls who make a living preying on gullible foreigners tend to speak very good English otherwise they can't communicate with their prey. This is always something that makes me suspicious.
Speaking good English doesn't necessarily mean that a Thai girl is up to no good but the way she speaks English, and the vocabulary she uses, can tell you a lot.
These observations are based not only on personal experience but also from the accounts of foreign men who have written to me. The Thai female can be full of trickery and chicanery while at the same time pretending to be so innocent that butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.
Be very careful and no matter how clever you think you are, don't arrive in Thailand thinking you will be able to get the better of Thai girls on their own territory. Whatever you do, don't fall in love with the first bar girl who offers you a game of Connect Four.
Spend a long time getting to know your enemy before engaging in battle. Encounters with Thai women should not be taken lightly.
I've been a big Steely Dan fan for over 30 years.
As far as I'm concerned, Becker and Fagen rate as highly as McCartney, Lennon and Harrison
(Sorry Ringo, even though your drumming on certain Beatles' tracks is outstanding and you are one of the most underestimated drummers of all time.)
One disappointment of living here is not being able to attend Steely Dan concerts any longer.
Thailand drives me crazy in so many respects yet in those rare moments of peace I often feel that I have found my 'Home At Last'.
And from another Steely Dan track, "Any world that I'm welcome to, is better than the one I come from."
It was really weird in Chiang Mai last week spotting this sign and once again feeling the Steely Dan connection.
Lyrics to 'Home At Last' from the best Steely Dan album ever (IMHO), 'Aja' (1977)
I know this SUPER HIGHWAY
This bright familiar sun
I guess that I'm the lucky one
Who wrote that tired sea song
Set on this peaceful shore
You think you've heard this one before
Wednesday 14th October 2009
I renewed my private health insurance again last month at a cost of around Bt16,000.
The year before taking out insurance I contracted a nasty fungal infection in my eye through a contact lens. In the following months I spent lots of time with the eye doctor and the treatment involved some expensive medicine.
I'm not sure how much it all cost in total but it was a lot. Since being covered by insurance I have had very few problems. My medical bills each year are usually a lot less than the cost of the insurance.
With the eye problem, my eye was fine when I woke up but not fine a few hours later. Situations can change very quickly. The constant heat and humidity in the tropics provides a perfect breeding ground for fungus, bacteria and viruses so I feel more vulnerable here. And then there are Thai drivers ...
Looking at the figures, the insurance doesn't seem worth it but a price cannot be put on the peace of mind it gives me.
For some reason I've had lots of skin problems this year. The first problem earlier in the year was when an unidentified insect carrying a fungal infection bit my arm. It passed the infection to me and this resulted in something that looked like a bruise. I kept expecting it to disappear but it started to get bigger, which is when I went to see the skin doctor.
The next problem was a bacterial infection at the height of the hot season caused by over-sweating. This led to folliculitis and lots of spots like a bad acne outbreak.
A few weeks ago my forearms started to get very itchy at certain times. Nighttime was particularly bad and I wasn't able to sleep some nights. There was an uncontrollable urge to itch but scratching just made it itch more.
This was another problem I lived with for a while expecting it to disappear on its own but yesterday I ended up going back to the same skin doctor.
He uses a special close-up camera connected to a computer and large display. Using this equipment it was possible to see the rash that covered my arms. His diagnosis this time was an allergic infection caused by a high protein diet.
He told me to keep off alcohol (which I don't drink anyway) and seafood, and prescribed more tablets and cream. After one day the itch has already got a lot better. He seems to be very good and the last couple of problems were resolved very quickly.
The guy must be earning a fortune because the clinic is constantly full of people even though he spends very little time with each patient. Each diagnosis is very quick and the turnaround of patients is high. Just as soon as people leave, more come in and there is hardly ever a spare seat in the waiting room.
It's not cheap either. Every time I go it costs between Bt1,000 and Bt2,000 (I can claim up to Bt1,000 per day for outpatient visits through my insurance) and I have seen Thais paying out a lot more.
The photographs he displays in his clinic make it look like a chamber of horrors. When you see the skin conditions that afflict some people it makes you feel a little guilty complain about a little rash or a few spots.
I get the impression that a lot of patients go for cosmetic reasons. Thais are extremely self-conscious about their appearance because Thai society places so much emphasis on beauty. Acne is just as much a problem in Thailand as it is elsewhere but things like freckles are also regarded as undesirable.
A girl I used to work with went for laser surgery to have her freckles removed. I think Thai girls with a few freckles look amazingly cute but that isn't how they see it.
The skin doctor's advice not to eat seafood wasn't good news because now I have very limited options.
I used to eat pork but I stopped eating it shortly after coming to Thailand. This was a result of visiting traditional Thai markets and seeing how pork is sold. It's not like in the West where you only see prepared cuts of meat on refrigerated shelves.
In Thailand the whole pig is there - head, intestines, the lot - often without any refrigeration in very hot temperatures, and normally covered in flies. Sometimes the vendor waves a stick around to keep the flies off but sometimes not.
Chickens are sold the same way but I still eat chicken. What's the difference? The big difference is the smell. Whenever I smell pork meals now the smell just reminds me of being in a Thai traditional market, and images of fly-covered meat dance in my head.
Very little beef is eaten in southern Thailand and this seems to be for cultural and religious reasons among Buddhist Thais. It is often found in Muslim restaurants, where pork isn't eaten of course.
With Buddhism originating in India, and Hindus not eating beef, I guess this is where this part of the belief system comes from. The other thing I was told by a Thai is that because buffaloes were once a key part of the rice production process - the staple of Asia - buffaloes and cows have a kind of sacred reverence about them.
Anyway, in 99% of the places I eat at the only meat available is pork, chicken, shrimp and squid, so now I am just left with chicken as an option. The other option is vegetarian, which I don't mind occasional, but it gets boring every day.
Tuesday 13th October 2009
I've been investigating buying a car recently. I don't want to own a car in Thailand because it will only be a matter of time before a motorbike or pickup truck rams into it, but it won't really be possible to do the things I want to do in Thailand in future without a car.
I want my life to be as hassle-free as possible and despite the advantages of having a car, a car is always a major source of hassle. But still ...
It's not easy knowing what to buy. If I were still living in the UK the decision would be a no-brainer. The best cars I have ever owned have been used Porsches and that would be my choice again.
You start off with a well-built car that is so great to drive that it makes every journey a pleasure. A few get abused but most owners wrap their cars up in cotton wool and spend lots of money on maintenance because Porsche ownership is a special privilege.
In the UK you can pick up great used examples for not a lot of money. That also applies to other quality manufacturers, such as Mercedes. I keep an eye on one UK dealer's stock and in the last year they have had a Mercedes SL and also an SLK for the Thai equivalent of a little over Bt300,000. Both cars were well looked after examples.
There is a steep luxury tax on European cars in Thailand; and you also need to realise that Mercedes cars are worshipped like gods in Thailand. Therefore, you would never find used Mercedes sports cars for that kind of money in Thailand. They are a great deal more.
There aren't any bargain used cars that are interesting. The choice comes down to a variety of fairly bland Japanese cars that were most likely assembled in Thailand.
Used cars in Thailand are generally a lot more expensive compared to the UK. Bt100,000 buys a piece of junk, and you really need to pay in excess of Bt400,000 before you start to get anything decent. I stopped at a place today that had nine year-old SUVs and three year-old saloons for about Bt450,000.
When you compare the price of good, low-mileage used cars and new cars there isn't that much difference. With used cars you can never be quite sure about the history so if you are going to spend a lot on a used car, you might just as well pay a little more and get a new car so that you have peace of mind.
European luxury cars might be very expensive in Thailand but at the other end of the scale come pickup trucks. If buying a new vehicle in Thailand, then a pickup truck is the cheapest option.
Sitting inside some pickup trucks feels like sitting in an SUV and, along with the cheap prices, this makes them quite attractive for some people. Rural Thais love them.
The only problem is the wasted space at the back. It's useful for rice farmers and people with rubber plantations taking their rubber sheets to market, but to the average person it is useless most of the time and driving a pickup truck will make you look like a redneck or Bob the Builder.
I still don't know but I'm in no hurry at all so buying a car in Thailand is something that I won't be rushing into. It's quite good fun looking around though.
In the mid to late 90's - before the 'social networking' phenomenon set in - I used to spend a lot of time on a travel web site, which was actually a social networking site with a travel theme.
It became obsessive for me and that was also the case for many other members, some of whom I believe are still there. As I have said before, my life wasn't happy in the UK and I used travel as a form of escape. My time spent on this site was all about trying to escape.
I spent ages uploading photos and writing accounts of travel. I had 'friends' all over the world, who I had never met, and it was a great source of pride among members to see who could get the highest page views and highest rated pages.
This used up inordinate amounts of time and while on-line in the virtual world my real life started to slip away.
Within two months of moving to Thailand I stopped using the site and I have never been back since. They still send a greeting on my birthday and try to encourage me to return but those days are gone.
For the people who run these sites it is a good business model. They provide a framework that allows users to create all their content and the site owner collects all the advertising revenue.
All the content is created for nothing apart from the 'satisfaction' users get by seeing a page they have created rated highly. This kind of satisfaction feeds the ego but it isn't good for anything else.
I saw the error of my ways and got out. That experience affected me deeply and with the later advent of social networking sites I never got involved. Over the years, lots of people have asked me to join Facebook, or other similar sites, extolling the virtues of belonging to such sites but I just see them as an addictive waste of time.
I'm writing this after just reading the following article. If you are a Facebook addict - or addicted to any other web site - it's worth a read:
Cold turkey for a Facebook addict
This kind of addiction is no different to any other addiction and when it reaches a point where it starts to affect your real life, then there is a problem.
I'm not sure what Sacha Baron Cohen will do next but by all accounts he is a very wealthy man now and doesn't need to do anything else. His kind of humour only has a limited shelf life.
I just watched Bruno, his latest movie. At times I cringed but I also laughed uncontrollably - mainly at Americans who didn't have the intelligence to realise they were being set up. He's a clever guy and is very good at tapping into people's ignorance and prejudices - especially Americans.
When he told a vacuous model that modelling was the hardest job in the world she really seemed to believe him. Best line in the film, "I've never killed an animal but I once suffocated a hamster in Mykonos."
Monday 12th October 2009
While waiting for my flight at Chiang Mai airport there was a farang woman speaking excellent Thai on her telephone. Despite there being hundreds of thousands of farangs in Thailand at any one time, this is something I very rarely hear.
She was obviously heavily involved in business. I didn't speak to her but I would guess she has been in Thailand a long time, that she uses Thai all the time, and that in the past she put a tremendous amount of effort into learning Thai.
Unless you are a very young child, learning a second language does not come easily or naturally but requires a great deal of effort.
I subscribe to the Language Acquisition Device theory, and with Steven Pinker's view that "acquisition of a normal language is guaranteed for children up to the age of six, is steadily compromised from then until shortly after puberty, and is rare thereafter." (Critical Period Hypothesis)
This is why very young foreign children living in Thailand can pick up the language in no time but why it isn't unusual to find farangs who have been living in Thailand for 20 years who hardly speak a word.
Just being in Thailand doesn't mean you will automatically pick up the language; it takes a lot of additional effort. If you are keen to learn, though, it obviously helps if you are in an environment where you see and hear Thai all around you (provided, of course, that you don't live in an expat bubble somewhere within Thailand).
Lots of English language schools in Thailand claim they have some 'secret' method to improve learning skills. This is nonsense. Thai students are always looking for easy ways to improve their English but there aren't any. It just takes hard work.
Sometimes they ask me what they can do to improve their language skills. The only way they can do this is to immerse themselves in English as much as possible. The best way to do this is by living abroad for a while but that option isn't available to everyone.
In Thailand it is best for them to live in a place with lots of farangs, not to be shy or afraid to make mistakes, and just to try. Hopefully, when they make mistakes they will be corrected.
If I can see that a Thai wants to speak English but is making mistakes I correct their mistakes. They normally appreciate the help and don't take offence. Next time you hear, "Where are you come from?" do the Thai person a favour and put them right.
I appreciate Thais correcting my Thai but this is unusual - mainly because of cultural reasons. I always tell my students that we learn by making mistakes, and that it is good to try even if we make mistakes, but Thai culture is more powerful than any of my words of wisdom.
These days I actually find it difficult to get out of teaching mode in Thailand. On the bus up to Chiang Mai we stopped at rest stop. A Thai man selling fruit asked me where I was going and then asked, "Where have you been?"
Instead of answering, I was thinking, "He just used - and understood the use of - present perfect. Why can a roadside fruit vendor understand this but not Thai university students?"
By not correcting mistakes we reinforce bad habits and mistakes. In tourist areas of Thailand Thais generally want to improve their English so by correcting their mistakes we can help them.
Thais speak quickly - especially in the south - and my listening skills are weak. The problem with real life conversations is that you only get one chance to listen. In the past I have considered buying a small voice recorder to record conversations but I didn't think this would be practical.
In Chiang Mai I picked up an interactive language course consisting of 8 CDs. Remarkably in Thailand, it's original software and not a copy so it cost about Bt2,500. It's quite good.
There are various situations and first of all you get to see the dialogue written in Thai - good for practising reading. Clicking on the text results in hearing the dialogue and an English translation is also given.
The translation is useful because Thai sentence structure is nothing like English and if you perform a word-by-word translation you end up with nonsense.
The software allows me to click on a phrase as many times as I want to hear it over and over again - something you can't do in real life.
As usual, the transliteration is abysmal. I can read Thai so I ignore the meaningless paa-saa karaoke because not only is it a waste of time, it is completely misleading. Here's an example.
In one of the dialogues there is a farang called Tom. Tom's name gets written in Thai and when this gets transliterated back into English it becomes 'theom'.
Now, if you ask an English speaker to read and pronounce 'theom' how many are going to pronounce it 'Tom'? Not many, I would hazard to guess.
In another situation a guy is repairing an air-conditioner. The Thai word for repair - som - which rhymes with Tom, gets transliterated the same way so we end up with seom. WTF? Are the people who write this stuff on drugs? Perhaps they've attended one full-moon party too many?
This kind of thing is absolutely typical of transliterated Thai. There's no reason why transliteration can't be done more accurately but for some reason it is appalling.
If you want to learn how to speak Thai the best thing you can is learn how to read Thai. This utterly hopeless system of writing Thai words with English letters that exists will only handicap you.
The course I bought is called Visual Dictionary Step 3 (Perfect Vision Multimedia) and on each CD there are two versions - one for Thais learning English, and one for farangs learning Thai.
I looked at Step 2 but it was too easy. Step 3 consists of conversations whereas Step 2 just seemed to be simple questions and phrases that I already knew.
I've only spent about three sessions with the course so far but will provide an update some time in the future.
Having these Thai lessons on my netbook computer would be great. I have plenty of hard disk space so could easily copy the CD images on to its hard disk. There's a big problem though with the current generation of netbook computers, and that is the screen resolution isn't big enough.
This language learning software requires a 1024x768 pixel display or bigger and my Lenovo's 1024x600 just isn't sufficient. I can't run Adobe RAW either because of the same problem, and the Yahoo! e-mail application also complains about insufficient resolution.
While travelling last week, having the netbook with me was great but the screen really does need to be a little bigger. All the manufacturers have jumped on the netbook bandwagon and have churned out machines that all look basically the same.
An Intel Atom processor and a 1024x600 display seem to be pretty standard across the industry. Improvements are being made with every new model but manufacturers really need to fix the screen resolution problem.
Sunday 11th October 2009
On my way up to Kamphaeng Phet from Bangkok by bus last week there was a girl sitting in front of me who worked in an electronics factory in Bangkok but who was going home to recuperate after sustaining some very nasty facial injuries.
While wandering around Chiang Mai night bazaar a few days ago I saw two vendors with identical scars on their left knees. Knee injuries can be pretty nasty and these were big scars. One girl was still in a lot of trouble three years after the injury and had difficulty walking.
During my last few weeks of teaching before the mid-term break it had been raining quite a lot and the school had started to resemble a hospital with students (including some of mine) limping around patched up with plasters, bandages and casts.
If you've lived in Thailand for a while you don't even need to ask about how these injuries happen. However, just to make sure I normally do ask and the answer is always the same.
When you see how many motorbikes there are in Thailand - and you observe how Thais drive them - it is obvious that there will be a lot of accidents causing death and injury. And there are.
If you look carefully at Thais you will find that many have old scars on their arms and legs. If you ask why, you will normally be told they are the results of motorbike accidents.
Thais seem to regard motorbike accidents as being inevitable in life. I've been told many times by Thais that motorbikes aren't dangerous. Most of the accidents aren't life threatening but many Thais don't bother with crash helmets and head injuries can be an exception.
I asked the girl on the bus if she was wearing a helmet when the accident happened. She told me yes but the strap wasn't secured (something else that is very common) so when the impact occurred it just flew off.
When farangs arrive to live in Thailand, rather than set a good example many simply copy what Thais do. On some occasions I've seen farang maniacs on motorbikes going even faster than the Thai maniacs on motorbikes. Many also don't bother with crash helmets.
There isn't much law enforcement in Thailand and motorbike riders take advantage of this. However, the police occasionally set up check points and pull over riders not wearing helmets.
The farang in the picture had just been pulled over for not wearing a helmet in Chiang Mai. Perversely, he put his helmet on after he was stopped. In future it might be better for him to reverse this procedure.
Continuing the theme of lying today, there is deceit everywhere in the world wherever there is money to be made.
I've been writing a lot recently because I'm on a mid-term break and I finally have some time to myself. For the last year I've been working full-time for a language school. Prior to that I was working independently part-time. There is a huge difference.
During term time I work four-and-a-half days a week, plus tutoring in the evenings. The amount of tutoring changes, ranging from nothing to three evenings a week.
Classroom time is only part of the story though. On my 'days off' I spend a huge amount of time lesson planning, marking work, and organising printing and photocopying etc. This all gets very tiring and when I do genuinely have some free time I don't feel very active.
The plus points are that I really like the students in my main teaching job, the salary is very useful, and my employer takes care of all my visa and work permit stuff.
I used to handle all the bureaucracy myself and it was a nightmare. Every 90 days I was completing paperwork, going to the border, and then making multiple trips to immigration and the department of labour. I also had to pay for this myself.
Nowadays I simply give my employer a few photocopies once a year and sign the paperwork they prepare for me. My boss accompanies me to immigration where we spend an hour getting my visa extension and then I don't have to do anything else for another year. My employer also pays for everything.
The TEFL business is a huge money-spinner. There's money to be made teaching foreigners English, and also lots of money to be made teaching foreigners how to teach TEFL. Selling TEFL revolves around selling a dream.
People go to foreign countries for vacations and have a good time. The TEFL dream sold is that they can return to those places to live a life that will be an endless vacation and get paid for the privilege.
Few obstacles are placed in the way of people wanting to sign up for this dream. Age - no problem; qualifications - no problem; ability to speak the local language - no problem. Just sign on the dotted line and write out a cheque for $1,000.
TEFL isn't a bad thing and it has been very good to me in Thailand. With one notable exception, I've been quite lucky getting good jobs but there are lots of bad teaching assignments in Thailand.
If you've fallen in love with Thailand, for whatever reason, and want to return there to live but the only way you can support yourself is by teaching English you need to readjust your expectations a little.
The TEFL advertising literature may show lots of beautiful people laughing and smiling on sun-kissed, palm-fringed white beaches with a turquoise sea in the background but having a vacation in Thailand and working there are quite different experiences.
I've enjoyed my time teaching in Thailand but what keeps me sane is the knowledge I have other incomes so my salary from teaching isn't absolutely essential for me. Also the fact that I won't be teaching forever.
If the money was essential, and if I thought I would be teaching forever more, I don't think I'd enjoy it quite as much as I do.
The travel industry in general is another huge money-spinner, and another huge lie. I took some flights last week and browsed through the in-flight magazines. As usual, the photography and accompanying text about various places was all done in a fairy tale manner.
Most travel literature I see is written the same way. Whenever I pick up a brochure from a hotel anywhere in tourist Thailand I can almost guarantee I will find the word 'paradise' somewhere in the text.
The whole industry is about selling a dream to people dissatisfied with their lives that by travelling somewhere else they can find the lives they want. If only life were that easy.
It isn't unusual to travel somewhere in search of this dream, only to find people living there who want to go to where we have just come from in search of the same dream. We all end up just chasing our tails and not addressing the real problems.
If we have problems they exist within they can't be fixed with a change of scenery. Sometimes a change of scenery can assist in helping us to fix the problems within, but the change of scenery alone won't do this.
I try to write about Thailand in a balanced way without rose-tinted spectacles. It doesn't always go down too well because some of my observations shatter myths and dreams. It's the reality though.
Most disappointments in life are only as a result of unrealistic expectations. If you go to live in Thailand with expectations that it is some kind of paradise on earth; when reality does eventually set in it just means it will be even harder to deal with.
Saturday 10th October 2009
If the Pinocchio effect were true, my nose would look pretty small in Thailand.
There are lots of great people in Thailand but unfortunately there are quite a few who think nothing of lying through their teeth.
I'd only been living in Thailand a few months when I went out one evening to have a beer and listen to some music. Unbeknown to me I was spotted by a guy who knew my girlfriend at that time.
He told her later that I had left the bar with a girl on the back of her motorbike. This was a complete fabrication and of course it landed me in hot water.
A couple of days later - in a completely unrelated incident - an unknown girl turned up at the place I was staying while I was out. She told reception she had given me a massage but I hadn't paid for it and therefore she wanted to go to my room.
This, again, was a barefaced lie.
On my recent trip, I zipped through Bangkok very quickly and didn't give anyone a chance to try to deceive me. However, as soon as I arrived at Kamphaeng Phet bus station a sawng-thaew driver told me a pack of lies about there being no other means of transport into town, as he was trying to charge me a high fare.
I didn't trust him so took a quick look outside and found the motorbike taxi stand with several motorbike taxis ready to go. Another lie.
I checked in at my hotel in Kamphaeng Phet and asked about massage shops outside the hotel. I was told there weren't any, and that the only one was inside the hotel. It turned out to be OK but I subsequently discovered shops outside. Lies again.
I didn't have any problems in Mae Sot or Chiang Mai but cheats tend to avoid me. They like dealing with foreigners who obviously don't have a clue, and they don't like farangs who can converse in their own language.
In Chiang Mai I noticed lots of touts approaching backpackers because they seem to be gullible, easy targets. I was probably charged excessively for a few fares in Chiang Mai but that's because I'm not familiar with the city.
As soon as I got home I was happy to be in familiar territory again. My flight arrived in the afternoon while sawng-thaews are still running from the airport. Those who don't know any better take a Bt300 taxi into town but the sawng-thaew fare is Bt20 and it's almost as quick and convenient.
I had luggage with me so must have looked like a fresh tourist. The driver told me the fare was Bt40 - twice the normal fare. I questioned this and he attempted to make up a story about the fare being Bt20 to go so far, and then Bt40 to go where I wanted to go. Rubbish. The maximum fare is Bt20.
We got into a little argument and when he realised I knew more than he first thought he went into the old naam-mun pairng (oil is expensive) routine. Every single tuk-tuk and motorbike taxi driver who wants to charge me an excessive fare does this and it is getting really boring.
The price of oil is totally irrelevant. Fares are regulated by the local municipality (tessabaan) based on distance. This applies to all licensed forms of public transport.
The buggers aren't interested in distance or regulations though. Depending on who wants to go somewhere, they try to get as much as they can. If the potential passenger is a farang then the maximum possible fare is always quoted.
I was pleased to see metered taxis in Chiang Mai, and this is a good thing about Bangkok, even though some drivers will still refuse to use their meters.
Thais are not the only ones to be obstinate in this way. A few years ago while in Penang on a visa run I needed to get to the Thai Consulate to collect my passport. It's a little difficult to get to and all the taxi drivers were on strike that day.
Why?
Elsewhere in Malaysia, apparently, taxis are metered but the taxi drivers in Penang were refusing to use meters. I don't know what the situation is now because it's been a while since I was in Penang.
You don't get any of this nonsense in Singapore, of course. All the taxis there are metered and taxis are therefore very cheap. It would make life a lot easier if that were the case everywhere in Thailand, and also you would know that you weren't being ripped off.
Meanwhile, however, you have to haggle all the time and even after haggling you always feel as if you have paid too much if you aren't familiar with local fares.
Over the years, I've been lied to hundreds of times in Thailand. Sometimes the lies are to save face or to make you feel better. Other times, Thais lie just to deceive.
It's unfortunate, but if you are in Thailand you need to take everything you are told with quite a large grain of salt.